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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - his 'innocent flirting' doesn't seem so innocent

52 replies

unsure1348 · 12/12/2018 11:28

Last night my boyfriend of 6 months was telling me about his day over dinner. He went for a flu shot and the pharmacist who gave him the shot was 'clearly hitting on him' apparently. She was saying he was very beautiful and in his words was 'very enthusiastic about being Facebook friends.' I asked him if he agreed to being Facebook friends and he said 'no' - categorically. I have discovered today that that was a lie and they are, in fact, Facebook friends.

I have two issues with that. 1. How is this situation different from going to a bar, getting hit on and then willingly exchanging numbers so that further contact can be made? And why would he want to do that? And, 2. He lied to my face.

I challenged him on both points and he says he 'hasn't done anything wrong.'

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Trinity66 · 12/12/2018 12:36

So the pharmacist was a complete stranger and she asked for his FB details? That seems really odd, if that is what happened, he definitely didn't tell her he wasn't single and giving her his details implies he's interested. Also, the lying alone would be close to deal breaking for me. I can't stand liars

Trinity66 · 12/12/2018 12:40

He hasn't done anything wrong apart from flirting with another woman and friending her on Facebook
Dump him

Don't forget lying to the OPs face Wink

LilMy33 · 12/12/2018 12:47

He’s a liar and an arrogant twatbag. Off he fucks.

RivanQueen · 12/12/2018 12:49

The fact that he is lying to you so openly and easily at this early stage of the relationship says so much about the type of person he is and just how stupid he thinks you are. Also how's the ego on this guy? Telling you that a woman in a professional position was calling him "beautiful" (bahahaha I had to LOL at the idea of that) and "very enthusiastically" asking him to be friends on FB?? I call total bullshit on that one OP. His vanity is staggering. I second what other PP's have said, he was definitely the one hitting on her, not the other way round.
Do yourself a favour and get rid of this twat.

Dragonbait · 12/12/2018 12:54

Sorry OP but if he's doing this 6 months in - while you should still be in the honeymoon phase - then it doesn't bode well for any future relationship.

CaptainCabinets · 12/12/2018 13:17

Oh yuck, please get rid!

WhoKnewBeefStew · 12/12/2018 13:18

He’s lied, not worth the hassle at this stage in the relationship

Aquamarine1029 · 12/12/2018 13:31

You know one thing for sure. You can't trust him any further than you can throw him. Stay with him and I guarantee he will cheat on you. Get rid.

decemberfrost · 12/12/2018 16:30

Horrible bastard. You can do better.

I agree that he was the one who asked for HER name/FB details.

He also lied about it.

What a cunt.

Dump him.

Vehivle · 13/12/2018 02:53

Does fb show him as being in a relationship with you? Not really relevant you should still leave him for lying to you and being a slimy flirt. But i just thought that guys who cheat tend to hide their relationship or not acknowledge it on social media to appear single. The fact he's adding/accepting girls to his fb tells me he probably doesn't have you as his gf on there. Just further reasons to get rid of him pronto to be honest. Definitely do not have children or shared finances with this conceited liar.

Emptyspace · 13/12/2018 03:21

I wouldn’t have thought the average pharmacist would hit on their patients. Probably he sought her out on Facebook himself.

puzzledlady · 13/12/2018 03:23

Nah. What really happened is that he hit in her, he was very enthusiastic about being FB friends - but then lied to you so he wouldn’t look suspect. What an absolute tool.

Tellem2 · 13/12/2018 06:18

There's nothing innocent about flirting. It's flirting. You don't engage in such activity without intentions. Having said that, I think he's doing it to somehow make you jealous, which is dangerous because how far is he willing to go with it.

bastardkitty · 13/12/2018 06:21

'He's done nothing wrong'. Ideal. He's made it really clear for you that he's a slimeball. Dump and don't look back.

userlotsanumbers · 13/12/2018 06:25

"Ok, just roll your sleeve up, this will hurt a bit.....by the way, you're very beautiful, have my Facebook details"

No. Really....no. A complete fantasist, LTB.

Baking101 · 13/12/2018 06:25

What woman calls a man beautiful to his face? Surely you'd say good looking, handsome etc. Beautiful is usually used with women.

I think he hit on her, called her beautiful and is too stupid to have managed to think of a more convincing lie and actually changed the words.

Bluntness100 · 13/12/2018 06:29

Lol, sure rhe needy unprofessional horny pharamasist was telling him he was very beautiful, sure she was, because that shit happens in real life.

You must know it was the other way about, he just had mentionitis and wanted to talk about her. He was the one who was hitting on her, told her she was beautiful and wanted to connect with her on social media.

pictish · 13/12/2018 06:30

Um...she did not hit on him and ask to be his facebook friend while he was getting his flu jab.

PurpleFlower1983 · 13/12/2018 06:34

Massive red flag for what’s to come! Get rid!

ChristmassyContessaConSparkles · 13/12/2018 06:43

Ha ha ha ha ha.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure you hit in her first and then lied to me about it because you think I'm actually that stupid. If you want her then she's welcome to have you as I'm certainly not interested any more. Byeeee"

And block.

ChristmassyContessaConSparkles · 13/12/2018 06:44

Hit *on!

I dumped a boyfriend just before Christmas once, over the phone as he was in another country. It beat staying with him, that's for bloody sure.

mathanxiety · 13/12/2018 06:54

Hopefully if you bought him something for Christmas you kept the receipt?

strawberrisc · 13/12/2018 06:54

I work in a school. It would be the equivalent of me befriending some “fit” Dad on FB. Highly inappropriate. She’s at fault as well.

Ellie56 · 13/12/2018 07:02

She hit on him saying he was very beautiful? Yeah right. Hmm

He is a lying scumbag. I would return his Christmas present to the shop for a refund, and dump him. You can do much better than this.

UnleashTheBulsara · 13/12/2018 07:18

He thinks he's irresistible.
He thinks you're stupid.

Neither of these are appealing. He's also a liar, likely a philanderer and definitely very foolish himself.

You're worth more. Don't waste any more time on this loser.