AIBU to hire a nanny instead of nursery?

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Hi all, I had planned to send my PFB to nursery aged 1. He will most likely do four long days (8-6) as we both work in London, have commutes etc. I will ask for 3 days in the office and one at home, but may not get it. The more I read about the research into nurseries the more I think perhaps it isn't the right option for my baby when he's so young? What are your experiences of hiring a nanny? Obviously I know nannies are a more expensive option (especially for one baby). If it helps for context nursery is expensive where I live, about £70 per day. We don't have any family nearby so nobody to help with childcare on a regular basis or provide emergency childcare. I would be very grateful for any advice / experiences as this is all new to me and I feel very unsure. Stopping work isn't an option for financially.

What about a childminder, cheaper then a nanny.
Minder and nurseries both have their cons and pro s

Both me and my husband work in London and have our baby in nursery 8 - 6 five days a week.

You’ll get a lot of people on here saying they get tired, but my baby has been there since she was ten months and absolutely loves it. It helps that she is an incredibly active and outgoing girl. If I had a timid baby I would definitely be thinking childminder or nanny share.

I’m a nanny, I have my charge 5 days a week 7:30-6 she was 9 months when I started. Things to factor in are providing a kitty for activity’s/classes etc. You’ll be an employer so you’ll be responsible for tax,NI and pension etc. The going rate is 10-12 pounds net in London. I have 15 years experience so I get a little more then that. I think it’s benefits are if the child is ill the nanny will still have the child whereas at nursery you can’t take them. You have flexibility if trains are delayed etc but that has to work both ways!!!!

You can cchoose 10 days of the nanny’s holiday and she can choose 10 days which

Ultimately you have a person in your home providing 1-1 care, love and attention. Some of my duties are

Children laundry, children’s cooking, and keeping toys tidy/sorted etc.

Can’t think of anything else on top of my head but feel free to ask.

Both have pros and cons, but you need to do what you’re must comfortable with. For me, 1 was too young for full time nursery so we did a mix; 2 day nursery, 3 day nanny. I liked the social aspect of nursery, but felt at 1 he needed the one to one time in his own home the nanny gave and she could take him to the classes he enjoyed. Everyone is different however and there isn’t a right answer. Finding a nanny is easy. Finding a good nanny is more difficult. Be absolutely clear as to what you want upfront. Be open and clear in your communication. Make sure you can trust them and then show them you trust them , ie don’t undermine them. If you have an issue, discuss it immediately. Be friendly, but remember they’re not your friend. They’re an employee. Good luck!

You need to factor in sick pay and maternity pay.

Nursery will be fine but advantages to nanny are you don't have to get baby up and out with you . Nanny will give him breakfast etc.

Yanbu at all. As you will have read 1-1 attention is the ideal for under 3s. If you can afford a nanny why wouldn’t you pay for the best quality care for your child?

If you can afford it I would definitely chose a nanny for a 1 year old. Plenty of time for nursery later on. He can have 1:1 attention in his own home, much more flexible (in terms of what he does on a day to day basis) and if he's ill you can still go to work.

But of course it costs. You could look for a nanny share which woukd give you some if the same benefits.

I’m using a childminder for both of mine (southeast, £65 per day per child). the best of both worlds really i think, but good childminders often have long waiting lists, so you might be a bit late! Live out nannies are too expensive for us (even for 2 kids), and we don’t have space for live in

Me and DH both have long commutes so we always knew we would need childcare 8-6 (and tbh that is still tricky to manage, it needs both of us to be flexible with starts and finishes).

DD was 13mo when I went back to work. She initially went to a childminder, but for various reasons it didn't work out, and we moved her to a nursery at 16mo.

She has always, always, always been absolutely fine. In fact, since she moved to nursery, she has thrived. Being in the company of a variety of different adult carers and other children of different ages, races, faiths, cultures and appearances has without a doubt contributed her understanding of the world and how she relates to others.

I am sure that a good nanny would also provide an excellent standard of care - but there are limits to the breadth of interaction that one adult can provide to one child. For us, a nanny was never a realistic option financially. But knowing what I know now, I would 100% choose a nursery.

I think it depends on your baby. With mine, I like him in nursery and that is my preference. Like you, he does 4 long days (one a little shorter as I wfm).

He has always been quite a confident independent baby, and he enjoys scampering about nursery with the other babies and toys. If nursery hadn't have worked out I would have got a nanny, and childminder would be my last lrefo.

But if I had a different kind of kid I can definitely see other options would be more attractive.

We felt that 5 days of nursery was too much and have always used a combination of nursery and nanny. There are pros and cons to both but the additional flexibility on nanny days is great when you are commuting.

Ultimately there is no right or wrong answer, it's about what works best for you and your child(dren). Our day split between nanny and nursery has varied over several years so you can try an arrangement and see how it goes. I was told I would never find a part time nanny but in fact it seems like most nanny jobs round here are 2 or 3 days a week and most nannies have 2 employers.

