To be cancelling plans to avoid drinking

[Workreturner]

I have a two wonderful separate groups of friends. Known them all for years. They have all been tremendous support over difficult few years. I love their company.

A few things have been arranged over this festive period and all involve meeting in bar or pub for drinks.

None are heavy drinkers at all but each enjoy no more 3 glasses of wine over the course of an evening.

In recent years I have got very in to fitness and whilst I like wine, I drink very rarely these days. This type of socialising doesn’t hold the same enjoyment anymore as I want to be able to get up and go for run or swim.

I don’t want to go out and have a soda and lime whilst others tuck in to wine. It’s silly but that’s the truth.

Anyone else struggling with socialising this time of year when so booze focussed ?

It doesn't really make sense what you are saying? I've done a few marathons so I've given up drinking for months at a time training and I've also been pregnant twice over Christmas, I didn't become a social outcast in either situation. I still liked socialising and seeing friends so I went along to bars or pubs and just drank lemonade or whatever.

Getting into fitness doesn't suddenly turn you into a pub hating social outcast, it sounds like there's other issues going on here I suspect.

My DD was like,this when she was in the depths of an eating disorder. She was addicted to exercise as well as feeling hunger and would be guilty, tearful and angry if something interfered with her planned schedule. As the disorder grew worse she also avoided socialising, both because it involved eating and drinking and because of a growing inability to think about anything but her addictions.

I’m not saying this is you OP, but if DD had written this I would be very worried.

I really don’t get the issue? If you don’t like drinking much then why would it bother you to sit with a soft drink while they have wine, especially if they’re not getting lashed?

@winsinbin

Is your dd ok now? If so, What helped?

You have the choice of going out and not drinking, or having a couple of glasses of wine and maybe skipping a morning swim or run. Instead you want to dictate the time of the meeting, the activity, the venue... all because you can’t alter your exercise regime.

Is this just selfishness? Or are you stuck in a pattern of having to exercise? You want all your friends to change their plans to be available for brunch - yet you can’t change your plans to swim at lunchtime so you won’t be hungover. Ask yourself if this is normal.

I know 3 friends whi have turned vegan and started running. We hardly see them now and if we do they scarper off early cause they want (need) to run. Imo it's becoming an unhealthy obsession and soon these people will spend their lives running and be left out of socialising.
Everything in moderation eh.

If they are real friends and you say politely you are not drinking, they will be supportive.

@NotTheFordType

Hangover reference? Bravo!

My OH introduced me to these recently and I realised he is Alan without the beard.

Just go and say you don’t feel like boozing or stick to asking if they’d rather brunch. They’re your friends after all it’s about their company not the booze.

Not wierd to me - I feel the same. I used to drink and love the pub but now I skip nights with my friends if they suggest the pub. I find them depressing. Lots of people just talk b*llocks after a few wines. Sticky toilet floors, queing ages to get served. It's fun when you're drinking but bloody dull when you're not. Give me a brunch any day.

Yes ! I accept less now

Kikidelivers

Thank you for asking. She’s ok. She has been in recovery for about 5 years and although she sometimes has setbacks when life gets stressful and she feels the need to exert control over things she is much better than she was. PM me if you want to talk more