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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To get a dog if I work full time?

94 replies

Elizabethhh · 11/12/2018 18:03

DH and I would absolutely love a dog but we both work full time which is the only thing stopping us. The dog would be left at home from around 9-3 as that’s when DDs get home from school and DH gets home at around 4-5. DH would be able to go and see the dog from around 12-1 a couple times a week. Even though we would love a dog, we don’t want to bring one into a home where it will be miserable and won’t have a happy life and that comes before our wants

OP posts:

PinkFlamingo888 · 11/12/2018 20:47

According to MN logic you need to be a millionaire or homeless to own a dog. I just don’t understand how it’s financially viable for so many people on here to work part time/ not work (obviously there are lots of stay at home mums being mumsnet but it just isn’t the reality for everyone).
Our dog is 12 weeks old and stays home alone while we work full time. We do shift work so it isn’t always a full 8 hour day but sometimes it is when our shifts align like that. On those days someone does come in to let him out and give him lunch. This has been his routine pretty much since day one. He is toilet trained, crate trained, sleeps through the night and can do lots of commands. He is definitely not perfect but he is happy and a hell of a lot happier than he would be in a shelter. If you want a dog, you can have a dog. I’d look into breed types as some are better at being left. Just don’t fall for the small dogs are easy mentality. Ours is a German Shepherd and I honestly believe his guarding instinct makes it easier for him to be left alone as he has his ‘job’ to do.

Meadowland · 11/12/2018 20:49

Well said straightjeans. Couldn't agree more. The dogs at the rescue shelter where I do volunteer dog walking, would, I am sure, much prefer a home where they are with company at least in the morning , evening and at weekends, rather than in a cage 24/7.

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 11/12/2018 20:50

I'm a sahm but still feel guilty if I have to leave my 4lb Chihuhua alone for longer than 2 hours.He hates going on walks but loves company so I'm in as often as possible

PinkFlamingo888 · 11/12/2018 20:50

Also, what I learnt when deciding whether getting a dog was an option for us was not to look online for the answer! Everyone online is the perfect pet parent and will make you feel awful for even considering being so cruel! Take a look at people you know, friends with dogs, dogs you knew growing up, colleagues with dogs etc. When we looked into it I found that the percentage of people who work full time with dogs in real life is way way higher than those online!

poorbuthappy · 11/12/2018 20:51

Fucking hell. My 15 year old collie must have had shit life sleeping on the sofa and being walked twice a day when she was capable.

Ivegotthree · 11/12/2018 20:52

Were in the same circumstance aren't getting a dog, much as we want one, as I don't think it's kind.

Ivegotthree · 11/12/2018 20:53

Sorry rushed typing

*we're

*about

Wolfiefan · 11/12/2018 20:53

You can work full time and have a dog.
BUT you need to budget for daycare or a walker. You can’t leave a dog for hours and hours without a chance to toilet outside.
And a puppy? What happens if you get one and find it can’t be left. Mine couldn’t. For months.
Now she’s older and sleeps most of the day but she still would be unhappy at being left for more than a couple of hours a day.
All dogs are different.

BiteyShark · 11/12/2018 20:53

Meadowland but would the rescue rehome to someone working full time with no provision for dog care in the day?

I think rescue centres make it so hard to rescue that a lot of people pick puppies instead.

Beamur · 11/12/2018 20:59

We got our previous dog when we were both working full time, DH often took her to work. Current dog has us around a lot more, but is still left for a few hours most days. Dog gets several walks a day, not too long as she's getting on a bit. I ask neighbours to walk her if we're out all day. I reckon you can get an older, chilled out dog that is ok to be left for a bit as long you can pop back at lunchtime or get a walker on long days. Not unreasonable to ask older kids to take their dog out regularly either. I'd agree it's better for a dog to have a less than perfect, but loving and caring home than be in kennels.

Meadowland · 11/12/2018 21:07

Yes Biteyshark a lot of the shelters would probably refuse, and that is where they and I strongly disagree.
I think a home where they are loved , even if owner works full time, beats a concrete cell hands down.

itisitis · 11/12/2018 21:13

I have a dog which is left from 8:30 to 3:30 daily, with no dog walker. I grew up with dogs, such things as doggy daycare/walkers didn't exist then and they were always fine. What I do is make sure we are up early, long walk, lots of fuss before we leave and a kong full of treats to keep him entertained. Then a long walk when we return.

Having said that, we did get him from a rescue centre and his background was an elderly gentleman who rarely walked him. So if it's raining, snowing or even mildly rainy, he won't walk and there's no making him. He literally sits on the floor and refuses to move. I have baby monitors filming him while I'm at work and he sleeps all day under the table, only lifting his head for the postman.

All dogs are different, and if you do get a pup then you'll need to take a long period off work to settle them in. Ours was 6 months when we brought him home and I took 4 weeks off work.

Lichtie · 11/12/2018 21:16

OP of course its doable. It can be tougher if you get a puppy as you would need to take a lot of time off to settle it in and take the holidays separately.

Takes a couple of weeks to house train a puppy if your committed and you start building them up in really short spells to get them used to being alone.

When building the pups alone time up we always do it seperate from our other dogs. We keep an eye on a dog cam to make sure they are coping.

