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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To argue nursery’s decision

65 replies

WishfulSprouts · 14/12/2018 06:55

Ds started nursery in sept and is very happy and settled there. He has just turn 3 so will be moving from the younger section to their preschool section.
This section is split over 2 rooms one huge room with free flow to outside and activities the other much smaller room. Although all his friends going down from his room (5x kids) all going into bigger room nursery decided to put ds in the smaller room.
When I queried this a few weeks ago they said he was too sensitive for the busier room and they’d look to move him across at a later point which seemed fine but yesterday I went in for his transition visit and was told he’d be staying in the small room until he starts school (2020).
Manager wasn’t there so raised concerns and emailed but I really am not happy he has to be separated from friends and basically stay in the smaller less fun room for that length of time surely they could move him across if they wanted to.
I’m paying for the same service as friends but their children will surely get a different experience if they are with more friends in a larger freeflpw setting compared to ds aibu?

OP posts:

QueenOfCatan · 14/12/2018 08:11

I wouldn't be happy either, particularly from the lack of free flow to outside in the smaller room.

Footle · 14/12/2018 08:24

One child won't make much difference. They must be doing the same to other children. You need to join forces with other parents.

hazeyjane · 14/12/2018 08:26

That sounds like a crap nursery, sorry. I would not be happy having my child there, all children need to have access to all areas, some children might need more support to access them, but that does not mean they should be excluded from them. I really am not the sort to say this normally but I would call ofsted, and I would move my child.

Just be aware that you’re going to have to get used to precisely this sort of arbitrary drawing of hard lines throughout his schooling. Actually you shouldn't have to get used to it, but you may have to get used to being a pain in the arse, and ignoring any 'that parent' comments.

Skybooks · 14/12/2018 08:41

I wouldn't be happy at the lack of flexibility but also of your son is 3 years and 4 mo the he should be going to school in Sept 2019?

AwdBovril · 14/12/2018 08:50

I agree with UnleashTheBulsara. If they feel your child is currently too "sensitive to cope with the larger room, they are not doing him any favours by keeping him in the small room. I'd ask how they plan to encourage him to become more confident- it doesn't sound likely to happen in the small room, & he will start school as shy / sensitive as he is now. Why do they feel this is acceptable? Having identified a potential issue, why are they not doing anything to help him, their solution seems lazy rather than proactive.

PermanentlyFrizzyHairBall · 14/12/2018 09:00

It sounds a bit like they've taken on my kids than they can handle and are trying to siphon some off into the smaller room with an excuse. I wouldn't be happy with the lack of free flow and the lack of access to the same facilities.

cadburyegg · 14/12/2018 09:04

I don’t think this is good enough. I could understand the argument for keeping some of the younger quieter children in the small room until the older ones go to school but not for the best part of 2 years. Their “numbers” argument is rubbish because they will have a lot of children going up to school in Sept 2019. Why can’t he move then? He should be with other children in his age group. Apart from anything else, if it’s a local nursery to you, there will probably be other kids there who will go to the same school.

ViragoKnows · 14/12/2018 09:07

I’d have been so happy to find a smaller nursery setting for one of mine (i’d have balked at a playstation, though). Are you used to seeing him in large groups free playing? Could you ask to sit in and see if you see the issue? Do the two rooms ever get together?

Dreamingofkfc · 14/12/2018 09:07

This happened to my son, well he was kept back in the younger room as they didn't have enough space for all to move him. They picked him as he's fairly easy going and would be less disruptive. I felt it held him back so asked for him to be moved and eventually they did. I would defo keep on at them.

Ljlsmum · 14/12/2018 09:07

That’s not on. How can they justify a sensitive child being denied water and messy play? They’re important areas of development. I would not be happy for my child to be kept in a smaller room with more quiet time activities. Sounds nonsensical to me.

ClarabellaCTL · 14/12/2018 09:15

I wouldn't be happy with this OP. It sounds like the nursery have taken on more children than their facilities can accommodate and as a result your DC is one of the ones losing out. If it was temporary to let him adjust then ok, but if it is permanent I wouldn't be happy with it at all. I think I would be looking for another nursery.

reluctantbrit · 14/12/2018 09:20

I would go in and ask for a meeting with the manager and his key worker. They need to tell your u how they plan to ensure that your DS has access to messy play an Rother areas not available in the smaller room as they are big parts of the EYFS, so they are required to provide it to him.

If you are not satisfied I would look for a new nursery. 18 months is a long time.

