To lie to a rescue to get a dog?

[ShitOnItx]

I visited my local rescue alone and was given lots of time and attention. Told them I had children a nd was told to bring them in as they can't rehome any dog without meeting the kids at the rescue first.

When I took my kids they totally blanked me and told me no dogs were available to kids (youngest is 8) and were very dismissive.

I also have to being my dog but she is a nervous dog and I know the last place to make a calm, happy introduction is at a place full of barking dogs and smells.

A dog has gone onto their siteand she is perfect. An older spaniel dog, calm, says she is so laid back with other dogs and I've fallen in love with her (as much as you can from a photo and description)

I just know if I go back with my kids and my very shy dog who is likely to just try and run away from the noise they wont let me have her.

You can foster. So would IBU to go with my friend and get her to foster the dog but bring her to my house?

My kids are at their dad's this week so she will have time to meet my dog calmly and she will have some time with it just being us before the kids get back.

I feel like they don't give families with kids enough of a chance.

Please don't lie. Rescues put so much time and effort into finding the best match for the dogs. They don't homecheck? Really? Walk away from that rescue because they surely should check you out?

I'm heavily involved with breed specific rescue and we wouldn't consider you for a dog without homechecking you, and if you adopted 5 years ago and want to again, we'd do another home visit. We have a duty of care to both dog and human family. You owe it to your kids to ensure you get the right dog surely?

Oh I told a porky and the dog (who can't be rehomed with kids) keeps growling at my kids. Who gets returned to the shelter? Not the kids. The dog.

What about one of those ones from Romania or Cyprus

You could try Spanish rescue dogs.
Costablancadogrehoming on FB

Fostering is a temporary situation until she finds a home, so I don't see how you think it would help? I agree with the poster who said to speak to the manager - email if you think you'd be more coherent. Tell the truth and put your case forward.

christmastreeforest has pretty well summed up all that for me is wrong(daft?) about the ethos of rescue centres and their stance on the age of children. It just isnt a one size fits all.

Maybe they thought your children were unsuitable, if they were excited it could have been off putting.

I was looking at dogs yesterday at the local rescue, and 4 children were screaming and shouting all the way along the rows of dogs, setting them all off barking. Something like that would do it for me because many of the dogs have come from bad situations and need not to be shouted at. One poor little sod crapped herself because of it (dog not child).

Go to another rescue where they do proper checks, and are able to match the dog to the family and home, the one you went to doesn't sound very careful.

Yabvvu, rescues have stringent checks for a reason, these dogs often have been neglected or abused, and need a stable and quiet environment, as they may be nervous. You are doing the dog no favours by lying. They will know the dog and what environment is best, you don't sound like you care, you just want a dog whatever. Look at other rescues to see if there are ones that are fine with kids.

I couldn’t rehome either as we hav kids and they kept telling me none were suitable . Ended up buying a puppy in the end. Which is sad as we could have offered a home to a dog that needed it but they just don’t take chances anymore

It’s not about what YOU want. OP. You’re supposed to be thinking about what’s best for the dog and that’s what the rescue centre will want. They will have had experience of people lying to them before and tucking it up for the dog. It’s not like buying a hand bag that you can simply take back and get a refund for.

You already have a nervous dog and I’d wonder what had made her nervous and how you’re addressing her issues. Rather than getting another dog, why not spend the money on a behaviourist to help your current dog?

There are rescues about that will rehome a dog to you if you have children and or other pets.

I'm currently fostering a dog for a small rescue who we would like nothing more than to go to a family with children, he absolutely adores them.

Don't give up but please don't lie to them, if you lied and something was to go drastically wrong, then you could be jeopardising the rescue and potentially all the animals they could go on to save.

Good luck

(I've not given full details of the dog with me as unfortunately he's not too dog friendly and couldn't go with another dog, I also don't want to out myself)

I understand that some rescues have staff/volunteers with crappy attitudes or lack of people skills.

I understand that some have or appear to have very rigid and unhelpful restrictions too.

