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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I dislike Christmas.

28 replies

Darkestnight · 08/12/2018 22:07

Because both my parents have passed away and my dd is now 18.Most of my other family don't talk or live miles away and were not really close. I've put a tree up and making it nice for my dd even tho she is 18 but is disabled with the mental age of a 12 year old.

I don't go around telling people this to spoil there Xmas but inside I just cannot be bothered as its not special to me like it once was. In fact it's pretty lonely but I make the best of it and still wish others a lovely Christmas.

This is not a self pitty thread and I know there are many others who feel the same.

I like new year as its the start of a new year and holidays etc to come

OP posts:

Thesmallthings · 08/12/2018 22:17

I'm with you, I just can't be added. I'm trying really hard to get into it but at the moment I just want to burn ds1 presents.

And it be January all ready.

I'm sorry you feel like this too

Is there anything you want to do for fun?

Original poster

Darkestnight · 08/12/2018 22:20

I think I'm more focused for next year as I look forward to the new year and started thinking about holidays.

It's all good just think I needed to let it out as one of my friends called me selfish the other day but she really has no clue and has a huge family.

OP posts:

Amanduh · 08/12/2018 22:22

I love Christmas but I’d never call you selfish ffs. Your friend clearly isn’t a friend. It sounds bloody hard OP. You’re not unreasonable.

LucyAutumn · 08/12/2018 22:25

Ah there is no rule to love and be excited by Christmas OP, unfortunately some people get too caught up in it and can't comprehend a different opinion.

Have you considered taking a vacation at this time of year?

M3lon · 08/12/2018 22:25

yep - I hear you OP.

The key for me is to dissociate from all the 'this is how you should feel about christmas' messages being broadcast at this time of year and focus on what I actually feel / want.

If you aren't careful you end up feeling like everyone else is having a great time and you aren't. But if you get to do things the way you WANT to then that can't really be true!

And its okay to not want a massive over the top christmas! It really is.

epicclusterfuck · 08/12/2018 22:26

Darkest I could have written this, I'm just not doing it this year - going on holiday for a few days and by the time we get back it will nearly be over! Very limited present buying and probably no Christmas dinner. I am questioning what it is all for?

So I have removed commercialism as much as possible and will go for quiet pleasures such as walks and spending time with my own small (adult) family playing games, watching films, listening to music.

letsdolunch321 · 08/12/2018 22:29

Christmas to me is one day only. yes, I put up a tree up about a week before Christmas day and buy presents that is all I do.

As soon as it is over the better.

Original poster

Darkestnight · 08/12/2018 22:33

Glad I'm not the only one feeling like this.
I would love a holiday but just started a new job a month ago so not built enough holiday yet but have a holiday booked for March next year.

Christmas is just another day for me also and it goes so quickly to. I'm working a few hours boxing day as I'm in retail and dd is going to her friends house and then I'll take her out for lunch.

OP posts:

Original poster

Darkestnight · 08/12/2018 22:35

I've just brought frozen stuff for Xmas Dinner as just myself and dd I don't see the point in cooking a big meal from scratch but it will be OK.

OP posts:

llangennith · 08/12/2018 22:46

I've been on my own for 25 years and now that the DC are all married and have DC of their own I usually go to one of them for Christmas. If I go to the one who lives locally they always have a crowd and I'm really not into big social meals. If I go to one of the other two I have to stay a few days. That's ok but I don't really enjoy the Christmas Day bit.
My ideal Christmas would be them all coming to mine and me cooking for them all and everyone doing what they want after lunch then playing some sort of game later on.
It's hard when you stop being the host for your family's Christmas Day but it happens to us all eventually.
I really would be quite happy to stay home on my own Christmas Day but my DC can't understand why😂

ilovesooty · 08/12/2018 22:49

I've volunteered for the past two years but can't this year. I am treating as a normal day and can understand how you feel.

