I want to leave my job but DH says no

[katya0]

I've currently been working at my job for over ten years, I'm 31 and its the job I've had since graduating from university. I get paid well but I really hate my boss, he's rude and when I went on maternity leave, tried to say that if I have my child, he'd fire me on purpose. I only returned to the job as I was getting rejected elsewhere and I needed security.

However, I want to leave my job as I've been offered another job but that doesn't start till March as the building is being renovated. DH has said that as my job starts in March, I can't quit now but I cannot stand to be there anymore and he tells me to suck up the bullying and move on. Every week I get picked on and only returned in June after my baby was born because we needed the money.

I've had enough but should I just stick it till March?

It makes so much more sense for you to stay. Not just the money - your DH Is right that a gap in your career history won’t look great to future employers. If you can, I would grit your teeth and bear it.

I'm trying to think of a time when my dh would ever have bullied me into staying in a job were I was also getting bullied.
No amount of money is worth that, especially as you state you don't need the money.
i'm sorry OP but your dh is an arse hole.
I bet if you added up how much both of you working costs a few months off will save you money, even if just childcare and transport to work.

It seems abit silly to spend your savings while you're waiting for the job to start, an unnecessary outgoing, which will leave you less able to deal with emergencies if they occur.

And what happens if for some reason the job still isn't ready in March? Or if it falls through altogether for some reason?

Is DH's reasoning:

• concern about managing financially
• concern about the other job not happening/gap on CV
• concern about being sole earner
• belief that its up to him to decide?

The first three can all be addressed reasonably, that last would be the potential LTB.

If you have a grievance in flight against the bully can you use the knowledge that you are escaping to see it through? Depending on the culture of the company they may well want to pay you off.

A month or two between jobs after ten years is entirely commonplace an not a CV issue.

For heaven's sakes, the gap in your CV is a non issue. After 10 years in the same job it is perfectly reasonable to choose to take 2-3 months off between jobs. No future employer will even question it. Assuming you will stay in this new job for years this is the only opportunity you will get to have an extended break. Stop as soon as you can and enjoy what will literally be only a few weeks off.

I think he may be concerned that if you were out of work for a few months, you would like it and wouldn’t want to go back/settle into new job.

Tbh, from what you’re saying I’m not sure you would either- sounds like you’d prefer to be home with DD- which I understand x

My inclination would be to stick it out, as the end is in sight and you can count down the weeks. If you have any annual leave, parental leave, lieu days, build them in. You will accrue holidays for January. Have you signed a contract for the new role for March? If you have an interruption of several weeks in your working career, would it affect you in the future eg if you needed maternity benefit? I’d be inclined to bank as much as you can and suck it up, to be honest.

your DH Is right that a gap in your career history won’t look great to future employers.

Two months off after a ten-year job is not a ‘gap in your career history!’ It’s totally normal for people to take some time out between jobs, especially after working for that long. Lots of people take sabbaticals after 10 years or so, in fact.

I would definitely try to have at least a few weeks off between the two roles. Is the new job definitely confirmed, though? If the building is under construction then I’d worry that it might get delayed, so I wouldn’t want to hand in my notice until that was all sorted.

And definitely keep pushing that grievance, those kinds of comments are completely unacceptable and in fact illegal!

The bottom line is that no one is the boss of you - not at work, not at home

Leave the job and keep pursuing the grievance

Why not compromise? Hand in your notice at the beginning of January and have February off.