AIBU to hire a nanny instead of nursery?

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Hi all, I had planned to send my PFB to nursery aged 1. He will most likely do four long days (8-6) as we both work in London, have commutes etc. I will ask for 3 days in the office and one at home, but may not get it. The more I read about the research into nurseries the more I think perhaps it isn't the right option for my baby when he's so young? What are your experiences of hiring a nanny? Obviously I know nannies are a more expensive option (especially for one baby). If it helps for context nursery is expensive where I live, about £70 per day. We don't have any family nearby so nobody to help with childcare on a regular basis or provide emergency childcare. I would be very grateful for any advice / experiences as this is all new to me and I feel very unsure. Stopping work isn't an option for financially.

I would absolutely use a nanny if I could have afforded it for a child that age. That said, I love our childminder, the dc have a brilliant band with her and I am very happy with the more homely care she gives them.

Personally, I think a combination allows you to benefit from the best of both worlds. Nursery has the interaction and more formalised learning, which is great. Also, you don't have to worry if someone is sick as they deal with that. They can also sometimes take your child for emergency additional sessions which can be useful if you have to change your work days or go away etc.

Nannies have the benefit of personal care, the option to take the child to events and activities that are tailored for him/her and the knowledge that if the child is sick you still have cover. Depending on your nanny's hours, she may also be able to cover for nursery days in an emergency - but that varies massively. I also think the benefit to having a nanny is in your home generally if you work long hours - she can be responsible for the DC washing/ bedroom tidying/ food preparation etc, which takes a huge load off you. With nursery, you're rushing home at 6, but often still need to prepare a snack, get DC bathed and into bed etc. A nanny will have your DC fed, bathed and in PJs (if that's' what you want), and the kitchen tidied up before you get home at 6.

For all the above reasons, if I was picking just one, I'd go for a nanny if cost was no object. Even the socialisation thing isn't that big a deal because a good nanny working full time or almost full time will be ensuring your child is at regular groups and other activities where he can meet friends and interact with other children. Our nanny had a regular play date set up with a friend of hers whose charge was the same age and DD and Friend became quite close.

Under two I’d keep it simple with the same routine, one person if possible

Nanny share is a very good way to go

**You also need to factor in what happens if the nanny is sick - this isn't an issue with a nursery as they have a full team of staff, but with a nanny, or childminder, you need to have back up arrangements for the nanny or childminder calling in sick. Most likely on a day when you have a crucial meeting. I've used both nurseries and childminders, and was constantly on tenterhooks about the childminder being ill - she used to take several days each year and it was a logistical disaster.

^ on the flip side to this though, nannies will usually look after your children when they are sick, whereas nursery aren’t able to care for sick children. I have worked as an emergency nanny and most of my work came from children who were not well enough to be in nursery (chicken pox, d&v the day before etc) so I wouldn’t necessarily let that be the deciding factor!

A nanny can be amazing if you can afford it.
You get to decide activities, food, nap schedule etc.
They go to appointments for the DC (gp, dentist...), do any shopping needed for them, laundry...
A nanny will look after a sick child when a nursery wouldn’t. From experience nannies very rarely take time off for sickness, they might do a quiet day if they are feeling under the weather, plus if they have to be off they usually have a network of nanny friends that they can recommend to cover for them.

My nanny never took a day off, ultra reliable
I realise I was lucky but it made working so much less stressful
She picked up everything - hw (older dc) / bath / food just stopped so much stress and that was before factoring in a nursery run

I would have opted for a nanny if it had been affordable for us, for all of the positives already outlined. As it was, this was not an option for us and we viewed nurseries and met childminders.

We chose a lovely childminder for our gentle first born DS and he thrived with her. Our DD was a very different character and it became clear that she and the childminder did not particularly gel. As DS was three by this point, we revisited nurseries and moved both children to a lovely nursery where they were both very happy.

It depends on so many factors including your child's personality and the right fit so I would explore all options thoroughly - but I would go for a nanny if this is an option.

Both our children have had nannies. It's been perfect. The nannies also do housework as and when they can - obviously having more time as the children grow up and go to school.

They always went to a nursery too. The social element's important.

There's been extensive research on whether or not children need socialisation at a young age. They don't. In my opinion (and I researched this a lot at university) children do not get many benefits from nursery before 3. They don't need it. It is a great resource for parents who require childcare, but if money allows, a nanny would be a better option. I am a nanny now and although it's sad leaving the kids and also puts us out of a job, I do encourage that children go to nursery/pre school at 3. At that age they start playing with each other and learn social skills in preparation for school. This is not to say that nurseries are bad at all. But everyone always badgers on about children not socialising but it simply isn't true. We do plenty of music groups, toddler classes, and trips out to farms, zoos, swimming etc.. and real world experiences like popping to buy bread and milk, posting letters for parents, going on the bus, heading to the park. Kids learn to be social through all of these real life experiences. They don't need to be playing next to another child at nursery to learn how to play and talk. I massively encourage learning to share. They share with me? Or our friends?

It's true that a nanny might be sick one day but in my experience, nannies are very aware that by taking a day off sick it means you will have to as well, so we tend to work through most things. I can't remember the last time I had a day off! Id say a child would likely be off more from nursery due to illness than if a nanny was ill. 48 hour rules at nurseries which should be adhered to. Nannies will look after sick children.

There are pros and cons to both just with everything in life. The main thing I can think with a nanny is that it IS expensive. A nanny share would be a good option. This has worked well for us.

Really what PPs have said. We have a nanny and the major advantages are not having the “dead time” of the nursery commute, keeping the baby in their own environment at home and not having to worry about child getting sick. Plus ofc the 121 care element.

But it is massively more expensive than nursery. So there’s that.

Have a look into the costs of a good nanny - for us it was about 2.8 times nursery fees (salary + ni etc plus paying somebody to do all the paperwork + kitty for activities). for us it was not really doable (my childminders are a couple with teenage children, so we don’t have the “childminder sick “ problem as such)

Thanks for your replies. I am going to look into childminder and nanny share. So much to consider!

We do a mix - nursery half the week, and a family member the other half. Originally it was 3 days at home and 2 at nursery but we quickly switched to 3 at nursery as he loved it so much!

For us, we wanted DS to be well socialised as we don’t plan to have more, and he thrives on the company and the variety of activities.

Some things which were deciding factors for us - our nursery is outstanding and only 5 mins walk from our house, so there’s no car journey to factor in. The cost of ballet, art and music classes, which are part of his nursery package, on top would be prohibitive if DS was with a nanny.