Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish nursery opened earlier

164 replies

Alarice · 13/12/2018 15:30

And before anyone says that we need to find a new nursery - they all open at 8.

It's a pain. I really need to be in work before 8, ideally, but as it is, I get in at 8:25 looking and feeling disorganised as hell.

OP posts:
highheelsandbobblehats · 14/12/2018 20:19

Depending on where you are and how many children you have, it might work out similar cost to employ a nanny. I was a live out one for years (if you don't have space or want one living in).
I nannied for families with multiple children and it was often a cheaper option for them than paying individual nursery fees. Plus, I came to them so they could get ready and just go. Yes, you have to factor nanny sickness and holiday, but if you're a teacher, you could request that as the post us term time only, you'd appreciate her taking her holidays in holidays. And having a nanny has the added advantage of them looking after your child of they are poorly. A nursery won't take them if they're ill, so you have to take the day off. A nanny will have them.

Youmadorwhat · 14/12/2018 20:32

@Alarice what time are you arriving at school? What time do the kids start at? What has your head teacher said? Have they said anything about your timing or are you just feeling stressed in yourself??

KatieKittens · 14/12/2018 20:36

I hear what you are saying op, but you need to accept the fact that you will arrive at work at 8.25. Perhaps you feel stressed because you want to be there at 8am.

If you get prepped the day before and have to do list sitting waiting for you, then you will feel more on top of things. You may feel flustered, but shouldn’t be disorganised to the point that it is causing you stress.

If last minute duties/ meetings are cropping up at 8am, then you need to speak to your head teacher/ year head and make it clear that you need advance notice.

Are you contractually obliged to begin work at 8am? What time does your class begin?

Original poster
Alarice · 14/12/2018 20:38
  1. It's a ball ache.
OP posts:
Coolaschmoola · 14/12/2018 20:50

I'm a teacher. My childminder starts at 8am. I get to work at 8.23 most days. I never feel rushed, or stressed arriving at that time. I set my classroom up for the morning before I go home each evening. On my way to the office I nip into my room, log on and switch the projector on, and I'm at my desk by 8.30, which is my official start time. Quick coffee and email check, meeting or whatever and away we go.

You may not be able to change the nursery start time, but you could possibly delay your pick up to get ahead for the morning before you leave.

Youmadorwhat · 14/12/2018 21:08

8.40 start with kids or 8.40 arrival

Original poster
Alarice · 14/12/2018 21:11

im not worthy coola

OP posts:
combatbarbie · 14/12/2018 21:14

So it's ok for you to be "late and stressed" everyday as long as DH gets to work on time? Seems very one sided and dare I say sexist

Original poster
Alarice · 14/12/2018 21:17

Well, not quite. It's more that if he dropped them off he'd be late whereas I'm on time - just!

OP posts:
Youmadorwhat · 14/12/2018 21:27

Fellow teacher here...I drop my kids to school for 8.30 (they start at 8.40) and then get to my job for 8.50(ish) depending on traffic for a 9.00 start I think that accepting that that’s the way it is would be half your battle. I just do more prep in Afterschool time. Don’t be so hard on yourself. If your head teacher isn’t bothered then relax. I have a colleague who walks into the yard as the kids are walking into the classes (nothing can be done about it) but she still gets her job done and is an amazing teacher.

behindthescenes · 14/12/2018 21:52

I’m a teacher too and it would massively stress me out to only get in at 8:25. I can have my classroom all set up but I can’t anticipate the 10-20 emails colleagues will have sent me between 7-8 or the morning briefing 8:15-8:25. Most teaching staff get in around 7:30. I’m afraid I don’t have any helpful advice - I asked work to let me start late so I do 4 short days and get paid for 3. Not ideal but feels manageable and can do drop offs. You have my sympathy - I am amazed by fellow teachers who can breeze in with 5 minutes to spare!!

homebirds · 14/12/2018 22:24

How will you manage school hours?

User02 · 14/12/2018 22:43

@Notmorewashing - I am not ignorant I am putting forward another viewpoint.
It depends why women are putting themselves through all this stress in order to work. It does seem that it is the female parent who does all the nursery runs from this thread.
I would not be paying anyone so that they can stay at home what I am suggesting is that it might be better to reduce the outgoings in order to lessen the stress and ill health in women. More women these days are having heart attacks and strokes than ever before. I don't have figures this is from counting up in my acquaintances etc.
I am more interested in lessening the stress on women than the acquisition of goods etc
On part-time work I managed to buy a 3 bed. It is a good property but not gold plated. It is in a decent area but not a spam valley area. (Spam valley is a euphemism for places where the buy the right houses and drive the right cars but can only afford Spam for a meal as a result.) I do have a car but it is not flash.
I spend time with my DC. I could not bear to drop them off at 7 am and not see them again till 7 pm.
It is about choices but sometimes the stressy stuff is too much and dangerous.

tryinganewname · 14/12/2018 22:56

@User02 you explained yourself just fine.. your second post just made us all sure of your ignorance.