It's easier when you have other dogs, but we've done it with no other dogs before.

I'll get shot down for saying it but dogs that have anxiety from being alone is usually because of poor training at an early stage.

Original poster

Elizabethhh · 12/12/2018 07:20

We could get a dog walker for the days that DH can’t manage a trip home at lunch time. He can also take them in for one day a week at work

OP posts:

BiteyShark · 12/12/2018 08:28

If you can manage the cost of walkers or daycare then that is one of the biggest barrier to having a dog and working full time I think. You do see a lot of threads where people work but don't or won't pay for care but then want to get rid of the dog because they are bored or destructive.

Other things to consider is the age of the dog. If you go down the puppy route you are going to have to take time off for toilet training and getting them used to being left. I took a month at home and by that time he could be left up to 3 hours.

Other things to consider when working full time is how you would manage walks before or after work, training, feeding, grooming etc. It doesn't sound a lot but I find I have to juggle all those things along with all the other chores when I get home or at weekends. The benefits of having a dog are great but it can be exhausting at times in top of a full time job.

Greyhound22 · 12/12/2018 09:08

I volunteer for dog charities and actually some dogs would be absolutely fine left for 6 hours.

But you have to choose the right breed - and that's where the problem lies. My greyhound is quite happy snoozing that long but people go and get springer spaniel puppies and poodle crosses and expect them to be ok 7.30am to 6pm. I mainly work from home but I personally have a rule that if I am going to be more than 5 hours the dog walker comes in. She charges £7 for a half hour walk which is plenty for my boy.

Hundreds of dogs are rotting in concrete cells and being pts because shelters won't rehome to anyone who works.

Most dogs would rather lie on a cosy bed for 5/6 hours on their own than in a kennel on newspaper.

If you spend quality time with them outside those 6 hours they will be fine. I know people who don't work who shut the dog in the kitchen all day and treat it as an annoyance. Those are the ones I feel sorry for.

If you want any info on retired greyhounds please PM me.

adaline · 12/12/2018 09:31

I actually think some dogs can be left longer than the recommended four hours, especially older dogs who get a good walk beforehand. I don't necessarily agree with the blanket four hour rule that the RSPCA and other rescues have.

However there's no way I would leave a puppy for longer than an hour or so, especially in the early days. Puppies need the toilet a LOT when they're awake, they also need company, routine and training. Ours is 10 months old and we pay for daycare on the days we both work (3 days x week) because I really don't think it's fair to leave him alone for 8+ hours a day. However, if he was older and calmer I would probably consider it, with a dog walker coming in to break the day up a bit.

However, puppies can't be walked for long so a dog-walker won't really work. I mean, you can get one but the dog can probably only be out for 20 minutes twice a day so it won't really mean it's left alone any less. What are you going to do about toilet training? Mine needed letting out every 20-30 minutes for the first few weeks and wasn't reliably toilet trained until 5 months old.

caesio · 12/12/2018 09:37

Good practice for getting a dog is for an adult in your household to go out walking twice a day for an hour in the cold and the dark and the mud no matter how tired or busy you are. Do for at least a week.

Love my dog to bits but I wouldn't have wanted the commitment when I was working fulltime with commute/kids etc.

Deadbudgie · 12/12/2018 09:38

We both work but have someone come in twice a day. However DH usually overlaps with one of the vosits as he wfh a lot. D dog seems very happy and would never be alone more than 3hours (during which time she’s usually asleep)

NicoAndTheNiners · 12/12/2018 09:42

I work full time and have a dog. I do use a dog walker.

I feel guilty. I was pt when I got the dog and never thought I'd work pt but my dream job came up.

Dog seems ok. Somedays I work from home. Dd is normally home before 4pm.

NotScrewingUpNow · 12/12/2018 09:45

If you could walk the dog really early before work and straight away when you get back then I think that's ok. As long as you leave some toys out or put the TV the dog should be fine.

Babyroobs · 12/12/2018 09:46

We have 2 dogs, an elder one and an eighteen month old. with 3 teenagers in the house doing different sixth form and college times they aren't currently left alone much but after Christmas I have a full time job lined up and may need to re-think things although the job is home based. Currently on the one day that there is no-one home form 9-3 my older dog goes to Grandads house and mu younger one is home alone with a dog sitter who comes in to take him for a short walk and plays with him for half an hour. I feel bad that this is not enough and every time I get home on that day he has done something destructive. I will need to re-think things depending how my new job pans out.

Adversecamber22 · 12/12/2018 10:04

We wanted a dog but both worked FT so we got a cat , she now rules the house and we feel like her staff. I stopped working a few months after we got her so am around a lot, she shouts at both DH and I whenever we return from being out of the house.

Consider a cat if you want to be the pet.

PengAly · 12/12/2018 12:51

I agree @straightjeans I hate the "perfect pet parent" attitude mumsnet gives off. Of course its not cruel to work full time and have a dog! A dog is MUCH BETTER off in a happy home where the owners work full time than on the concrete floor of a depressing kennel. you just need to be fully devoted when you are with the dog

Wolfiefan · 12/12/2018 14:08

But you can’t leave a dog all day without even the chance to go out and pee. That’s unfair.
And how many full time workers can and do fully devote their time to their dog when not at work?

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