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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - his 'innocent flirting' doesn't seem so innocent

52 replies

unsure1348 · 12/12/2018 11:28

Last night my boyfriend of 6 months was telling me about his day over dinner. He went for a flu shot and the pharmacist who gave him the shot was 'clearly hitting on him' apparently. She was saying he was very beautiful and in his words was 'very enthusiastic about being Facebook friends.' I asked him if he agreed to being Facebook friends and he said 'no' - categorically. I have discovered today that that was a lie and they are, in fact, Facebook friends.

I have two issues with that. 1. How is this situation different from going to a bar, getting hit on and then willingly exchanging numbers so that further contact can be made? And why would he want to do that? And, 2. He lied to my face.

I challenged him on both points and he says he 'hasn't done anything wrong.'

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Palegreenstars · 12/12/2018 11:30

If he lied about that almost certainly he hit on the pharmacist rather then other way round. Three people in your relationship you, him and his ego.

Trills · 12/12/2018 11:32

He's done at least one thing wrong, he's lied to you.

Duckherding · 12/12/2018 11:32

A proven lier get rid now while it's easier

Candy43 · 12/12/2018 11:32

So your ex boyfriend of 6 months...... ;)

Seriously dump him. He is inviting women who are interested in him to contact him and lied to you. Leave before you have a serious investment in this relationship like a kid or a mortgage

BuffaloCauliflower · 12/12/2018 11:33

He definitely hit on the pharmacist not the other way round and is telling you this story so it looks less bad on him when you find out they are facebook friends.

This is one of those red flags you get early in a relationship that allow you to get out now before the pain gets too bad. He’s showing himself to be a philanderer, don’t let him play you more.

joystir59 · 12/12/2018 11:34

Horrible that this happens just before Christmas..... but I hope that doesn't deter you from LTB

AtrociousCircumstance · 12/12/2018 11:35

What an arrogant twit. And a liar.

Stay with him if you want to waste time and feel bad.

dinosaurglitterrepublic · 12/12/2018 11:35

Lying about it is clearly wrong. I would also say befriending a flirty pharmacist on Facebook is also wrong. I couldn’t imagine saying anything other than ‘no’ in his position. I don’t see it as any different than the phone number and bar scenario you describe either. YANBU, he is an idiot.

Suebnm · 12/12/2018 11:38

Do you think he'll say she must have found him somehow and he didn't give her his facebook? is that how it goes?

Shoxfordian · 12/12/2018 11:42

He hasn't done anything wrong apart from flirting with another woman and friending her on Facebook
Dump him

Motoko · 12/12/2018 11:48

You've only been seeing him for 6 months, and he's already lied to you. Like pp, I also suspect that it was him that hit on the pharmacist, rather than the other way around.

This is a red flag, as a pp said. Ignore it at your peril. Dump him.

Knittink · 12/12/2018 11:52

I'd dump him regardless of whether the flirting was innocent. He sounds like an arrogant, show-offy twat. Bragging to his girlfriend about another woman hitting in him - what kind of arsehole does that?!

Sethis · 12/12/2018 11:54

If he's happy to flat lie to your face, what else do you think he's going to lie about in the future of this relationship?

If she was hitting on him, and he wasn't responding, why add her?

He's done everything wrong and has shown you exactly what kind of person he is. Leave.

Pagwatch · 12/12/2018 11:54

He’s a vain, lying dickhead. What more do you need to know.

He had no reason to tell you about the pharmacist so I’d find his staggering ego more reason to dump him than anything else.

kittencatmeow · 12/12/2018 11:55

So a pharmacist while giving a patient a flu jab asked if they could be Facebook friends??

I'd say that was highly inappropriate and could be given formal warning from an employer over? He was the patient...

But it's unlikely that actually happened and more likely he pestered for hers... at the very least he wouldn't accept the friend request if he was innocent

WeeMadArthur · 12/12/2018 11:59

Return his Christmas presents and dump him.

Linziepie · 12/12/2018 12:04

Get rid.

Itwasatuesday · 12/12/2018 12:25

He lied, get rid.

PeroniZucchini · 12/12/2018 12:29

He sounds like an utter dickhead. I’d rather be single than have to deal with that kind of crap.

As if the pharmacist ‘hit on’ him... “you’re beautiful” pfffft...

Sarahjconnor · 12/12/2018 12:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 12/12/2018 12:31

He’s keeping his options open isn’t he? At least he’s given you fair warning. He’s a bit of a dope to tell you this story believing it will show him in a good light.

halfwitpicker · 12/12/2018 12:32

He's not only a liar but he's a stupid one at that. Why did he tell you?!

halfwitpicker · 12/12/2018 12:32

Honestly his stupidity would bug me more than his lying.

LifesABeachCoaster · 12/12/2018 12:35

@halfwitpicker

Wants to keep her on her toes, make her jealous. Lush

halfwitpicker · 12/12/2018 12:36

Yup, he's managed that.