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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to ask you for some killer comebacks for my Year 7 DS?

47 replies

WordInYourShellLike · 09/12/2018 11:15

DS started at secondary in September and is doing ok, mostly, but he's having a bit of a hard time with some other kids at the moment.

Head of year has been great and is on the case and things have improved a lot but there are a couple of boys that mock him every single because of his shoes! They keep saying they're girl's shoes because they have that standard pattern that most men's brogues have, the little dots / tiny holes at the toe end. Just to be clear, they are absolutely not girl's shoes but I guess they could be considered unisex. Either way, they're just plain black leather (apart from aforementioned pattern) slip-on boring school shoes.

This is a small thing compared to all the other stuff (which has now improved) but it's just annoying and stupid. So, can anyone suggest some killer comebacks for DS to throw back at them when it happens again? It generally comprises pointing and laughing, saying something like 'What are those?!?', or just 'Girl's shoes! Ha ha ha!'

I don't want him to be rude - the funnier the better!

OP posts:

ChocolateTearDrops · 09/12/2018 11:18

Killer comebacks can be taken the piss out of as much as shoes. If someone is determined enough to take the piss, they will, no matter what.

YouTheCat · 09/12/2018 11:18

They're doing for a reaction so just don't give one at all.

Bunnybigears · 09/12/2018 11:18

My advice would either be for him to laugh along with them (after all they are only shoes) or ignore or buy him some different shoes. Come backs no matter how witty will only lead to escalating the issue.

SaucyJack · 09/12/2018 11:20

Best ignored. Killer comebacks don’t really have the desired effect outside of Nickelodeon shows.

Pinkyyy · 09/12/2018 11:21

My advice would be for you not to advise him to use 'killer comebacks'. If it's that much of an issue to you then buy new shoes, if not then they'll soon find someone/something else to pick on-site that's what bullies do.

SushiMonster · 09/12/2018 11:22

The bully’s don’t care what your son is wearing, or how amazing a come back he has. They just want to bully him.

They will mock a killer comeback just as much!

Better to ignore them.

Beamur · 09/12/2018 11:24

Get him some new shoes. But it's likely they will then look for something else.
The way he reacts will influence if they keep teasing. Can he avoid them?

Switcherpoo · 09/12/2018 11:24

Agree, killer comebacks can backfire big time. My DS started refusing to wear his winter coat, insisting on his very thin summer raincoat.

After several temper tantrums (mine and his) he said other kids made fun of his coat for being babyish. It's not. And I don't think they were. But we're fortunate enough to be able to afford a new coat, so I got him one with his favourite football team crest on. It went down well, teasing moved on to something else then someone else.

And the charity shop got a really good, barely used coat for winter. Is there any way you could get him different shoes? Perhaps similar to the majority of other boys? Do you get to see them much at schools drop off or pick up?

TwoGinScentedTears · 09/12/2018 11:25

Well, the killer comeback when I was in year 7 all those years ago was 'your mom' not sure that would cut the mustard these days!

How about he yawns? As in you're so boring, always got the same put down and it boring.

My son is in year 9 now and the insult that's doing the rounds is that you're irrelevant. I'm so old that I have no idea how hesnuse that though!

But next time you buy shoes get the trendy ones! (A top tip I was given when mine started secondary was but cheap shoe zone shoes for the first couple of weeks and then they can come home and tell you what kind of shoes everyone else is wearing and you can buy Ines like that. If you want to follow the crowd of course!)

CecilyP · 09/12/2018 11:26

Weird isn't it! Schools insist on plain black shoes, so kids won't be bullied for the wrong shoes, then kids notice tiny differences in the plain black shoes and bully anyway. I don't think he needs a killer comeback, maybe, ' they're just shoes' and a shrug.

Birdie6 · 09/12/2018 11:26

Get him shoes which won't be mocked.

Switcherpoo · 09/12/2018 11:27

And prepare him for 'stampzies'. Where all the boys stamp on new shoes just for the fact they are new. Never happens inthe first day of term, but any new shoes after then 'must' be stamped on.

Houseonahill · 09/12/2018 11:27

I just came on to say what chocolateteardrops said. Best thing he can say is absolutely nothing, you cant argue if you say nothing back. Hopefully they get bored soon. Sorry your son is having a bit of a shit time.

Temporaryanonymity · 09/12/2018 11:28

Year 7s are horrid. There's nothing you can say. Buy new shoes or ignore.

CoughLaughFart · 09/12/2018 11:29

Tell him to boot the other kids up the arse. The shoes won’t seem so girly when they get them rammed in their crack.

FabulouslyGlamorousFerret · 09/12/2018 11:30

My DS has those shoes in year 7 and was taken the piss out of too - we got him new ones and sold the broguey ones on eBay

Don't make him be the one to stick his head above the parapet if he doesn't want to.

CherryPavlova · 09/12/2018 11:33

Just get him to smile smugly and walk on past. They’ll tire.

BlancheM · 09/12/2018 11:34

Bless him. I don't have any appropriate suggestions which won't get him into bother I'm afraid.
Best to pretend not to hear or stifle a yawn and look in another direction.
The thing with comebacks is they have to come from the person themselves, if it comes across as rehearsed or out of character it won't have the desired effect.
Don't under any circumstances, advise him to use them MN 'did you mean to be so rude?' it's beyond lame.

category12 · 09/12/2018 11:47

Does he like his shoes, or did he to start with?

If they're ones he didn't like but you thought were appropriate, then back down and change the damn shoes.
If they're ones he did and does like, then encourage him to stick with his own taste and just shrug. And keep getting him support from the school.

WorraLiberty · 09/12/2018 11:52

Do not do this to him OP

You cannot 'equip' him with comebacks. He either has them naturally in his head or he doesn't.

So he uses a rehearsed 'killer comeback' and a quick witted kid immediately comes out with a much better one.

What then? It sounds like he'd be even more crushed and more embarrassed.

Plus you're asking a forum where far too many people think, "Did you mean to be so rude?" is a 'brilliant comeback'

ipswichwitch · 09/12/2018 11:56

Ha! Worra I wonder how many people have delivered that devastatingly witty comeback “did you mean to be so rude?” and been told in return “yes I did”!!

Fridaydreamer · 09/12/2018 11:57

Killer comebacks will come back on him. If it were my DC I’d go out and buy him the trendiest coolest shoes I could.

Sorry but it’s the world we live in and taking a moral stand over bullies and a pair of shoes is not worth it at this age. Not giving them any ammo usually works.

Mulberry72 · 09/12/2018 12:00

Agree with PP’s, I have a DS in Y7 and they all take the mickey out of each other something rotten.

I’d be buying new shoes definitely.

WorraLiberty · 09/12/2018 12:00

Exactly ipswichwitch!

GoblinsAndGhouls · 09/12/2018 12:01

Plus you're asking a forum where far too many people think, "Did you mean to be so rude?" is a 'brilliant comeback'

Seriously, ignorning - completely ignoring - no reaction whatsoever is the best way to go. The bully ends up looking like a dick and a 'loser' and they will move onto someone else much quicker. They generally don't like to be made a fool of by 'killer comebacks'.

However, my son has a feature that is prime for bullying. He just used to laugh and say, "is that the best you've got?" or looked a bit disappointed and just said, "Oh. I was hoping to hear something new. Ah well" and he walked away. The kids who were looking for someone to bully soon got bored and moved on.

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