AIBU to not enjoy baby in the room with us?!

[poppymatilda]

Arrggghhhh, is it just us or are newborns generally so noisy? Ours will be 6 weeks old on Thursday and she is a nightmare to share a room with, squeaks, grunts, snorts etc. Even though she's settled into a decent feeding pattern every 3 hours and sleeps between (usually but not always 100% reliably) i don't really sleep because she constantly wakes me up with her noise. When I peer into her crib she's asleep through it all!
Does it settle down at any point? Currently counting down until she's 6 months and I can ship her next door to the nursery!

I had this with DS, exacerbated by the fact that I was a bit anxious and probably had some PND, so every little snuffle had be awake and stressed out. DD was a much better sleeper, and less noisy. AND DH and I had learnt to be less paranoid and silly. Quite often one of us would sleep in another room while she slept with one parent only. In the end, DS moved out completely at 5 months. Ironically, in retrospect, what probably would have been better was if we'd just co slept from the start. Even with the noises, I found that a lot less stressful when we did it.

The whole reason to keep baby sleeping in the room with you is to reduce the risk of SIDS. Newborns should be in the room with you so that they regulate their breathing. It is not advisable to sleep in a separate room to a young baby.

Safe sleep advice is that your baby should be in with you for six months for a very good reason. Please see Lullaby Trust resources for clear explanations of why this is. You’ll also read there that breathing monitors are inaccurate. Proximity to a parent helps a newborn regulate their breathing.

Predictably, there have been a plethora of posters rubbishing this evidence-based advice; you should totally ignore those people who suggest putting infants at risk. I can’t think why they choose to share that they didn’t give a shit about following advice that has massively cut infant mortality.

I’d second the more sane PP’s suggesting ear plugs / shifts.

It’s really tough when they’re asleep and keeping you awake, for you OP. It gets easier.

SIDS advice is because baby regulates their breathing through hearing yours. When they’re tiny they sometimes ‘forget’ to breathe which is why the advice is not make them too comfortable - on back in a cool room - so they never fall into a very deep sleep.

I second the white noise! Dd was a honking baby and every noise panicked me so I never slept. White noise soothed her and covered up her snorts enough that I got some shut eye too.

We lasted two days before putting DD in her own room. I'd do it again (and have done) and yes I know the recommendations. With my last baby I told the HV slept in his own room, completely upfront, and she didn't bat an eyelid.

Worrying that your HV also had a cavalier attitude towards the safety of a newborn.

Well, worrying, horrifying, negligent. But hey - your bubs your choice hun.

Well yes except having to leave the room and spend ages standing over a cot to settle them when they wake is no fun either - I preferred listening to her being noisy in the Snuzpod personally!

For some reason, on the (very rare) occasions DS slept in his Moses basket, I never slept and his noises disturbed me no end, but when he slept/sleeps in the bed next to me it didn’t bother me at all/I never really noticed them!

Wouldn’t a white noise machine hinder the baby hearing you breathe?

We got a little fan, I can’t stand sleeping in ear plugs and there is a bit of evidence that suggests fans reduce the risk of SIDS. Takes a bit of getting used to but works so well. Downside, DD can’t sleep without one now

This summary is really useful:

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/safer-sleep-product-checklist-double-spread-7.pdf

Yes! 7 weeks and our baby was in her own room. I never planned to keep her in with us until 6 months.

Luckily she loves silent pitch black room and sleeps amazingly well

The amount of people here who completely disregard professionals advice about the reduction of SIDS is really concerning.

SIDS advice is just that...advice. i reduced as many SIDS risks as I could and was happy with my decision.

Safe trumps enjoyable though. I would ear earplugs.

Having struggled to conceive I couldn't imagine putting dd in another room. Yes I wake up at every noise, yes I have the breathing monitor but nothing reassured me like looking over and seeing her.

I would have thought being responsive to your baby's needs was par for the course with parenting. Some of you are a lot more relaxed than I'd ever be tbh

I’d rather I didn’t risk my baby’s life for a better nights sleep but there you go. It’s only 6 months for goodness sake.

All mine were in their own room by 2 months. I was so anxious the slightest noise had me panicking. This was 8 years ago and beyond now. We won't have a room for new baby next year so ear plugs will have to do.

It’s so unnatural to place a helpless baby in another room from its mother.

Mine was utterly silent (to the point where I'd lie awake holding my breath to make sure she was still breathing) until after her 2-3am feed at which point she turned into a farmyard. It drove me bonkers and massively exacerbated my PND. I recorded it for my HV and she diagnosed baby grunting syndrome and suggested I start putting her down in her own cot after that feed when I felt comfortable doing so. We started at 4 months (when the SIDS risk starts dropping) and moved her full time not much later. We all sleep significantly better! At the time I hated having her in the room at night but I think that was down to the PND as now I miss her like crazy and wish she was in bed with us!

It does get better. Of all the things I prepared for, no one ever told me that newborns can be noisy sleepers! You see them on the telly all peaceful and serene, haha! And because I didn't know the first few weeks I was up and down like a bloody yoyo "omg what's that noise" "that's new I better check that noise" "she sounds raspy is she ok"

You get to learn the normal noise and what to prick your ears for, and then more often than not they start sleeping soundly! until they catch nursery germs and get a horrid night cough

My newborn was noisy at night too. My mum said, "oh yes. It'll just be like that for the first 18 months or so"

Luckily, as a PP said, it calmed down after 8 weeks or so. There is hope! This too shall pass!

I used the colic baby app either white noise or the music. Helped me sleep and drowned out the noise of baby shuffling.

It gets better as their muscles get stronger.

I remember being in hospital for a.week when baby was.a few weeks old .I would have my app playing all through the night. Didn't bother the nurses and meant when they came in and did obs I slept through as it covered the noises of their machines. They would wake me if needed.

We had no choice - 1 bed flat but my cousin had hers in the nursery on day 1, no such thing as breathing monitors or video then, just a normal audio one. Whatever works for you

My DS is the same. Snuffles and grunts all night long. Born on the same day as your DD too 😊 no advice to give just wanted to share that!