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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend says she doesn't like chocolate but eats it anyway??

55 replies

harvey77 · 08/12/2018 17:54

My friend always says she don't like chocolate/sweets/cake but every time we get together she eats it. Last time we went out she finished by ordering a huge white chocolate dessert dripping with chocolate sauce and cream which she demolished.

She says the same about her son - that he won't eat chocolate, etc, but when you ask her son what he wants to eat he points to the cake or chocolate biscuits.

I don't understand why she would lie about it - if you like cake eat it. She's a bit overweight but works out regularly.

Why lie?

OP posts:
lisasimpsonssaxophone · 08/12/2018 18:59

Gosh that sundae sounds delicious. Now I want one!

Caffeineismydrug35 · 08/12/2018 19:01

I know someone like this! Considers herself “mildly overweight” at 5” and size 22. Claims to eat really healthily but stashes chocolate wrappers. It’s a denial thing. Let her get on with it.

TheDarkPassenger · 08/12/2018 19:07

I think it’s ‘cool’ at the minute to pretend you don’t like it and you eat kale and quinoa every evening for dinner.

During summer I don’t eat chocolate. During winter I can’t get enough of it. How weird is that?

YouWereRight · 08/12/2018 19:08

I work with somebody who thinks that if she says something often enough it'll come true.

I don't have a sweet tooth = I want to not like this, so I could loose weight.

Lynne45 · 08/12/2018 19:12

Maybe she means she doesn’t like a bar of chocolate but will eat chocolate cake/biscuits? I’m not a chocolate person at all, I wouldn’t order a chocolate dessert.

musicposy · 08/12/2018 19:13

I dislike chocolate and always tell people that. But, like your friend, I eat it and will often pick it on a menu. Why?

Well, it's more accurate to say I dislike some chocolate. So cheap chocolate cake or ice cream I wouldn't touch under any circumstances. Often I think I like it as it's one of those things I feel I should like, so if everyone's sharing a box of chocolates I'll have one or two. Then I'll decide all over again that no, I really don't like chocolate, but eat it out of politeness.

The other thing, as a pp has said, is that on a desert menu, 80% of the choices are often chocolate. And the other choices are fresh fruit or biscuits and cheese, maybe apple pie. If there was something else sticky, yummy, filling, bad for you, creamy, etc, I'd take it. But usually there isn't so I go for the chocolate.

YearOfYouRemember · 08/12/2018 19:16

It's reaally not cool to pretend you don't like something you do Hmm.

Woooman · 08/12/2018 19:17

I reckon she's just one of those irritating people who try to act superior to others by going against the grain when it comes to "popular" things. I've met a few of them. The sort of person who lectures others about animal cruelty and the farming industry but who is then first in line at a BBQ and ploughing through all the sausages. Or the one who says they hate a certain popular music group but then just so happens to know all the words to all their songs. It's a form of attention seeking.

musicposy · 08/12/2018 19:19

Oh, and you said her desert was white chocolate. That doesn't count when I say I don't like chocolate. It doesn't have that horrible bitter taste you get in a cheap brown chocolate product. I could handle a bit of chocolate sauce on top of a white chocolate desert easily. I actually get where she's coming from but it's hard to explain.

I think now, after reading your OP, that I must similarly annoy my friends! They are constantly saying "I thought you didn't like chocolate" and I always answer "I don't" whilst tucking into a chocolate desert Blush

clearsommespace · 08/12/2018 19:26

I also can go without chocolate (except the bit outside a Magnum!) in the summer but crave it in the winter.

Harvey77 What do you make for 'savoury dessert?' I am intrigued....

WereYouHareWhenIWasFox · 08/12/2018 19:31

Um, isn’t that usually cheese clear?

WereYouHareWhenIWasFox · 08/12/2018 19:32

polpotnoodle do you go on every thread asking that? Maybe mumsnet isn’t for you? The OP asked a question, she never claimed it was affecting her life 😂

Junkmail · 08/12/2018 19:37

I’m not a chocolate person—I wouldn’t seek out chocolate or buy it at the supermarket. I would always rather pick the savoury treat. But if I were eating out or it was a special occasion then I might choose the chocolate dessert. Could that be what she means when she says she doesn’t like it?

dontgobaconmyheart · 08/12/2018 19:45

I wouldnt have thought it was that complex of an issue necessarily, like a lot of people presumably she on some level thinks it reflects positively on her to appear virtuous when it comes to what she eats and not the 'kind of person' who is scoffing junk food left right and centre (which comes with all sorts of negative societal connotations about greed/class/self control/pride in ones health, being lazy, or fat etc) so she virtue signals about how she isn't one of those people to make herself both feel and look good. My DM used to do this all the time, i just felt a bit sorry for her to be honest. I don't think its anyone's job to police what other people are eating and with what frequency, or relative to what they say, and i can't see why it personally bothers you. If it 'only' affects you when you have her over, why think about it at all on other occasions? Just make a couple of different desserts and she can do what she likes if she comes over, not everything is about point scoring or catching people out.