How nice that you didn't have to send your children to nursery until they were 2.5 and then just for the afternoons only.

DD will be 9 months when she starts nursery, 4 days a week 7.15-4.45. What bad parents we are.

A crèche isn't educational either and I'm not saying that education is what a child of that age needs, of course learning through play is what is required, but to make out it's the same as going to a private nursery who follow the EYFS framework is bonkers.

As the OP said, surely no one else has thought of going part time or being a SAHP before?! It's simply not a choice for some and some don't want it - some want a successful career and time with other adults. Shock horror.

tryinganewname · 14/12/2018 22:58

As for your next message. DH is doing all nursery drop offs in our case and I'll be picking up 2/3 times a week, if that. He commutes by car, I commute by bus due to working in a city centre.

It's nothing to do with being women, it's whoever it's easier for and has the capacity to do so.

User02 · 14/12/2018 23:49

@Tryinganewname
I suppose it is about choices. The way things are being said on here it seems like many women don't have choices but to go back to work. I chose to have children and wanted to spend time with them. I changed my work to allow that. I chose not to aim for flash house and car, ordinary house and car still achieved the same aim. It was a downwards move to change work but later I ended up higher than ever I could in the original career and the new job was easier to fit around children.
I used the word "creche" to be non specific but it has proved to be the start of an excellent educational route.
I didn't have a husband who would do drop offs at nursery. In fact most of the time I didn't have a husband at all. He was a drain and I managed fine without that problem.
I don't fully accept that women dashing around stressing themselves through every day is any emancipation or improvement.
In this instance I think we have to agree to disagree. You chose one way and I chose another. While you may not agree with my choices I did things that way and I am out the other end as my DC are too old to need nurseries. I am concerned for all the women who do this constant dashing under pressure of time and expectation. It can not be good for health. This is about nurseries for those under 4 but then DCs move on to school and there is more stress in negotiating around that especially if 1 DC is at nursery and another at school. So much stress it seems but I am only taking the views of the PPs here. It is not my experience. If it is such a good way of life, why so many stresses being aired.
It is our own choices.

Notmorewashing · 15/12/2018 06:03

Sorry but our house in a decent area which is not gold plated, running 2 cars, bills cannot be paid by one of us. Even if it could I wouldn’t want to be a SAHM. I spend time with the kids in mornings and evenings weekends annual leave.

Yes it is difficult and a rush doing a nursery run but needs must and actually a lot of people think it’s positive. I find it a privilege to be able to put them in nursery even if we have no money left after paying bills and the childcare.

The kids father could easily do the drop offs but I actually like doing it plus my working pattern suits more due to start time, it’s not sexist if mums do the drop offs unless they are forced against their will due to a useless man.

Sorry but you are being ignorant @User02.

SnuggyBuggy · 15/12/2018 06:53

User02, know when to drop it

whambamthankyou · 15/12/2018 07:28

I think a lot of people are very shortsighted about this, they think about the baby/toddler years but what happens when kids start school. School start mostly at 8.50am and ends at 3pm. So you'll need both breakfast and after school club - that's an awfully long day for a reception aged child.

whambamthankyou · 15/12/2018 07:31

Then there's school holidays too. Our school has a holiday club but it shuts early and doesn't operate on inset days. All in all that's a lot of childcare to cover off.

SnuggyBuggy · 15/12/2018 07:43

I honestly don't get what you are supposed to do for school holidays as I imagine most holiday clubs start even later than nurseries

whambamthankyou · 15/12/2018 07:48

Our holiday collection is 9am - 5pm so for 6 weeks over the summer holidays when parents are currently moaning about nursery not being open til 7.30/8am - good luck with that one! You'd be in work by 9.30 and leaving at 4.30pm best case scenario!

whambamthankyou · 15/12/2018 07:50

Holiday Club not collection

SnuggyBuggy · 15/12/2018 07:50

I mean in my day I just stayed home alone playing computer games during the summer, guessing that wouldn't be allowed now.

tryinganewname · 15/12/2018 07:57

Well it's very nice for you @User02 but as I've already said, it's not a choice some women can or want to make. My career isn't over just because I had a child AND I'm no less of a mother for it. My choices have nothing to do with our house or cars either.

As for school days & holidays, that's when DH and I will sort hours so one drops off late and the other picks up early. I know several school clubs that open at 7.30 too but I'm yet to give schools real thought, with her only being 5 months old.

Swipe left for the next trending thread