Have you thought of a nannyshare? Two kids, one nanny? My friends did this for their 1 year old and it worked really well. They used koru kids which matches families with other families and with nannies, does all the paperwork etc be and it's based in London. Worth a look.

I wanted something more personal than nursery when ours was very little. Find a lovely childminder who only looked after three little ones at a time. They grew up almost as siblings, we’re still in contact after many years. She took them out to play groups, classes outings, park every day, but they also had lots of time to just potter about and play in her house which felt like a second home to them. Best of both worlds for us

My DS does 2 days at nursery and has been there since 9 months old. The advantages are the nursery never takes holiday, and my DS who is nearly 4 has a lovely group of friends. He is also learning phonics and basic maths.

Our little DD (14 months) does 2 days in nursery 7-7 and absolutely loves it! She loves watching the older children and seems to be learning so much from them.
We could easily afford a nanny, but she seems to get so much from being with other children and loves all of the helpers. I'm sure it doesn't work for everyone, but it certainly does for us.

We went for a nanny as both DH and I work 5 (long) days, although I do work from home on the odd day. It’s expensive, but has been absolutely worth it for us for both the flexibility and the lovely bond my DD has with her nanny. Also means that we’re sorted for when DC2 arrives next year.

That said I think it’s about finding a place/person you’re totally comfortable with. I know so many friends who have switched around nanny/childminder/nursery options during the first year back at work, as their children change and have different needs or places turn out to not be quite right etc.

Yanbu at all if you can afford it
Make sure you get one you’re completely happy with, is least likely to end up looking bored in a park somewhere
I’d had the energy to do it

Ie not I’d

You also need to factor in what happens if the nanny is sick - this isn't an issue with a nursery as they have a full team of staff, but with a nanny, or childminder, you need to have back up arrangements for the nanny or childminder calling in sick. Most likely on a day when you have a crucial meeting. I've used both nurseries and childminders, and was constantly on tenterhooks about the childminder being ill - she used to take several days each year and it was a logistical disaster. A combination of nanny and nursery would give you the option to buy extra days at nursery in that scenario.

We started with nursery and swapped to nanny.

With a nanny, the baby didn't have to be ready when she arrived, we never had to pack a nursery bag and in fact some mornings, I handed over and then went to put on my makeup and work clothes if we had had a late start, a rough night or a clingy morning.

I saved around 30 minutes in the morning and in the evening by handing over at my house rather than dropping off and picking up at nursery. Picking up a tired baby at 6pm often lead to quite a hideous drive home and fractious evening whereas arriving home to a tired baby who was often fed, washed and in his pj's was much nicer all round.

This was crucial.. leaving the house at 7:45 meant I could be at my desk by 8:30 and I could leave the office at 5:45 and be home by 6:30. In the nursery scenario I was rushing in at 9 and flying out the door at 5:15 and constantly stressed.

When DS was ill, the nanny looked after him and I didn't spend the day anxious that the phone would ring. Also she handled his illnesses like I would have done, not requiring GP prescriptions for over the counter medicines for example plus the huge bonus was that he was poorly less often when not at nursery. His routine was adhered to in a way nursery promised but never quite managed.

He had loads of friends, time in the park and lots of time at home. Our nanny was a competant lady and adhered to his strict allergy diet in a way that nursery were not able to and dealt with his washable nappies without a grumble and at times, took him to appointments that did not require me to be there.

The downsides are the costs, nanny salary including tax, extra food costs, activities and we probably spent more on toys and craft at home but she was great at doing good this too.

It changed our lives for the better but the cost impact was significant. 70 per day for nursery compared to 150 for a nanny. We split drop offs and pick ups between DH and I so each of us could stay late two days a week and I worked three hours from home on Fridays which both the nanny and work agreed to.

what's wrong with nurseries?! mine has been since he was nine months old. Why don't you do a mix of nursery and childminder?

I think it depends on your child. My son is very extroverted and genuinely really enjoyed the social side of nursery from the age of 1. But I do think a lot of kids would be happier with a nanny until 2.

Most of my Nanny friends look after 2 children from different families, so works out about the same price as a nursery but the ratio is 1:2 and they alternate between the two children's houses. Something to think about if you have any friends who also need childcare.

I would definitely use a nanny for under 2s. Once 2, nursery is great - the socialisation, learning social skills, sharing etc. Under 2, nursery does nothing for the child except provide childcare for the parent. Young babies need 1:1 care and attention. I've worked in too many baby rooms to recommend nurseries for babies if there is another option. Ratios are 1:3 - the nursery worker only has two hands, and if all are crying some get left to deal with it. There's also a common view in nursery of leaving babies to cry (when they're crying all day from missing mum,new environment etc) as they 'need to learn'. Oh, and they lie about the child not crying when you go

It isn't a terrible option and is fine for childcare. But for under 2s, if you have the option, i would get a nanny