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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to check everything was ok?

55 replies

Alpacaface · 12/12/2018 09:57

Will keep this as short as I can...
Walking along the street this morning, a man was coming towards me holding a boy's hand (boy about 3/4 to). Boy was crying and saying repeatedly "I want daddy" and the man kept saying "daddy's at work". We walked past eachother, but I felt uneasy so I ran back and said "excuse me, but I just wanted to check everything is ok, because this child his crying for his daddy" The man picked up the boy and started to explain, in a friendly tone, that he is the boy's dad, told me his address and said I could check if I liked. I said I'm sure that wasn't necessary, I just wanted to make sure everything was fine. By this time the boy had stopped crying. But then, also in a friendly tone, he said "I think that was really rude to be honest". I was quite taken aback, and as they walked off I said "I apologize, but if a child is shouting for their Daddy I can't just ignore it". For one thing I don't think I was rude, I was perfectly friendly. However, I'm willing to risk being rude if I have any concerns about a child's safety. But what do other people think? Was I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
FuckBrussel · 12/12/2018 11:57

I think you did a good thing, OP. Yes, ok, the man was a bit miffed at the implications of your question, but that was all. No real harm done, and if he was up to no good he'd know he'd aroused suspicions.

And supposing you had done nothing, he had been abducting the child, and you recognised him on the news later on? That would have been a whole lot worse than causing a bit of bad feeling.

Alpacaface · 12/12/2018 12:11

Thanks again everyone. I am definitely someone who acts emotionally/on adrenaline. But thinking about it a few hours later, if my daughter was crying and shouting for her mum while I was with her, I would much rather know there were strangers out there who would ask the question and risk feeling awkward.

OP posts:
thesepretzelsaremakingmehungry · 12/12/2018 12:39

I'd want you to ask if it was me, I wouldn't be offended. You just don't know. I'm glad there are people out there willing to intervene and look out for vulnerable people.
There's a wee boy in Australia missing called William Tyrrell and no one seems to have a clue who took him. He went missing in 2014, aged 3.

Alpacaface · 12/12/2018 17:17

@penisbeakerfan1 saying I "sound horribly homophobic and sexist" is quite an accusation. You are right, there "are lots of same sex relationships out there", so did it cross your mind that perhaps I am also in one. And you also assume I wouldn't have bothered if it was a woman, and nowhere have I said that. Now who's jumping to conclusions...?

OP posts:
spanishwife · 13/12/2018 13:43

It's quite a new thing I think where everyone just minds their own business and doesn't get involved. In the past (and in most other cultures) it's very normal for everyone to be keeping an unconscious eye on children/any other adult and will step in if there is potential danger.

I can think of times as an adult I would have liked someone in public to go "are you ok/do you need help?" rather than just turning a blind eye and minding their own business.

Good on you OP - it can be embarrassing but it's the right thing to do.

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