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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask you to plan my christmas alone?

27 replies

lonesomeonbauble · 10/12/2018 19:14

Long story very short: Live with parents/siblings but do not get on, currently trying to move out. We go to my extended family's house for dinner after opening presents with each other.

I'm planning on not being involved in gift giving during the morning this year as my gifts are always unappreciated and I don't expect/want anything back anyway. I do not want to attend dinner with extended family to give them more opportunity to criticise me like usual.

so I plan to stay in bed in the morning, pj's all day, get the christmas films going and stockpile snacks and nice drinks. Do any of you have suggestions of what other things I can do except christmas films?

I did consider volunteering but do not want to leave the house & a new person I've been seeing for about 2 months has offered me to attend christmas with his family but I feel too awkward about it.

OP posts:
BlueJava · 10/12/2018 19:19

Don't forget to buy yourself some nice bubble bath and a face mask - I love relaxing in the bath when everyone goes out!

JustABetterPlayer · 10/12/2018 19:20

Try to be brave and attend the other families Christmas dinner! You wouldn’t have been invited if you where not welcome. Plus you get to meet the family, if they’re batshit crazy you can call it time a few weeks later Grin

happytoday73 · 10/12/2018 19:22

Not many other options i can thibk of if you dont want to speak to others and wont leave the house.

If you don't want to be involved at all it would be much easier to do if you went out... be it volunteering or taking friend up on their offer. Less chance of drama and upset all round.

JustanotherCHRISTMASuser01 · 10/12/2018 19:26

Take the person your seeing up on their offer if you don't feel comfortable for the meal what about going round in the evening?

Original poster
lonesomeonbauble · 10/12/2018 19:26

A bit of pampering can definitely be added into the mix

OP posts:
JustanotherCHRISTMASuser01 · 10/12/2018 19:27

Or... why not treat yourself to a local hotel room? Nice quite bath book etc etc and you don't have people disturbing you

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 10/12/2018 19:36

Go the Elizabeth David route!

If I had my way – and I shan’t – my Christmas Day eating and cooking would consist of an omelet and cold ham and a nice bottle of wine at lunchtime, and a smoked salmon sandwich with a glass of champagne on a tray in bed in the evening.

Sounds heavenly...

Thishatisnotmine · 10/12/2018 19:41

Oooh, start with a bath then a really nice breakfast. Read a magazine, buy a really expensive box of chocolates and eat all to yourself. Have a boxing day sandwich but for Christmas day lunch! (I do not get much time on my own!)

ForalltheSaints · 10/12/2018 19:44

Have a plan for Boxing Day too- anything you would like to see at the cinema perhaps?

Nissemand · 10/12/2018 19:46

I think if you pull this when living in their house, you're going to look petulant and ridiculous.

Either go to your friend's place, or book a hotel.

Wallowing is just going to irritate everyone, and they'll still have to put up with you silking in bed when they are exchanging presents, and when they return home.

You'll totally kill the mood for them in their own home.

Bestseller · 10/12/2018 19:52

I agree, if you live with them you can't stay home sulking. You're happy to live in their house but you can't be pleasant and join in for one day?

Go to your friend's if your invited or just get on with it for one day and make sure you're not living there next year.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 10/12/2018 19:52

I don't think you can do this in some one else's house! Could you stretch to a hotel? If you can afford it, book somewhere fancy!

HuntIdeas · 10/12/2018 19:54

I think if you pull this when living in their house, you're going to look petulant and ridiculous.

Completely agree with Nissemand

Cleo18 · 10/12/2018 19:54

A good book - or several. I can binge watch tv with the best of them but sometimes I need the different pace of a book.

A walk - if there is somewhere nice to go and the weather is good.

Buy yourself some flowers for your room, put up some fairylights, make it pretty.

Make time to chat to friends - a quick call or a WhatsApp exchange wishing them Happy Christmas is nice.

Buy some presents for yourself. (The book, the bath products, a piece of jewellery, a new item of clothing..) You are special!

Junkmail · 10/12/2018 19:55

I’m going hiking on Christmas Day. I know you don’t want to leave the house but this has been a wonderful get out from a family Christmas for me! I’m going to spend all day enjoying nature and fresh air with my dogs and when I get home I’m going to order takeout and watch Christmas movies. I actually can’t wait and because I already have “plans” there’s been no fuss about missing out on a more traditional Christmas this year.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 10/12/2018 19:56

I've just had a quick look on booking.com you can book a luxury apartment (so you can cook) on Christmas Day and Boxing Day for less than £200. Would something like that be an option?

I used Birmingham but I'm sure other areas would be similar.

Original poster
lonesomeonbauble · 10/12/2018 19:56

All I asked for was some activity suggestions. Not an analysis on my situation.
It isn't sulking.
Also we all pay equal rent into the house/bills so it's not 'their' house. It's mine too.

OP posts:
Heartofglass21 · 10/12/2018 19:59

Staying in your room and not joining in sounds petulant. Go away for the festive season. A hotel, a stack of books, a bottle of wine and some snacky food - perfect.

Original poster
lonesomeonbauble · 10/12/2018 20:02

Also, the assumption I can afford to book a hotel especially on christmas day is ridiculous.

OP posts:
LonginesPrime · 10/12/2018 20:09

I understood that OP plans to stay home while siblings and parents visit extended family?

OP, I don't think you should join in if they're horrible to you - I certainly wouldn't.

I think get your favourite foods in, grab some movies you really want to see and enjoy your Christmas alone, if that's what you want.

MrsAJ27 · 10/12/2018 20:29

Aww OP your post has made me sad because I understand exactly where you are coming from.

I would buy my favourite food, alcohol and toiletries...wish everybody in the house a merry christmas...cook myself a lovely breakfast/brunch....have a long relaxing bath with bubble bath or a bath bomb and a glass of prosecco...put on clean PJ's and probably a bit of make up (it is my christmas too) then chill on the sofa watching christmas films and the soaps whilst drinking either prosecco or vodka. Put some food in the oven...I would buy Christmas party food because it doesn't have to be eaten hot...continue watching the shit christmas tv whilst drinking n eating...then go to bed completely content!

I truly hope you have a lovely Christmas xx

GreenDinosaur · 10/12/2018 20:38

Christmas alone sounds bloody awesome to me! I'd be relaxing with books, nice bath if possible, Chinese takeaway, good films and music, whatever you like to drink as a treat, heaven!

I wouldn't do Christmas films personally, I'd be going for feel good classics like The Blues Brothers and Monty Python but whatever works for you, that's the whole point!

loubluee · 10/12/2018 20:48

I’m going to my dp’s home for Christmas we’ve been together a few months. Both children are going to their dads at lunch. I’m fed up of offering my parents and get it thrown back at me so this year they can do as they please, think they are both on their own, not my problem. (I’m not being a bitch there is a huge back story and NC with mother for over 2 years).

Was going to happily spend the day by myself after the boys left, but dp convinced me to go to his. I must say, I am really looking forward to it. Especially when all his family will come around in the afternoon (his family is 10 times the size of mine). I did feel awkward at first, but his mum was the one who convinced me really. It probably helps that I really like his family (him too! Lol).

So OP if you change your mind and decide to go to his, remember there is at least one person in the same boat as you!!

SushiMonster · 10/12/2018 20:50

I’d go for a long bike ride or run rather than stay in, or a nice hike if weather crappy

SushiMonster · 10/12/2018 20:52

I don’t think you can hole up in your room when the rest of the family is in though - be better if you went to a hotel