CatLadyToddlerMother · 14/12/2018 09:24

Are you sure it's not freeflow?

My DD is in a smaller group of 5 at her preschool and they're in a room at the side away from the other bigger group. But any of the 5 can choose to join the bigger group if/when they want and they still join the bigger group for outdoor time and mealtimes.

Blueblueyellow · 14/12/2018 09:30

So they said first it's because your son is sensitive and then it's because of space! CFs Op and thinking you are a walk over. You need to speak to the manager this isn't fair at all.

MrsWombat · 14/12/2018 09:31

I wouldn't be happy either and would be looking for clarification before moving my child. Is the bigger classroom the main classroom that he will have lots of access to and they use the smaller one for eating/registration/hanging up their coat/key worker activities? If it's technically his room but he has access to the other room I might tolerate it until September 2019 then insist he moves to the bigger classroom. I'm guessing they will have play time outside, but if he's stuck in that room for the rest of the day I would be looking elsewhere.

Molakai · 14/12/2018 09:36

That set up does not seem adequate at all. How do they justify the difference in opportunity for the 2 groups? And how can they meet the requirements of the EYFS?
I would be looking for another provision.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 14/12/2018 09:58

This sounds like my old nursery. They were all about the money. Was ok when we started but by the time we left they’d ramped up the children and 90% of the staff had changed. It was all a bit too late for us as dc was about to start school so we didn’t want to have to do settling in somewhere else for such a short time. But here I would definitely just find somewhere else.

Get it all in writing why they are keeping your dc in a (by the sounds of it) totally inadequate room. Then move and report to ofsted.

Our old nursery is actually rated outstanding but I’d never send dc2 there. The management saw children as figures on their bank balance.

DeathyMcDeathStarFace · 14/12/2018 10:44

If the small room is only a quarter of the size of the big room, has fewer playing facilities and no free flow to outside then offer them a quarter of the price, see how they like only getting a quarter of what they expect.

Make sure you see a manager and get it sorted, if nothing else you won't be getting the same services for your money that others are getting and it doesn't sound fair for the children in the smaller room. Get everything discussed and agreed on paper and if you're not satisfied consider finding a nursery/preschool you'd be happier with.

stayfit · 14/12/2018 14:15

How come they are not seeing him being separated from friends as an issue. At 3 they start making friends who start school together following year. (Assuming many of them will be in same area/schools). Your son will be out of the group of friends and hence this is unfair. I would make a email with bullet points and demand a meeting with manager straight away.

itsaboojum · 14/12/2018 14:20

Definitely discuss with the manager.

I’m not sure why anyone is recommending Ofsted involvement though.

Dahlietta · 14/12/2018 14:25

YANBU
Unless there's something you have misunderstood, this sounds like a crap set up for your DC and also all the others in the smaller room. All the children should surely have access to the same activities and facilities. There's surely no reason why they can't put different groups in the smaller room at different times or why they couldn't put the youngest in there for a short time and then move them on as younger children come up from the younger group.

Even if your child is timid, I can't see how that's going to be helped by this setup, but it sounds like it could just be an excuse anyway. I agree that you should ask for a meeting with the manager.

Scotinoz · 14/12/2018 14:38

That sounds a weird setup.

My children's' preschool has one huge 'preschool' room with the kids spilt into 2 groups; essentially 2019 school starters and 2020 school starters. During free play they all mingle, but separate into their age groups for some activities. They do have a small room too, but it's used for 'teaching time'. Can't imagine, 25% of the kids using it as their full time room.

I'd definitely speak to management about that one!!

hazeyjane · 14/12/2018 16:04

I’m not sure why anyone is recommending Ofsted involvement though

These are the guidelines for complaining to Ofsted wrt early years settings.

Ofsted will only investigate complaints that relate to development, care and safety of children in early years education and childcare and will therefore not become involved in disputes about contracts or fees.

It sounds as though the setting is not meeting the needs of the children in its care and sounds like it is not adhering to the EYFS. I would want Ofsted to know this for any upcoming inspections.

PattiStanger · 14/12/2018 16:10

Always on here there are some posters who jump straight to ofsted when the obvious course of action is to have a proper meeting with the manager.

You can't just ring up ofsted on a whim. Go through the proper channels and have an adult discussion to find out the full facts before you decide what to do next.

JudasPrudy · 14/12/2018 16:11

I wouldn't be happy at all. How is putting him in a smaller room going to prepare him for school?

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