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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To get a dog if I work full time?

94 replies

Elizabethhh · 11/12/2018 18:03

DH and I would absolutely love a dog but we both work full time which is the only thing stopping us. The dog would be left at home from around 9-3 as that’s when DDs get home from school and DH gets home at around 4-5. DH would be able to go and see the dog from around 12-1 a couple times a week. Even though we would love a dog, we don’t want to bring one into a home where it will be miserable and won’t have a happy life and that comes before our wants

OP posts:

Shamalamalam · 11/12/2018 18:36

Just to add, DH and I used to take dog into work with us, but as he’s got older he’s a bit arthritic and had a hard time with the concrete/hard floors at work so for the last year or so he’s stayed home.

The kids tend to stay downstairs with him and mooch on the TV or do homework at the kitchen table

adaline · 11/12/2018 18:37

No problem if you're willing to pay for doggy daycare. You can't leave them home alone for six hours a day though!

79andnotout · 11/12/2018 18:38

Also, I should add, we do pay for a dog walker to come round twice a week but 95% of the time our dog refuses to go outside (doesn't like the cold/rain/wind/can't be bothered) so our dog walker sits with her listening to an audio book and giving her cuddles instead. They are lazy dogs.

JuneFromBethesda · 11/12/2018 18:47

I am at home with our dog and most of the morning she ignores me and sleeps on the couch

Likewise

I still feel guilty if I go out and leave her for a few hours though (this is rare - I work from home 95% of the time).

It's not just about exercise, dogs are pack animals and need company. Personally I think even a dog walker isn't enough. I hate the thought of a dog regularly being on its own for more than a couple of hours.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 11/12/2018 18:47

We work and have a dog-but- dh works compressed hours, so is out at work 3 days, I work Monday to Friday and home by 4.30. If that was it we wouldn't have her, but ds works nights, and will get up twice in the day when we aren't in. Even then ds1 lives 5 minutes away and brings his dog up for visits and walks if absolutely no one is in. In your circumstances, no way.

SilverySurfer · 11/12/2018 19:00

You are very sensible to question if it would be feasible or not. Dogs need company and although there may be a few dogs who are ok being left for six hours, they would be the exception rather than the norm.

user1466783975 · 11/12/2018 19:11

my 18month old terrier sleeps from 8.30am to 2pm every day. The one day a week where I work full time I have a neighbour who pops in and walks her. There are always ways and means if you really want a dog

BlueJava · 11/12/2018 19:16

We (DP, 2 DS and me) would love a dog - but it's just not fair as we work full time. We have a dog we found on borrowmydoggy.com and we've walked her every Sunday for around 3 years now. So maybe you could try looking at borrowing?

TinaTurnipp · 11/12/2018 19:16

I think you should be willing to pay for daycare or at least a dog walker if you did.

You shouldn't just get a dog because you want one. You should get one because you want one and you can offer it a good life.

I wouldn't have considered it if OH wasn't able to take him to work with him. He's a friendly little soul so wouldn't have enjoyed spending such long hours alone.

Viebienremplie · 11/12/2018 19:46

We have a dog and work full time. Ours is left 8.30-3.30 however, we have a dog walker daily who takes her for a long walk with her dog pals and then back to daycare for an hour of play so out 2.5hrs. Also our Aupair is here most of the time and lets her out to wee/replenishes water bowl and is on hand if there's an issue before and after dog walkers take her.

We also both work from home 1-2 days a week each so usually one of us is here all the time, but I've learned it's hard to run a conference call when you have a puppy going mad at your feet so we still do daycare those days.

In short, at the very least you need to budget a dog walker that has the dog at least 2 hours in the middle of the day.

busybarbara · 11/12/2018 19:48

It's a dog not a baby. People leave pets alone all the time without it being cruel. If you're worried about it getting lonely then get two.

TinaTurnipp · 11/12/2018 19:56

busybarbara they are still living creatures. Just because they aren't human children doesn't mean it's okay.

Its hardly new information that it is not recommended to have a dog if you are out all day and unable to get a dog walker or other alternative in place.

busybarbara · 11/12/2018 20:02

I've always left my cats home all day and they're fine and actually seem to enjoy napping all day

ohnofootballagain · 11/12/2018 20:05

I'm going to go against everyone else and say it depends how committed you are.

I have always had dogs since I left home with my 2 dogs. I also have worked full time for many years, part time and home based. And throughout pregnancy, kids etc and working I have had 2 or 3 dogs.

