Cyclists yelling at me

[happychange]

Ok so I crossed the road just now holding my DS, it was dark and I didn't see a cyclist. He didn't have lights on and it was very dark. Luckily I saw him, he was quite far still, maybe 10m away and I got a shock. I said 'Oops, sorry!'

He then yelled at me 'You are carrying a child, jeez!'

I just got a bit annoyed and yelled back 'you haven't got a light on!!'

Anyway, he cycled off.

I guess I should have checked the street better but.. I genuinely didn't see him, I saw a car coming from the other direction as it had its lights on but not him.

So annoyed at the mum-shaming when he didn't have his blinking lights on!!

Mum shaming? Really?

He should have had lights on. By your own admission you didn’t check as well as you should have. Thankfully the combination of the two didn’t cause an accident so chalk it up to experience

It's very hard to see when cyclists don't have lights on. YANBU. He probably shouted because he was embarrassed. As long as your little chap grows up knowing to use bike lights and reflective clothing, he'll be better than that guy.

He wasn't mum-shaming you. Calm doon.

Anyway, sounds like you dealt with it.

The cyclist is an idiot with a death wish to be cycling on the roads on a dark winter's night without any lights. I don't see that ending well.

Well I was annoyed that he yelled at me about carrying a baby like I should have been more careful.

I wonder if he would have had a go if I wasn't carrying DS and just walking on my own? Probably not

It wasn't Mum shaming. He was just startled like you were. It was a
Complete non event. You were both in the wrong but it's a pretty mundane thing to have happened.
Hopefully he will get lights and hopefully you will be more careful.

Ha mumsnet is so harsh.

It's his fault really if he didn't have lights on. Cyclists without lights are hard to see. And it was particularly critical to point out you were holding a child. He probably felt like a twat so said the first thing that would make you feel bad. Good for you for sticking up for yourself and ignore the miserable posters on here.

He's shouted at you because hes just shit his pants.

Its what people do when they get a shock or are startled, it isn't your fault HE should ensure he is visible and he probably knows that.

I suspect he'd have shouted at you whether you were alone, carrying a pot plant or whatever, forget about it, move on!

What the hell is ‘mum-shaming’? For god’s sake...

He should have had lights on.
You should have checked a bit more.
He shouldn't have shouted.
It was a potential near miss and a non event.

mum-shaming

I love MN

Obviously he should have had lights on his bike. I saw a cyclist last night in quite heavy traffic with only a helmet light. It wasn't enough as you needed to be a certain distance/angle from him to see the light. Idiot.

He should have had lights on. Am personally very angry that cyclists don't have to abide by the laws of the road. I've seen them cycling at oncoming traffic past stationary traffic and then flail arms about when a car dares to drive on their side of the road! I've had one career into my boot when I've been sat at a red light for 20 seconds causing over 1k of damage and cycle off smartish (lycra clad 30+ male, not a teen) and have watched them hold up huge amounts of traffic at rush hour by refusing to use expensive cycle lanes. If they can't keep up with traffic speed limits they shouldn't be on the road at all IMO - doing 5mph on a 50mph road is dangerous when it's a granny in a KIA or a fat man on a bike who wants to loose a few pounds.

It's illegal to cycle without lights. Last I heard it's not illegal to carry your child across a road.

The legality or illegality of cycling without lights or jaywalking is irrelevant if you're both dead

yanbu
he should have had his lights on

Ah, I didn't realise 'mum-shaming' was one of those blood in the water phrases. Duly noted.

Yabu, bikes are vehicles, can do serious damage to pedestrians, and should be fitted with lights. And he was a bit of a twat about being invisible-he's the one who raised 'think of the CHILDREN'. I'm a cyclist and I take full responsibility for being part of the traffic.

Whooops, I meant YANBU

I'm glad you're ok. I blame him much more than you.
I never heard of Mum-shaming as a thing. I wouldn't accept that into my consciousness.

OP I've been shouted at by cyclists in the wrong as well as car drivers and pedestrians. It is part of using the roads that men who are in the wrong are likely to lash out, shout and blame you. They even do that when you are a witness to their wrong doing to another person.

this has made my night at work more entertaining, mum shaming honestly

@LonelyandTiredandLow - you mustn't be in the UK as legally here cyclists don't have to use cycle lanes. You are actually advised not to if it would put you in danger such as deposit you in a lane fast moving traffic at the end or will give you punctures due to glass on the lane.

He is a massive idiot for not having lights on but

As a cyclist the number of people who don’t look before crossing the room is unbelievable. People so often just listen and they haven’t a clue what is coming. I thought it was a fundamental you look before crossing the road. One of the reasons I’m getting a camera for my bike to protect myself!

Amy well that certainly explains why councils don't bother spending their money on cycle lanes .

YANBU. He should have lights on.