Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

** Trigger warning** Title edited by MNHQ Apparently I'm feminist because (according to "dp")

81 replies

Lovethetimeyouhave · 08/12/2018 20:12

When a scene came on in a film with a man smacking a woman around the face and her falling and "d"p said (that's right, slap the bitch round the face, put her into her place) I then refused to watch the film and haven't been speaking to him since as he got pissed off and said I'm a feminist and it's just "nature". He's such a prick.

OP posts:
starcrossedseahorse · 08/12/2018 20:58

Good god. Leave. Now.

AnoukSpirit · 08/12/2018 20:59

When I got with him he was wonderful.

I don't doubt it for a moment. All abusive men start off this way.

If they didn't they'd never get near enough to a woman to abuse her, and they wouldn't be able to hold onto her with the fantasy that he'll stop being abusive and go back to the wonderful version. Unfortunately the wonderful version was all fake.

Www.freedomprogramme.co.uk will help you understand what he's doing, why, and the impact it's had. Abuse is about control, not violence or being a monster. The Freedom Programme will be able to help you see men like this coming before they get their hooks into you.

0808 2000 247 - women's aid can help if you need support or advice.

If you're thinking "but he's never hit me" that's fairly irrelevant - he sounds extremely abusive and will only get worse. Abusive men do not get better.

In case it's not clear in your head anymore, this is not a normal way to live or be treated by somebody who claims to care about you. The rest of us are not living like this, and it's not what people mean when they refer to having an argument with their partner.

This is not love.

starcrossedseahorse · 08/12/2018 20:59

Oh and I hope that you are a feminist. Feminism is sorely needed whilst pricks like this still roam the earth.

AGHHHH · 08/12/2018 21:00

What a fucking sexist waste of cum he is.

WhyAmISoCold · 08/12/2018 21:01

I would NOT be with a man who held these views about women. There are some men in my family who are very sexist and I bloody hate it. I would never tolerate it in a partner.

EKGEMS · 08/12/2018 21:01

I would've slammed the wardrobe close on his fucking hands! I never realized what a feminist I was until I read about the shitty partners on MN! Get out. Your kids will have a distorted view about gender living with this fool!

iLevictoiChete · 08/12/2018 21:01

please leave. soon as you can. don't let anything stop you. he is horrible and it's extremely damaging to your child to be exposed to such awful attitudes. is he your DS's dad? I would be very worried about an impressionable child having any contact at all with such a person.

Lynne45 · 08/12/2018 21:03

You need to leave him. What a dick.

spreadingchestnuttree · 08/12/2018 21:10

The fact he considers "feminist" an insult says it all.

IHopeThisIsAGoodIdea · 08/12/2018 21:18

My guess is he was always like this inside he just hid it from you until he felt he had you good and "trapped". With his viewpoint on violence I wouldn't put it past him to lay hands on you as well or that he may have on a former partner.

This relationship sounds in need of an exit strategy.

Lonelynessie · 08/12/2018 21:21

My first ever LTB.

Queenofthedrivensnow · 08/12/2018 21:22

Both my major exes used feminist as an insult. Run

3WildOnes · 08/12/2018 21:23

LTB Honestly have some self respect and protect your child.

GunpowderGelatine · 08/12/2018 21:25

Does he think calling someone a feminist is insulting? How weird, if someone called me a feminist I'd say thanks for noticing

Bluntness100 · 08/12/2018 21:27

Does he hit you op? What does he mean it's "just nature " for a man to slap a woman about?

And does he understand feminism means equal rights for men and women? Is this what he objects to? That women shouldn't be equal to men?

HestiaParthenos · 08/12/2018 21:33

Does he think calling someone a feminist is insulting? How weird, if someone called me a feminist I'd say thanks for noticing

Yeah, him trying to use it as insult is a huuuuuge red flag.

KillJester · 09/12/2018 10:29

I find it completely baffling why you’re still with him to be honest. I assure you there are tons of nice guys out there. Go and find one and be happy.

bringincrazyback · 09/12/2018 10:36

Good grief, LTB and don't look back. He's a twat and an abusive one at that.

NotANotMan · 09/12/2018 10:37

He clearly wasn't wonderful was he? He was just pretending

DadJoke · 09/12/2018 10:44

He is an abusive cockweasel. LTB.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 09/12/2018 10:48

He's not such a 'D'P, is he.
Why are with this prize prick

ginyogarepeat · 09/12/2018 10:50

Oh wow, he sounds vile OP. Aside from you deserving better, please think of the awful example this twat must be setting for your DC.

Fridaydreamer · 09/12/2018 10:56

“When someone show you who they are, believe them the first time.” - Maya Angelou

He’s shown you who he is. More than once by the sounds of it.

Shoxfordian · 09/12/2018 10:59

Why are you still with him? He's a shitbag

marvellousnightforamooncup · 09/12/2018 11:00

It isn't worth spending your precious life on a cockweasle like this. Are you able to leave? Maybe you aren't ready yet, but it doesn't hurt to have a plan in place for when you are.