Do you skip church if you have guests?

[TheOrigFV45]

Just that - if your guests are not church goers do you still go?
We are the guests, leaving for home at 11am.
DS2 said he doesn't want to go to church and it got me wondering what people generally do.

AS a guest, i wouldnt expect the host to go out to church leaving their guests at their home particularly as we are non church goers. If you don’t want to host, don’t invite guests.

Not religious now but often visit people who are and I always ask the night before if they are going to church and what time, then leave bathroom etc clear so they can be ready and whilst they are out get myself ready etc - but this is family

If it were friends I wouldn't be bothered, but often there is an alternate service to go to either at same location different time and if not then there are other churches nearer - so you could do Sat eve, Sun early or midmorning or evening so plenty of options for many.

I say if you know them well enough to stay then having a convo that says we are off to church for 10.30 tomorrow, you are welcome to join us or just get up more leisurely and we will see you back here for lunch time.

We’ve never had a guest who wasn’t a churchgoer themselves, so they just come along with us, or go to a local branch of theirs.

If we had guests who were non church goers they would have definitely been told we would be attending church and invited to come f they want to, if they don’t then they’d know when we’ll be back and anything they need whilst we’re gone sorted out beforehand.

"I think anyone goes to church instead of looking after their guests then the message of Christ has gone over their heads!"

Oh dear. A guest should be able to 'look after' themselves for an hour!

"AS a guest, i wouldnt expect the host to go out to church leaving their guests at their home particularly as we are non church goers. If you don’t want to host, don’t invite guests."

How narrow minded of you! I can't imagine being bothered about being by myself for an hour. Do you have some kind of problem?
I also wouldn't want to stop someone practising their faith.

AS a guest, i wouldnt expect the host to go out to church leaving their guests at their home particularly as we are non church goers. If you don’t want to host, don’t invite guests.

We are one of those mumsnet anathema households for whom guests are normal, not rare and formal. Overnight guests are always welcome, we are a friendship/family group of “dropping in” which not uncommonly turns into supper, and then over night.

We don’t stand on ceremony, we crack on. We have livestock to care for, having guests over doesn’t mean we spend every waking minute hosting.

OMG, There is some guff being spouted on this thread. Did Jesus teach you to leave your guests alone? And it's a mortal sin to miss Church for anything other than hospitalisation or death!

Getting back into the real world..............

If there IS such a Church that chastises you for missing some Sundays, I would not want to live in that community, or attend that Church where it's a 'mortal sin' to miss a Sunday attendance now and again! I may go if I have guests, I may not. Depends if I feel like it or not. If we have been drinking the night before and I have a hangover, then no I won't go.

I think there is some kind of bizarre assumption (from some) that the more you go to Church, the better a person you are. Couldn't be further from the truth. I know some people who never go to Church, or only go 6-8 times a year, who are the loveliest people I know, and also some people who attend weekly, who are utterly vile; judgemental, scornful, questioning people who 'only' go once or twice a month, and think everything is a sin.

A vicar once told me 'you can be whatever type of Christian you want to be, and coming to Church every single week doesn't make a person better than those who attend once a month.'

There are many ways to be a good Christian, but going to Church every single week doesn't make you a better Christian, or a better person.

" I’d probably rather they nipped out to the speedy 8am service rather than the long 10am service if I’ve traveled to see them."

Lots of people don't have an 8am service. Anywhere I've worshipped has basically only had a 10, 10.30 or 11am service. Even the evening services have stopped. Definitely nothing like a Saturday evening as mentioned above.
Depends on your denomination and size of church I think.

Depending on the type of church service it was I might go along too. Otherwise, you (the host) might go to a different service at a different time (eg early service on Sunday or the 6 o’clock on Saturday evening if you’re catholic).

I think the main thing is everyone knowing what’s happening.

"Money in collection plate is not compulsory at all. In fact, many people don't give money but give their time to help others in whatever capacity they can. "

And some people donate annually rather than in the collection plate or give by bank transfer rather than always have loose change.

Missing Sunday mass is declared a mortal sin because it is putting our schedules before God. God must be our number one priority but by missing mass, we aren't doing that

Are you saying a few 100 years in purgatory whilst imps and demons shove red hot pokers up yoir arse is to high a price to pay? I think that's just rude and selfish.