However, I always walk them early before work, and they have a room with a dog flap so access to the garden all day. During the day they settle and sleep. Doggy day care is a relatively new thing and if a day is really long or you are unable to walk first thing it can be good but I don't think is always necessary. If I had a long work day I occasionally used a dog walker midday. I also train them when I get home so challenge them mentally/physically.

So it can be done but you need to be really really committed.

TinaTurnipp · 11/12/2018 20:06

busybarbara cats are not the same as dogs at all.

BiteyShark · 11/12/2018 20:14

busybarbara cats are a completely different animal to dogs. They either go out or have a litter tray to toilet in.

Whilst some dogs tolerate being left alone all day lots won't. Those that won't will either toilet in the house because they have no choice or may be destructive or noisey due to boredom. And then you end up with a dog that the family doesn't want and gets rid of them (usually because they don't want to pay for dog walkers or day care).

DannyWallace · 11/12/2018 20:14

My dog occasionally has to be left between similar hours.
However....
We got her as a puppy and she definitely couldn't have been left that long when she was young. Luckily I wasn't working at first then only did short shifts for the next 2 years.

When she's left for that long she is taken for a long walk (at least an hour) in the morning to tire her out.
She gets someone in during the day for at least an hour.
She gets in the garden straight away when we get home, and then another long walk in the evening. Plus, if she's been left we NEVER leave her alone again later on in the day (so no socialising after work).

When me or DH are off our plans usually revolve around her too. We are outdoorsy and she is often up mountains with us.

We are quite strict, but I couldn't be without her ❤️

SenoraSurf · 11/12/2018 20:20

We have a dog and we are often away 8.30 till 4pm. We have a Maltese terrier, a small breed, she is an incredible happy dog and I don't think we are cruel in the slightest, all she does is sleep during the day and occasionally plays with her toys (we set up a camera to keep an eye on her).
She has so much fun in the evenings and on weekends that she's shattered during the week and even sleeps all day if either of us are home during the week for whatever reason.

Pick your breed carefully and you'll be fine. Surely it's just as crap for a dog to be bored all day getting no attention/walks/adventures but having a person sat around makes it ok?

BiteyShark · 11/12/2018 20:25

Surely it's just as crap for a dog to be bored all day getting no attention/walks/adventures but having a person sat around makes it ok?

Not sure who is suggesting that. When I work from home, the breaks I would take at work to grab a coffee are instead spent interacting with him. Walks with dog walkers and at daycare are shattering for dogs as they get to play with their doggy friends (I have to feed mine a lot more on those days as he burns through the calories).

The problem is OP won't know how well a dog will tolerate those times until they have the dog. They therefore need to be prepared to pay for walker/daycare if they find the dog cannot cope with that length of time.

Meadowland · 11/12/2018 20:25

If you really love dogs, but can't have one, why not volunteer as a dog walker at a rescue centre when you are not working. I do, and love it. The dogs are desperate for human company and love to be walked.

DoYouLikeHueyLewisandTheNews · 11/12/2018 20:30

Dogs, particularly some breeds, are content sleeping all day because their owner/s is nearby. We desperately wanted a dog when both FT but waited. Even now the days we both work he goes to my parents for cuddles and a long walk. It adds over an hour a working day to our commutes but dogs are a part of the family, they have to be factored in and their needs and comfort, in my personal opinion not just the bare minimum, met.

If you can get a dog walker, go home at lunch or have a doggy day care then YANBU. YABU if not.

straightjeans · 11/12/2018 20:34

If you wait for the perfect time you will be old and retired. This is why thousands of dogs rot in shelters. Because apparently it's preferable for dogs to rot in concrete cells, rather than be with someone who works full time.

TinaTurnipp · 11/12/2018 20:41

I think it does make a difference to a lot of dogs simply having their owners there.

Obviously it is important to walk/exercise and interact with them too but lots of dogs would be far more content sleeping/sitting in with their owners around than alone.

Orlande · 11/12/2018 20:45

It wouldn't really work with a puppy, but could be OK for an adult dog with a dog walker/daycare.

Frankenterfer · 11/12/2018 20:45

I have not rtft but please, don't get a dog in your circumstances. We did it, thinking we could make it work for us and the dog, but no matter how much we juggled work, lunch breaks, home working, daily lunch time walk with other dogs and dog walker etc the poor dog was still left for periods of time and she really suffered. Ultimately we rehomed her through a reputable charity and she has a family and other dogs to keep her company. It was a heartbreaking situation all round.

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