LucieMorningstar · 08/12/2018 22:54

I don’t like Christmas either. I’ve lost pretty much everyone I spent it with when I was younger and those that are still here I don’t see as they don’t want to spend it with me and my family. I do it for my kids but as they get older and start to grow out of it, it’ll probably be a very simple affair rather than the glitz it is at the moment.

skybluee · 08/12/2018 23:04

To be honest I'm not feeling good about it at all this year. A combination of bad life events over the past few years and living with a lot of pain, I'm not able to walk very far.

I also think the dark nights are playing very much into it and affect mood badly. It gets dark before 4pm here. Very different to the summer, warmth and at least being able to sit outside. It just feels so very limiting and I'm now starting to think the lack of sunlight literally does something to my brain because I don't feel right at all and for some reason today has started to scare me.

I hope your Christmas is OK. I guess maybe just focus on the fact it's one day and look forward to it being January. Maybe try and plan some little things to look forward to.

it's also a time of year that's very reflective and i think that can be a problem. good luck and i hope you have a nice day.

Unusualusernames · 08/12/2018 23:04

No you are not in the least. I detest Christmas like no one I’ve ever met. I can no longer bear to shop in Sainsbury’s because their piping Christmas music makes me liable to explode at any second and I can’t think of a single positive thing about Christmas

Unusualusernames · 08/12/2018 23:05

*they’re I can’t even think straight it annoys me so much

ilovesooty · 08/12/2018 23:09

I've been to my company's Christmas do and left after the meal finished x

thighofrelief · 08/12/2018 23:17

I like Christmas but the rest of my family don't and they have zero romance in their souls about it so have given up. No tree or decorations for about 6 years now. One neighbour gives a card and that is the only one I write. My sons both want money so that's just a bank transfer. I'm just going to cook a normal roast chicken dinner and go for a dog walk.

thighofrelief · 08/12/2018 23:20

On the other hand I'm utterly phobic about NYE and go to bed at 10 with my dogs who shake due to fireworks. My favourite day is boxing day when there's no fuss and leftovers.

Topseyt · 08/12/2018 23:29

I hear you too, OP. This year in particular.

I don't really do this time of year all that well. Short days and long nights really affect my mood.

Family problems this year mean I really just cannot get into it. I will get it done, for my DDs (23, 20 and 16) and we shall enjoy Christmas Day together when the time comes. For now though, my heart isn't in it and I feel like the Grinch, which I am trying not to show.

SlowlyShrinking · 08/12/2018 23:34

I’m not really looking forward to it this year. My dad died this year and I’m not sure how it’s going to be without him. I suppose we have to get through it though. I’m looking forward to stuff with my ds in the run up, but not the day itself at all.

Meangirls36 · 08/12/2018 23:51

Now I'm grown up its just stress lots of stress and then day drinking too much food and endless bits.

legohouse · 09/12/2018 00:09

I'm with you OP.... it's not how it was. I do it for my boys but happy when it's all over tbh x

GreenDinosaur · 09/12/2018 01:15

I think the enforced jollity makes everything worse.
I can't wait for all the fucking joy and magic to end.

Ah, that actually feels quite nice to get off my chest!

dimsum123 · 09/12/2018 01:27

Me too. I hate feeling forced to enjoy something I couldn't care less about and having to eat food that I don't like and spend long periods of time with people I can only handle in very small doses. Cannot wait for it all to be over.

I just want to go away somewhere hot and come back in Jan 2019.

Oliversmumsarmy · 09/12/2018 01:36

I am off on holiday this year.

I normally if we stay at home do all the Christmas shopping and food shopping on Christmas Eve or order stuff on line to pick up in the store.

Big wrapping session on Christmas Eve. Dp cooks Christmas Dinner.

I used to like Christmas but after a few years of everything being left to me including wiring in a tv aerial and finishing off the plumbing so we had water in the house one year as well as everything else I really went off it and now I actually hate it.

Everyone else loves it but they don’t do anything

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