The sentiment is even more exaggerated presumably when it comes to her son, people love to boast about their child not liking or eating sugar because that makes their child 'better' than other peoples.

starzig · 08/12/2018 20:01

I do that. Sometimes if you say it enough to yourself you can occasionally put yourself off. It's herself she is trying to convince not you. Actually find it quite rude you are posting about someone else's eating habits. Really not your business.

greendale17 · 08/12/2018 20:05

@PolPotNoodle

It affects her because it is her friend and her so called friend is an attention seeking liar.

Jas0510 · 08/12/2018 22:15

Well I don’t like chocolate.. but I do eat it sometimes. Sometimes it’s the best option of the menu 🤷🏽‍♀️ Im also the same with cheese, I generally hate cheese but the other day I bought some expensive Mac and cheese because my colleagues were raving about it - no idea why as I hated it. I’ll have to stop this behaviour as I didn’t know it could end up as a MN post 😆😆

PawPawNoodle · 08/12/2018 23:41

WereYouHareWhenIWasFox I don't often post on threads like this so I imagine you are mistaking me for someone else.

The OP is acting as though her friend not liking chocolate and then eating it is some significant betrayal, so I think it's perfectly valid to ask why how it affects her life.

From the update it seems that at most it has caused a minor inconvenience as she hosted her for dinner and made a savoury dessert thinking her friend didn't like chocolate (why the OP didn't instead make a fruit based dessert remains a mystery). I am still yet to see how it is affecting her life or why it matters what another woman chooses to eat.

Ohyesiam · 08/12/2018 23:45

She’s just one of those people that she excels at not being straight with herself. My mum is like this, she thinks if she says something it must make it true. She Is totally in denial about it and I bet your friend end is too.

WereYouHareWhenIWasFox · 09/12/2018 00:05

No, not mistaking you for anyone, polpot but you could ask that question on most threads on MN. It seems a bit of a waste of time, just keep scrolling.

HestiaParthenos · 09/12/2018 00:15

In my opinion, white chocolate is not chocolate at all, and I have a friend who will only eat white chocolate (which imho really is just a combination of sugar and fat, much like non-chocolate desserts).

It could be that. Lots of people don't really like the bitter, strong flavour of cocoa, but do like the fat-sugar combination.

Or it could be her lying because she thinks people will judge her for being fat and liking chocolate.

Just ask her? "I thought you didn't like chocolate, but this is chocolate? Did you mean just chocolate bars?"

Klobuchar · 09/12/2018 00:19

Or it could be her lying because she thinks people will judge her for being fat and liking chocolate

I think it’s this. We are all so terribly judgemental about this, no wonder she tries to offset it, however pointless that might be.

Anyway OP, it’s not a massive deal is it?

PawPawNoodle · 09/12/2018 00:54

WereYouHareWhenIWasFox I'm certain you are having flicked through my watching list, however feel free to PM me some links to my posts since you're confident enough to derail a thread in order to call me out.

NutCrackerSuite · 09/12/2018 00:59

Cognitive dissonance

Nettletheelf · 09/12/2018 01:09

She’ll be eating chocolate in secret and pretending that she doesn’t.

I knew somebody like this: we’d have a dinner party, we’d serve a chocolate dessert (M&S) and she’d say, “Oh, that looks so RICH, I’ll just try a tiny bit”, then on doing so would bleat, “Oh it’s really RICH, it’s so RICH, how can you eat all of that, I couldn’t manage all of that”.

Then she’d scoff a load of Belgian chocolates the next time we saw her. Because they are not ‘rich’ at all, are they.

It’s a form of eating disorder, I think. I’m three stones lighter and miles fitter than Mrs “Oh it’s so RICH”, so she must be eating some fat and sugar laden stuff, eh? Whilst trying to make everybody else feel bad for doing it.

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