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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours son playing basketball

28 replies

digger2014 · 10/12/2018 03:06

Hi everyone, just wondererd if I could have your opinion.
Last year my neighbours bought their 10 year old a basketball net. Hes often playing in the garden. The hoop is positioned really close to our back door and we can hear the thud of the ball bouncing from our patio, kitchen and lounge, even with the doors and windows shut.
We have a large shared driveway and I have previously asked whether the net could go there, rather than next to the houses. My neighbour just ignored the text and I haven't said anything since. The sound is driving me mad.
What do you think? I know he needs to play but surely the net doesn't need to be so close to our back door.

OP posts:
Atchiclees · 10/12/2018 03:09

YANBU, and have my sympathy, the constant thud thud thud of a ball being bounced is really irritating.

Original poster
digger2014 · 10/12/2018 03:21

Thank you. My DH says just ignore it but its so loud. Maybe I should try to speak to the neighbour face to face? We usuallt get on reasonably well but I hate confrontation. I do feel they have been inconsiderate of us.

OP posts:
araiwa · 10/12/2018 03:25

You get on well with your neighbour yet you sent a text?

If its a problem, being spineless isnt gonna get you anywhere. Talk to them like an adult

Original poster
digger2014 · 10/12/2018 03:35

We always text about things..thats more often than not how she contacts me. It wasn't being spineless...its just how it usually happens between us. I think I need to say something face to face.

OP posts:
Brokenanother1 · 10/12/2018 03:39

YANBU try addressing it face to face. Maybe your neighbour has a reason for not putting it in the drive

flumpybear · 10/12/2018 03:41

'I'm going to have to bring this up again I'm afraid, that constant dull thudding if the basketball is really impinging on a quiet home life, please can the hoop be moved to .... just do I can get some peace at home - thanks

Original poster
digger2014 · 10/12/2018 03:50

Thanks so much. I will try again. Hopefully they can understand. The children are often out playing and making noise which is fine. Its just the thudding we can hear even with the doors shut thats driving me mad.

OP posts:
knittedjest · 10/12/2018 05:30

Flumpy

If I got that text I would dig my hoofs into the ground and not budge. I can't pinpoint what it is but something about it would rub me the wrong way. Don't send a text like that OP.

rosablue · 10/12/2018 05:39

They probably hate the noise themselves and havrblocated it to minimise the noise that they have to endure...

So if they move it they’re going to suffer more - hence conveniently ignoring the text...

Original poster
digger2014 · 10/12/2018 05:54

Yes I will talk to her face to face. It is actually located close to their house too. Would be far better for everyone at the ends of the garden by the garages. I just can't work out why they have put it where it is. Maybe they thought we wouldn't want him playing on the shared drive. Thats fine as long aa its away from the house

OP posts:
Darklene · 10/12/2018 05:59

They don’t care because it’s their kid and they know how long he’ll be playing. So they zone it out. But you can’t because it’s not a noise you want or expect.

Talk to them. I don’t think it’s at all fair to you but some people are ridiculously entitled these days.

Good luck with it.

Leyani · 10/12/2018 06:28

Playing ball games in one's garden is normal. As are a few other things that are a few other things like a bbQ when you've hung out your washing for example. In those cases it's a polite request if it might be possible to move the hoop, rather than any suggestion they're unreasonable.

starwars80 · 10/12/2018 06:42

YABU and I don’t know how you think this will end well. (And we’ve put up with an anti social neighbour for 6 years). Their DC is outside getting fresh air and exercise. If he/she was mine I’d just be grateful that they weren’t on a screen. I’d certainly ignore a text and whilst I’d smile politely if you asked in person, I’d probably ignore that too.....although I might encourage DC to do it more if your car wasn’t in the drive (ie it was obvious you were out). You could fall out with your neighbor over this, and that really isn’t fun.

Darklene · 10/12/2018 06:55

God, people are so selfish

Original poster
digger2014 · 10/12/2018 09:47

Starwars80 we have a very long driveway..its not like a standard one. Theres plenty of room for him to play there when the cars are in. Lots of room. He often goes up and down the drive on his skateboard. We have big gardens, so I don't know why its next to the houses.

We have to do a lot of shared DIY as our houses are 250 years old. We have to be very amicable about this to work out how to share costs etc. I am hoping we can continue in that vein with this...but its a trickier one than the houses needing work ss it involves her DS.

OP posts:
Original poster
digger2014 · 10/12/2018 09:49

Sorry Starwars I misunderstood. Yes it doesnt seem to matter if we are sitting in the garden next to it or not...they seem oblivious to it. So strange

OP posts:
Seniorschoolmum · 10/12/2018 10:04

Do they have a choice where to put the basketball hoop? I guess it needs a solid vertical surface and paving below.

Rather than just asking them to move it, can you suggest an alternative location?

But to be honest, they’re using their own garden, they aren’t doing any damage and children playing outside is normal.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 10/12/2018 10:07

This would drive me mad. Go round and explain how annoying it is and ask if they can move it.

thegreylady · 10/12/2018 10:13

If it were me I would like the reassurance that I could hear the child so know where he was when he is playing out alone. If the net was away down the drive there would be no sense that all was well with him and he hadn’t wandered off, or worse.

LakieLady · 10/12/2018 10:16

I feel your pain! I was nearly driven to murder a lad along the road, who got a crush on the girl who lives next door.

For months on end, he would come round after school and they would chat out on the pavement, while he endlessly bounced a football or basketball on the ground. This would go on from about 4pm till 9.30 0r 10, with a short break when he went home for his tea. He should have been on the at risk register, because I was ready to kill him.

I used to keep all the windows at the front shut and have the tv or music on much louder than I would normally in an attempt to drown the noise out, but it never really worked. Thankfully, she got a boyfriend in the end and the lad stopped coming round.

I don't think you'd be unreasonable to ask him to stop now and again, when it's been going on for a while, or to suggest they move it to somewhere where the noise won't be so intrusive.

bigknickersbigknockers · 10/12/2018 10:22

starwars80 No wonder you don't have a good relationship with your NDN with your attitude!!

starwars80 · 10/12/2018 13:49

bigknickers glad you feel
You can jump to that conclusion without knowing any details. I suspect it because of NDN that I have my attitude. Always had lovely NDN before.

formerbabe · 10/12/2018 13:52

Yabu...unless he's out there playing basketball at 2am!

PermanentlyFrizzyHairBall · 10/12/2018 13:52

Tricky. I think the constant bouncy noise would be irritating for most people (different from football on grass). I think the solution of the driveway is a good one - you could offer to help move it?

Killerqueen2244 · 10/12/2018 14:03

You have my sympathy, we had neighbours who had a son that played it constantly right next to our garden. The balls would always end up in our garden and the noise was loud so that it was difficult to have a conversation when sitting outside.

I don’t know how you’ll be able to deal with it amicably to be honest. It didn’t end well for our neighbourly relations when their kid started using our living room wall to bounce the ball against.