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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to leave 8 week old in car seat at petrol station?

33 replies

Barranas · 13/12/2018 22:05

Went in to petrol station. Very small, very quiet. Can see car from shop. No queue.

Lady at front notices I am no longer pregnant (I'm a regular at said station). Said 'who has the baby'

I said 'she's in the car'

She said 'on her own? Goodness no you shouldn't leave her!'

WIBU? Genuinely i thought this was a far better option than waking her up and bringing her in to the shop, out in the fumes, to buckle her back in a minute later.

I'm a new mum and no idea what I'm doing. Feel like I'm just winging it sometimes. This made me feel guilty and question myself massively.

I wouldn't have done it if it were super busy, a huge queue or I couldn't see the car etc...

OP posts:
dahliaaa · 13/12/2018 22:07

Congratulations on your baby Smile
I’m sure lots of people will disagree with me but I always left mine in the car at petrol station.

Sparrowlegs248 · 13/12/2018 22:07

Yanbu AT ALL. I have never seen anyone take a baby into a petrol station to pay. If it worries you, use the pay at pump ones though tbh, I always go in as often want to buy milk or some other essential without having to visit a proper shop.

CrookedMe · 13/12/2018 22:09

I've never ever taken a child into the petroleum station to pay, not have I ever seen anyone do it.

Oakenbeach · 13/12/2018 22:10

YANBU

Some people are far too neurotic!

Youngandfree · 13/12/2018 22:10

Yanbu

Hairyfairy01 · 13/12/2018 22:11

It never occurred to me to take my babies out at petrol stations either until I came on mumsnet. I’m not sure why anyone would go though all the hassle and risk taking them over the forecourt to be honest. Personally I think that is more risky. Congratulations on your baby. We are all winging it, go with what feels right to you.

SalmonLeBon · 13/12/2018 22:12

It's fine. Far safer than hoiking a car seat across a forecourt.

All the catastrophisers will be along to tell you that the baby is bound to self combust, choke, get kidnapped, or you will get killed and not get back to the car etc. But, any of these is a vanishingly rare risk.

Zucker · 13/12/2018 22:12

Congratulations and YANBU!

BeanTownNancy · 13/12/2018 22:13

Safer in the locked car than crossing the forecourt IMO.

Reccy2018 · 13/12/2018 22:13

I asked this at my NCT group, was told in no uncertain terms you must take baby with you.

Fruitbatdancer · 13/12/2018 22:13

Pay at pump was designed for new mums who had people on mumsnet make them feel guilty!

SalmonLeBon · 13/12/2018 22:13

Oh and congratulations. Everyone is winging it.
Flowers

Oakenbeach · 13/12/2018 22:16

A baby is far more at risk being lumbered over a patrol station forecourt than s/he would be left securely in a car.

StrawberrySquash · 13/12/2018 22:17

Someone asked this the other week and leave the baby in the car, it's far safe than crossing the forecourt won by a mile.

TheBubGrower · 13/12/2018 22:20

Personally I have never gone in to pay without my now 2.5 year old. If he's with me and I don't want to take him out I would go to a pay at pump station. For me, I just felt that although it's a hassle I didn't want to risk leaving him, especially as there can be a queue if it's an express supermarket type station. Also it sets my car alarm off so I can't lock him in! I'm not surprised many people do it though. Would you leave them parked up on the road to go into a corner shop? I see this as being the same thing

TheBubGrower · 13/12/2018 22:22

I don't understand why people are saying it's so dangerous to take them across tje6 forecourt?? Surely no more than crossing a quiet road? Am I missing something? Before my LO could walk I'd take him in his car seat

Oakenbeach · 13/12/2018 22:22

or you will get killed and not get back to the car etc.

This is the weirdest of all arguments... in the extraordinarily unlikely event that you die on the forecourt then it’s likely your baby is likely to die or at least be injured too. Apparently it’s better that the baby dies than stays in the car!

NewYoiker · 13/12/2018 22:26

It's alright op I got petrol on the way home from a really long dog walk and my dog was in the car so I was talking to him whilst I filled up the car through the open window. 'Who's a good boy? Did we have a good walk? Have we had a good day? What shall we do for dinner? I'm just going to go and pay now be good I won't be long?'

Got to the shop to go and pay and the woman was like erm can you go and get your child please? I could see you talking to your child when you were filling up and I'm not happy with you leaving them in the car.. so I went and got my dog. Blush apparently it's not normal to talk to your dog whilst filling your car up 😂

cadburyegg · 13/12/2018 22:26

YANBU. This is the kind of thing you worry about now but it goes out of the window when you have another child. When I just had DS1 I used to take him in sometimes and got funny looks. Now I have 2, they are both left in the car in the unlikely event I go to a petrol station without pay at pump. If anyone said anything to me about it I'd ask them if they'd be happy to help me get a 3 year old and baby across a busy petrol station forecourt and help me pay for the petrol whilst wrangling both kids. No? Thought not.

treesup · 13/12/2018 22:26

@TheBubGrower hardly the same thing!! You can't see them when going to a corner shop!

The baby is safer in a locked car. If the alarm goes off disable it with fob and rearm.

Stop being a judgemental prick

agnurse · 13/12/2018 22:28

Congratulations on your baby! Thing is, though, children should never be left alone in a vehicle when they're little. There have been documented cases of thieves stealing a vehicle with a child or baby in the back seat. If it is an option, you might consider a "pay at the pump" option.

cadburyegg · 13/12/2018 22:30

Thing is, though, children should never be left alone in a vehicle when they're little. There have been documented cases of thieves stealing a vehicle with a child or baby in the back seat.

But these cases are RARE and in most cases it's more risky to drag young kids across a petrol forecourt. When I go and pay at the kiosk for petrol I'm often less than a minute. Can a thief unlock my locked car, hotwire it, and drive it away in that time?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 13/12/2018 22:30

I left the baby in the car

treesup · 13/12/2018 22:30

@NewYoiker I'd of gone batshit at this lady!! How dare they judge and patronise people in this way.

You've made a judgement on the safety of your child (dog) and they are calling you on it.

I wouldn't dream of going into a shop without my child. Ever. But the petrol station most of the time they have been left sleeping. If awake/crying baby I wouldn't take them.

Celebelly · 13/12/2018 22:33

@NewYoiker That really made me laugh. I chat to my dog when I'm filling up too. This makes me want to dress her in a huge babygro in case the same thing happens to me Grin

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