Nowhere to go

[Beckymad1]

Posting here for traffic.

I've been kicked out of my house (mums house) after an argument with her boyfriend.

I have nowhere to go.... does anyone know any place I can call for a room?

I havent got much money so a hotel isn't really an option

OP, you said you work, that’s good. If someone I worked with said they’d been kicked out and had no where to stay, even if it was offering my sofa until Monday and I only knew their name from them working in the office I would help. We think people wouldn’t care but I promise if you ask someone will help until Monday.
If you’re happy explaining, lost on Facebook or post to a restricted friends list saying you’ve been kicked out and can anyone help with a sofa until Monday. You will find a friend or someone that will help.

My son is 20, he's on minimum wage for his age.
He has a moped, (which needs petrol, tax, insurance) to get to work.
He is learning to drive also, but lessons that cost at least £20 a time.

We live in Hertfordshire, Rent, for a BEDSIT!! round here is at least approximately £500 a month plus..

I really, really don't get, why, some MNs wonder on some threads, why An op/the op at 20+is still living at home still?

I can only assume they have young children, and they live in a world that doesn't come into their peripheral as yet?

And to be perfectly candid and not drip feed.
My 20yr old is a nightmare..
I would love to 'throw' him out, but, he can't afford it..
So he's here, probably, for another good 5 years plus at least..

If you have enough money from work, Travelodge are safe and some are very cheap, depending on what area of the country you're in.

I've stayed at Youth Hostel Association places for about £10-£15 a night. I know of a place in Manchester

It is here www.yha.org.uk/hostel/yha-manchester
in case you're in that area. Some nights it's only £12.

I kno it may not help now, but in the future make it an absolute priority to build up an emergency fund. Even if it means going without coffees, chocolate bars, little treats - just try to put even £10 a week aside into a separate account and build it up week by week. Even having a hundred pounds can make a world of difference to your options if anything happens again.

I'd echo the other people who've said wait a few hours somewhere warm if you can then phone your mum.

BUT, one thing I do want to say is we don't know the poster's situation. We don't know if her mum and boyfriend, and her bf, are nice people. There are no guarantees.

Can you tell us which city or county you're in?

If you do stay in your car, please be careful.

Have you considered being a lodger? I found a place that was £350 all bills included apart from any phone calls I made from the landline. It was a lovely house, massive, really nice garden, with a deputy head teacher. It was safe.

Or maybe a studio flat if you can afford that on your wages? Obviously bills included makes life a lot easier.

I'm sorry you're in this situation.
If you decide to stay in your car, please google about where is safe to stay. Do you have a car charger for your phone? You can buy them at garages.

Thank you for all the supportive posts. I managed to stay on a friends floor for a the two nights. I'm at work now and have rang the council so I'm waiting for them to come back to me.

I'm in the SE, so average rent for a 1 bed flat is £900PCM, not feasible on your own.

Again, thanks for all the useful comments x

@Beckymad1 has nothing changed in your home circumstances?
The council are likely to try and get you back to your mums if it's at all possible - no overcrowding/risk of violence or abuse etc.
An argument will not be sufficient enough for them to house you when there are already thousands of people waiting.

If your mum refuses to have you at home you're most likely to end up in a 'Nightstop' if they can find you one.
Again, it's down to availability.

I really would be trying to patch things up with your mum and her partner, even if it's just amicable enough so that you have a roof over your head at night.
I know it can be difficult (I've been there!) but sometimes just biting the bullet and apologising is the easiest solution.

They are both borderline alcoholics. Her boyfriend more than her.

He was the one who was screaming in my face telling me to 'fuck off out of his house' so I don't really feel it's a safe place at the moment

I’m always very surprised by posts like these.

Who on earth people think “ohhh I’ll start a thread on MN” rather than googling for an AirBnB room, youth hostel or hotel room.

The OPis 23 and works, so has access to money. She has a car. Hardly destitute eh?

