Ways in which the poor are penalised.

[malificent7]

Dd loves her music but paying for lessons can be a struggle. Studen single mum. I do my best but i am sometimes late with payments . I have totally settled up and dont owe any more.
However as i was late with another payment dd is not allowed to go to thr last lesson of term. I have paid for this lesson however and im not allowed a refund for it. Its £10 worth which for someone like me could get food for Christmas or pay a bill.
Apparently she cant go as its not fair on parents who pay on time.

I don't agree with the teacher taking the money but it must be massively frustrating to not be paid, have to chase money and always be behind in how much you are owed. She must be sick of it. If she is a good music teacher then she will have a waiting list so it is no drama to her if you leave.

My DC have a drama lesson and we have to pay it well in advance. If we didn't my DS wouldn't keep his place. That's fair enough in my book.

My ‘favourite’ way those in a low income are penalised is when you get a parking fine. If you pay within 2 weeks it’s half the cost. So if you have to wait til payday, £50, if you can afford to pay now, only £25.

I think you've had some harsh replies here. Yes you should pay for lessons on time but the point isn't the lessons the point is poverty is shit and poorer kids are disadvantaged when their parents can't afford to pay for swimming lessons and music lessons and a sport which a lot of people take for granted. It's not anybodies fault but it is still shit always having to say no there's no money for that to your kids.

How often have you paid late and how late is Late?

I do get it though, I have had many conversations like this with my DH.

The one that got me the most was the convo I had with my vet when I got a puppy. I was unsure whether to get pet insurance or not as my DH says it is a scam. She asked me this question "if your dog breaks his leg, can you afford the £500 to pay for the vet bills? If the answer if yes, then you don't need insurance. If no, you need it". So basically, you cannot afford to have a pet if you are poor because you will need to pay the £30-40 a month insurance to have one. I've had a dog for 4 years now and aside from injections, have never had to use the vet. So, I've saved £2K by not buying pet insurance whereas someone on a much lower income had to scrape by to cover having a pet.

Same goes with having the cash to buy something outright versus having to take out a loan to get something if you are on a low income.

Just a reminder...i know im being unteasonable...glad i got it off my chest! I could see her side too you know.

Insurance for my cat is under a fiver a month. Dog insurance was about seven. So I dunno where 30/40 is coming from.

The thing is malificent7 that you may have just got the rough end of her stick. I actually think the worst offenders for paying late are those with loads of money who generally tend to hold on to every penny within a tight fist. I often think my drama teacher is rude and curt regarding payment but after many years of doing it I think she is just sick of chasing money.

I was talking to someone the other day whose 2DC go to a private school. I know he's loaded and he was telling me that he never pays until he is threatened to do so legally. Pure class!

Is there any way you can have a chat with her. I'd like to think that if I knew one of my parents was struggling I would cut them a bit of slack or come to some agreement as to how things are paid.

Im just going to leave it and pay on time...i think i can scrape it...i was just a bit gutted that dd had to miss out for my incompetance so will make sure it dosnt happen again..

I agree OP that poor kids should have music lessons too. Music is very badly funded by the government, which is a tragedy, in my opinion. I think it is great that you keep paying for music when you are clearly living on a shoestring at the moment; for so many families, music would be the first thing to go.

Have you talked to the teacher directly? I don't know if this is through a school, or if it your daughter is having private lessons. There is a world of difference to a teacher between a child who loves lessons, practises every week, and occasionally struggles to pay, and a family who don't take lessons very seriously and frequently don't bother to pay on time.

Have you talked to the teacher directly? I don't know if this is through a school, or if it your daughter is having private lessons. There is a world of difference to a teacher between a child who loves lessons, practises every week, and occasionally struggles to pay, and a family who don't take lessons very seriously and frequently don't bother to pay on time.

This

I have occasionally tried to help when enthusiastic practisers have been struggling due to funds, ie offer 20 minutes instead of 30 at a significantly (more than 10 mins worth) reduced amount. Or squished 2 siblings into a 30 minute slot trying to do a joint lesson which isn't easy on a piano when they're at vastly different levels.

To add to my previous post..
I am a music teacher, and I would never turn away a student who was eager for a lesson and had practised. The relationship between a child and a private music teacher is quite personal and can be very significant to the child, and I would not risk damaging that.

@malificent7 do you have lessons through school/at school? If so you maybe able to get help with the cost. I work at a school and deal with the music invoices. Anyone entitled to Free School Meals gets remission on music fees in our area - they only have to pay a £10 per half term "committment" fee - all other fees are paid by the council.

Some families do not qualify for the full remission - but do qualify for 50% remission - thus they pay c £55 for a term of lessons rather than £110 (rough prices).