Mostly, they do this for a good reason, though granted there are rescues who frankly want their heads wobbling too..

Ask yourself these questions.

What will you do if it doesn't work out ?

Do you know how to introduce and integrate two dogs who do not know one another?

Are you willing to call out and comply with a behaviour consultants recommendations - this may cost you around £200 ish (for a couple of visits plus written plan of behaviour modification./training).

Do you fully understand that a rescue dog is likely to: revert to not being housetrained even if they were housetrained before; suffer separation anxiety/hyper attachment disorder/isolation distress; reveal behavioural issues weeks or months down the line as they relax and settle into your home, having previously been shut down

Are you prepared for all that - because it is a lot of work, and friends/neighbours/relatives tend to be far less willing to help and far less understanding when its an adult dog and not a cutesey puppy.

Personally, I would take my time and look for a rescue that uses only foster homes and takes each case on an individual basis.

Irish Retriever Rescue would be a good one to look at if you like retrievers of course - they only foster, they provide EXCELLENT back up and they home dogs according to the dogs needs not their personal preferences - if a dog will suit a family home, thats where the dog goes!

Yes, YABU.

Rescues have reasons for their policies and rules, and having worked in a rescue environment for years, I would be appalled if a potential adopter lied just to get a dog. What if it doesn't work out? You have to think of the consequences of lying.

They are saying no for a reason, and they obviously know the dog better than you. You can't just read a dogs description online and decide he/she is perfect. You have to make sure the dogs get along and that the charity is perfectly happy with the way the dog interacts with your family.

I have seen countless families say 'oh, he/she is perfect for us!' and then the dog is returned for some reason. It's heartbreaking.

There is a reason they are saying no kids with the dogs they have. Do not lie to them. You do not know better than them.

I know someone else who had this problem. Some (not all, I know) rescues seem determined to keep as many dogs as possible from finding good homes! She is the perfect owner, has fostered rescue dogs before in her home town before she moved here, her kids are now teens and she doesnt work so can home all day.

She was still turned down. She said that the women running the place were just interested in getting donations for food etc, and not actually rehoming the dogs as the reasons they gave were ridiculous. She was told she didnt have enough experience of owning dogs, several years of fostering didnt count as enough apparently......

That said, dont lie. Try somewhere else, some rescues are better than others.

I'm really surprised to hear that many rescue centres won't rehome dogs with families, I'd never heard that before.

I went to our local rescue centre with my children five years ago. They were 8 and 5 at the time, but the staff were happy to introduce us to their residents and we met our dog that same day!

I suppose they were careful to only introduce us to dogs who'd be happy with a family, but there was no suggestion that we couldn't adopt because we had fairly young children. I know several families who've adopted from shelters.

Our dog has always loved children of all ages and enjoys playing with them. He likes the attention!

I know so many people who've given up on trying to rescue a dog because of the attitude of the staff at the centres. I don't mean being careful, which is obviously fine, but basically ruling out everyone.

That said, I wouldn't lie about it because you don't know the dog that's there who just needs a loving home from the dog that's there because it showed aggression towards a child.

Also - I don't mean to be mean, but it sounds like homing another dog would be really stressful and traumatic for your existing dog.

And how weird......the rescue I mentioned above is currently on the local newspaper website appealing for adopters as they have so many that need new homes, some have been there for over a year. I am not bloody surprised if their attitude to potential owners is "No to anyone but me".

They may be being unnecessarily obstructive or they may have very valid reasons not to place this dog in a family with children.

Why would you want to take the risk?

my experience with dog rescue centres is that most of the people running them are actually mental. Some of the well established major ones might be better, but a lot of the smaller independent ones are almost hysterical. They put up so many barriers to adoption and then they often still act like the dog is theirs for ages after even if you pass their tests. I personally do not like that much contact with demented animal people. Most people just want to get a dog, and get on with their lives. I mean I know its a big decision, but they can be so extreme that they actually push people to buy puppies just so they dont have to deal with all the bullshit of rescues.