Have you tried renting a room rather than a flat? I know plenty of my younger colleagues in the SE do that for a while. It is a bit cheaper!

Because I knew people here would have better advice than an air bnb?!

Long term I'll find my feet, but the situation was very sudden and I need help short term

I'm in the SE, so average rent for a 1 bed flat is £900PCM, not feasible on your own

Yeah well hardly anyone at age 23 rents their own one bed flat do they?? You look for a room in a shared house. You can get nice enough rooms in nice enough houses in London for £600 a month.

Why tyou think the council will help you I don’t know.

I'm glad you found somewhere to go.

Idk why everyone else thinks it's so unrealistic that a person really can have nowhere to go; head in sand approach, I think. It's as if they don't realise homeless youth is a thing.

Having a mum with a shitty boyfriend, who would choose him over her own child, is awful and I'm sorry you have been put in that position. It's also not unfeasible for the child to then end up in her own shitty relationship (and it is, if he'd see you sleep in your car sooner than give you a sofa if you've had a row).

I hope the council finds you somewhere to get back on your feet x

Because I knew people here would have better advice than an air bnb?!

You could have got yourself warm, safe and comfortable and THEN made a thread asking for long term advice.

sushimonster read the thread properly please. I was in my car.

I said I stayed at a friends temporarily. What is your problem? I came and asked for help, which some lovely people gave me. But comments like yours are not helpful at all. If you don't like that I posted about my situation then remove yourself from the thread.

@Beckymad1 Been there.

My mum was a violent alcoholic.
I was trapped and it was still quicker for me to find the money and rent my own home - the council were so heavily oversubscribed I would've ended up miles and miles away from everything I knew.
I'm also in the SE, it's crippling but unfortunately needs must.

My friend was in the same situation as me - but with a young child. They couldn't offer her anything viable either.

Just don't hang all your hopes on the council finding you somewhere - you need to be proactive and help yourself too.

Surely you need to give some notice for an AirBnB? So its not like you can just book one and go there right away.
OP, I am a little older than you, but also in the SE and in the same position. It's awful.

I will be saving monthly from now on. I will look at rooms to rent near me and try and get all the help I can. X

Surely you need to give some notice for an AirBnB? So its not like you can just book one and go there right away.

Many you can instantly book for the same night.

@SushiMonster you sound completely deluded or maybe you had very privileged upbringing. Airbnb is very expensive. And you dont know much about OPs finances, not everyone can randomly fork out £75/100 for two nights (or more).

OP- I would suggest finding a room to rent long term. I rented in NW while I worked in London and got a nice, big room for £450 and then for £500 in a house share. I don't know anyone who would be renting on their own. Don't know if you can afford it, but if you look at websites such as spareroom there are loads of ads.

Also been there. My mum was a violent, unstable person when it happened to me aged 18. I did manage to make it work out and, to be honest, it was probably the making of me. Have you tried Spare Room and Open Rent? Good luck OP, things will be OK.

Wow, that rent is hideously expensive. The ones around here are about £400 a month. I think it's important to stay where all your network is though.

Yes, a house share sounds like a good idea. Also, your bills should be split depending on how many of you there are, which could help out a lot (i.e. a quarter of all bills versus paying the entire lot yourself). If you can find someone decent, I do recommend being a lodger. The place I stayed was lovely, very safe and quiet with a teacher. Also, all bills included gave me a lot of peace of mind - just making one payment out per month. I would pay that then only have to worry about food, toiletries and travel really.

I don't understand why people have been so abrasive on here. OP was obviously panicking and in a horrible situation. Who wouldn't if they'd just been suddenly kicked out. I am really, really glad you were able to stay with a friend. Make sure you hold onto your job, that's so important. Hope you find something nice, it will be better than staying in that situation. I'd also have a very hard think about your boyfriend - if he was prepared to let you sleep in your car overnight, like another poster says, it doesn't seem good at all. It's better to be single than with someone like that.