Anyway didn’t your church used to teach that you can get a few years knocked off by buying an indulgence or a relic?

The Catechism of the Catholic Church is a load of reactionary rightwing bollocks dreamed up by elderly mysogonistic virgins in silly hats to suit their own particular worldview.

I would pay more attention to the Argos catalogue.

“Oh dear. A guest should be able to 'look after' themselves for an hour!”

True. But if people could look after themselves then they wouldn’t need the church!

At my church we only have one service a week, at 11 on Sunday. But we’re Unitarian Universalists so there’s no obligation to attend.

I would probably miss service for guests, but I’ve stayed with people of other faiths and they’ve popped out to attend church. It doesn’t bother me at all.

"If there IS such a Church that chastises you for missing some Sundays, I would not want to live in that community"

Me neither, but then I couldn't have guests who can't be alone for an hour either. Would I be allowed to spend 45 minutes showering and getting dressed, since they are so incapable of sitting down reading the paper or something?

Mandatory Mass attendance was introduced relatively recently when attendance declined; it’s nothing to do with the teachings of Christ.

Sounds like desperate measures to stop losing the few who do go to church.

@FunkyKingston

As a Christian of many years, I find your post MASSIVELY rude and offensive.

But absolutely fucking HILARIOUS! 😂😂😂

I'm often in this situation. I used to go to church early or late to avoid disrupting our guest's day, but simply because I have less energy nowadays, I tend to skip it on a Sunday and make it up during the week instead.

If I was the guest, I wouldn't expect my host to change their usual schedule for me, and unlike pp, if they were attending a service of a different religion, I would definitely go along with them if invited, because I'd find it interesting.

Gwen - we host about once a month and probably visit another weekend. Quite often this involves flights/Eurotunnel. We plan in advance on how we are going to spend our time together. Surely if religion matters that much to the host, they could go to a service at a time which doesn’t clash with their guests? Luckily for us it isn’t an issue as neither us or any of our friends go to church.

DS2 said he doesn't want to go to church and it got me wondering what people generally do.

I don't understand this. Are your hosts expecting you (the guests) to go too? I presume you are not practising whatever. If that's the situation, then they're off their heads.

Otherwise, I would not as a guest expect my hosts to miss mass. Did you stay over last night? If so, they couldn't have gone to a vigil.

Winterfell my mother is a Catholic who never missed Mass and went to all the services she was meant to.

She is now terminally ill and doesn’t attend mass. But her church have been absolutely phenomenal and I for one am extremely glad she has this amazing community around her. The things they lay on and do for those in need is fantastic.

Absolutely agree that attending church and not practicing Christian values doesn't make you a better person. We have a saying "Church us a field hospital for dinner not a museum for saints".

There are wonderful people of all denominations and faiths. I'm sure that God in his infinite mercy, cherishes them all.

Like it or not, it is a mortal sin in Catholicism to miss church on Sundays. As mentioned, giving worship to God should be our priority. God also tells us (and is a frequent message in mass) that we should follow through with our Christianity through love for EVERYONE. Not just those who we 'approve' of.We should be admonished if we aren't showing Christian charity to others and simply going through the motions at church.

I actually gave plenty of reasons why a mass dispensation would be appropriate, not just extreme circumstances. Jesus did actually tell us that God was more important than anything else in this world and it is in our ten commandments. I actually think I show the most love and honour to God by going to church on those times that I don't want to.

Protestant churches may have a different ideas but it's a serious thing in Catholicism.

Completely missing the point Gwenhwfayr!

I never said I WOULD tolerate people who could not be on their own for an hour!

But I would also NOT tolerate a controlling and narcissistic Church who treated people like Pariahs if they missed the odd Sunday Service!

But I would also NOT tolerate a controlling and narcissistic Church who treated people like Pariahs if they missed the odd Sunday Service! hmm

Do you know of any churches/denominations that do this?

@rivertam

Winterfell my mother is a Catholic who never missed Mass and went to all the services she was meant to.

She is now terminally ill and doesn’t attend mass. But her church have been absolutely phenomenal and I for one am extremely glad she has this amazing community around her. The things they lay on and do for those in need is fantastic.

My Church is also 'phenomenal' and friendly and welcoming, and helps anyone in need. They just don't make people feel like shit if they miss a few Sundays in the year!

(Sorry about your mother BTW.)