I do wonder if some of these Rescue centres actually want to rehome the dogs at all! I contacted one about rehoming an ex breeding puppy farm dog. I have a quiet dog, same breed. All going well until lady asked me if I had any sort of outdoor shelter for my dog(s). I said yes a very nice kennel near the house. She then refused to consider me as no dog should ever be let out into the garden without its owner as evil dog snatchers are everywhere. I tried to explain but she just ranted on and on. I went onto their site to leave a review and found nearly all other reviewers had been turned down for a variety of spurious reasons.

Yes YABU OP. You sound quite entitled tbh, you've read a few lines about the dog, have never met it and have no idea if it really is a good fit for your home life in reality at all.
I don't feel it's fair to label the rescue centre 'unhelpful' because you didn't get your own way and they didn't agree with you. As others have pointed out, lots of rescues are unwilling to rehome when there are children involved, let alone another nervous dog and this sensible. Acting like they don't know whats good for them and thats why they've got a full kennell, or they should be wanting to bend sensible rules because they are full doesnt account for reality. It doesn't change the fact that it's very hard to judge the behaviour of a rescue dog out of a home environment, when the history is not known. Their priority is firstly the safety of your children, and then the dog, not fulfilling your desire to have another dog with you at home, and that's how it should be.
What is your plan if you acquire a dog by hook or by crook and it doesn't get on with your own 'nervous' dog? Is this fair on your own dog? You seem to be relying on the 'new' dog being perfect so it won't cause any issues in your existing dog, and it's just unlikely to be the case. In this instance you fail their homing criteria and should accept that I think.
I am a huge dog lover so understand getting attached to the idea of one and trying to justify this plan to make it work and I commend that you want a rescue but its wrong to lie and very potentially waste the time of the rescue. You remind me of a friend of mine who was turned down by rescues for similar reasons, spent weeks bemoaning that all rescues were foolish not to regime to her, she went and bought a dog on bloody gum tree anyway asap because she knew best and wanted one desperately to have a 'complete little family'. Its turned out appallingly for her, the dogs behavioural problems are endless (previous owner lied of course), it can't be left alone, be near most other dogs, is occasionally aggressive and costs them a fortune in (failed) dog trainers, kennels etc. She talks about getting rid of it all the time.
None of these issues were apparent until the dog was settled at home. It can take some time for dogs personalities to come out.

I think rescue centres are prohibitively conservative on their rules for adoption, but not regarding kids.

I have rescued a couple of greyhounds, and had to get them straight from the trainers as I don't meet the criteria for rescue centres (I work, so they dogs are at home most of the day, lazing on the sofas upside down), and I don't have a six foot fence all around my garden (which they rarely go into as it's too wet and they're too lazy). So many dogs needing homes and willing owners being refused for blanket reasons that don't apply to every dog.

Sorry to derail a little OP but we are starting to look at adopting, we have had rescues in the past. Both were puppies, right place right time, mixed breeds...gorgeous dogs..but we didn't have to look hard...walked into rescue they were there..Now we are actively looking I'm finding it so much harder...Do rescues rehome out of area? Battersea? Dogs Trust? RSPCA? Breed specific rescues?

I think we would meet criteria, DH home all day, I work, no DC at home (grown up) DGC rarely visit whole other thread but we do have 2 cats.

Breed specific rescues and some others definitely rehome out of area. Good luck.

I foster for a rescue - EGLR - and we take every family and dog as they come. I've met families where the dog could cope with small children, but not the shouty hyper toddler they had. People with dogs who just hated having a puppy around them even though they normally liked other dogs. People with lovely gardens which just weren't safe for a bouncy dog - and people who lived on houseboats who were happy to know they would always have their dog on a lead to toilet.
Of my current group, one was confident and calm and could go to small children and another dog, one has attachment issues and needs a calm adult only house to work on that, and one is very worried and needs to either be the only dog or to have a calm, confident dog to show her the ropes. I spend 24/7 with them and try to really know their needs and what would most likely result in the right long term outcome for the dog.

Please don't lie. Take the time to find a dog which is right for you, and be honest with the rehomers