It maybe worth discussing this with your school - or your local county-wide "Music Service" - who are the people who provide lessons through schools - eg it might be "Bucks Music Service" "Northants Music Service" "Yorkshire Music Service"

The government is rightly trying to "narrow the gap". Music lessons have been proven to be beneficial for education (learning the benefits of practicing, pattern recognition etc etc) so everyone has the right to access them. It should not be considered a "luxury".

My heart is about to break. So many penalised childrdn. Is it their fault their parents can't/won't pay?

So what do you think the answer is? Should dance/music/sport teachers just teach for free? Never mind if they lose their home or can't afford to feed their own children, that's not important. What is obviously important is the OP (who doesn't sound poor, just shit with money) gets to send her DS to music and dance.

This has nothing to do with being poor. All kinds of people pay late and it’s a real pain. We are constantly finding ourselves in the red because my husbands clients are paying late or demanding payment plans at the last minute or outrightnot paying. Consequently if they don’t pay on time he doesn’t do the work. He doesn’t care whether they are poor or not.

I do feel for you, OP, but surely you anticipated some difficulty when you decided to become a student as a parent?

I'd talk to the teacher, too, and explain your predicament. Perhaps s/he'll give you a discount until you're back at work.

What this really is, is a lack of respect.

People would never consider not paying the grocery store for their food, but they see other service providers such as music and dance as 'non essential' and not worthy of the respect of paying them on time. It's pretty simple, if you think something like music and dance is so vital for your child that they can't miss out, then you need to pay on time.

*If you can afford for her to do music AND dance lessons, you need to pay for them on time. And if you can’t afford to be a student, get a job.

Sorry but I have been a student single parent and I had to work to supplement my income. And I couldn’t afford dance and music lessons.

You clearly aren’t poor if you are paying for both of those. And anyone who thinks poverty is if you can’t give your kids stuff they love needs to away and give their head a wobble. Poverty is can’t afford to heat the house and not a penny left until pay day. And not dance and music lessons.*

^^ this

I am on tax credits, work full time, I can’t afford music lessons or dance lessons for my kids. Really really wish I could but I can’t.

I think sometimes people forget that things which are hobbies or fun for them, beit music lessons or a trip to the hairdressers, are still someone’s job and how that person pays their bills and makes sure their children can take part in activities!

I can’t afford music lessons or dance lessons for my kids

How do you keep your children entertained then? When you have a single child, in my opinion, it is a lot harder to keep them entertained, whereas classes are only for one child.

Personally I found that when I didn't take my child to afterschool classes I actually spent more.

We all have a different idea of what poverty is, but there is poverty and extreme poverty. Unfortunately I think there is now such a lot of extreme poverty in the UK, so just being poor doesn't cut it.

Well, if the OP has one child she can play with her and amuse her. She doesn't have to sign up to lessons she can't afford to pay for on time.

Seriously the fact that the Op thinks that this is "penalising the poor" is a bloody joke. If you're poor, your kids wouldn't be at dance and music because you wouldn't be able to afford it already.

So only rich kids should be able to access music lessons even if they have a talent? that is what is wrong with today's society. Kids should be nurtured and encouraged to be the best they can. Music lessons were free when I was at school back in the day.

If you want your kids to do music lessons and dance lessons then you need to make decisions. And deciding to jack your job in and go to uni and rely on student loan and benefits is going to be less money than working full time (one would expect) and if that is the case then dance and music lessons might not be affordable.

That's what I would expect to work out when I was deciding if I could afford to jack my job in and go to uni. (and did - I couldn't afford to live on benefits plus student loan so I worked part time in a shop to supplement my income whilst at uni)

I’m a private piano teacher. I got mucked around by so many parents not paying me/not turning up for lesson regularly/generally acting entitled (been doing this pt for ten years and the shift in attitudes from parents in that time is startling.... ) so I get where your teacher was coming from however I am inclined to agree with op about your teacher being unable to do this unless it’s in their t&c, something I now have in place!

I still have people sign a contract saying they pay in advance and lose their money if they don’t turn up saying I’m entitled to it. You’re not. It’s a very frustrating part of the job.
I have happily sent students off to another teacher when I feel the parents are massively wasting my time and a slot that would definitely be filled by someone who did pay me. I too have bills to pay!

If you are in need I would definitely ask the school what help they have on offer though, the LA used to allow some dc less well off a scheme where they could get heavily subsidised music lessons.

You aren't being penalised for being poor. The reality is you are not able to support regular music lessons financially & they've had enough. Can you have less frequent lessons or get a part time job cleaning/ironing/dog walking that would pay for it & not impact your studies? (taskrabbit.com is good for those jobs, I study & work around it).