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AIBU?

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Original poster

Nowhere to go

70 replies

Beckymad1 · 08/12/2018 14:56

Posting here for traffic.

I've been kicked out of my house (mums house) after an argument with her boyfriend.

I have nowhere to go.... does anyone know any place I can call for a room?

I havent got much money so a hotel isn't really an option

OP posts:
Original poster
Beckymad1 · 08/12/2018 15:19

Yes I work.

No, I've never posted about problems with my mum before. We've always got on very well but she's decided to stand by her boyfriend.

It was a trivial argument with my boyfriend, over nothing, but he has a history of overreacting and blocking me out for days whilst he calms down

OP posts:
WhoTookTheChristmasCookie · 08/12/2018 15:20

You have absolutely no friends/family/acquaintances or colleagues that can put you up until Monday when you can get in touch with a service?

A couple of nights in your car isn't going to be ideal but at least it's some shelter.

Try and speak to your mum in a few hours when things have settled down.

knittedjest · 08/12/2018 15:23

After your last post I'm gonna say it again just to reinforce it - leave it a few hours while everybody calms down and then call your mum and apologize. She will let you come home. I can guarantee it. Whether she will want you to move out or not I can't tell you but she will let almost certainly let you home by tomorrow at the latest.

LIZS · 08/12/2018 15:23

Spareroom or air bnb for a house share shortterm?

YepImafraidIchangeditagain · 08/12/2018 15:26

I would agree with knitted

It's also surprising, at the age of 23, you don't have a single friend who would help you out. You've fallen out with your mum and your partner. Maybe long term, so introspection is in order. There seems to be a pattern.

percheron67 · 08/12/2018 15:30

Are you very tricky to deal with? Your Mum threw you out because of an argument and now you have argued with your boyfriend and he doesn't want you either. Can you see the pattern?!

DRE56322 · 08/12/2018 15:31

Roughly where in the country are you? You can go to a police station and ask for details of homeless shelters for tonight, if you really can't go home.

WilburforceRaven · 08/12/2018 15:35

Google hostels they can be lots cheaper.

knittedjest · 08/12/2018 15:36

I agree that some introspection is in order. Like I said I can almost guarantee she will let you home but you're 23 years old. I don't think she is wrong to stick by her boyfriend if she feels he is right. She's not going to kick a man to a curve because he fought with you. You're not 12 years old anymore, her life doesn't have to revolve around what's best for you. She is entitled to her own life and relationships. And so are you but from what you've posted here it doesn't seem like you are really doing that at the moment. And when you go home I think you and your mum need to sit down and have an adult to adult conversation about boundaries and respect to help you both get there.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 08/12/2018 15:41

Flowers OP. I know in my area the council have an emergency number for situations like yours. The only issue is that if you’re working it can be harder to get housing benefits to cover the cost of a place in a homeless hostel (these are often surprisingly expensive). But I would still call the number for your area and get some advice - you won’t be the first or last in this situation. x

Merename · 08/12/2018 15:46

Oh dear Becky you are getting some harsh responses here. Sorry this is happening to you. I’m sure that there are two sides to a story but kicking you out with no warning is not ok. Have the links other people posted been any use? Just google emergency homeless and the area you live in, your local council will have details of where to go for help. Temporary hostels will be grim but get your name on the housing list ASAP and given you are unintentionally homeless it should hopefully not take too long. Good luck Flowers

happyclutterchucker · 08/12/2018 15:47

I see the 'kick the shit out of the OP when they are down' brigade has already arrived. What is the matter with you lot?

The OP is asking for help and advice, so let's try and do that, shall we?

MojoMoon · 08/12/2018 15:56

You'll most certainly need to accommodate yourself over the weekend.
Unless there is going to be a massive dripfeed about having a disability or special needs, the weekend out of hours cover is not going to do much, if anything, for you.

Can you tell us what town or city you are in? A youth hostel could be an affordable option

Again, I wouldn't assume the council on Monday will definitely provide anything, particularly in the south. They will most likely at best refer you to a shelter or emergency hostel - I volunteer in one of these. This may will mean camp bed in a dorm.

You said you are working - were you paying rent at your mother's? Finding yourself a room in a shared house or as a lodger is probably your best bet- spare room.com and gumtree are good places to start.

knittedjest · 08/12/2018 15:58

Happy

Throwing numbers for shelters at her is over-dramatic and unhelpful and catastriphising a pretty common scenario. I've had about 15 kids/young adults in my house over the years who have been thrown out by their parents. All but two were back home within a week, most by the next day, and those two did not come from homes that would have let them still live there at 23. Sometimes the best help you can give someone is a slap around the ears (metaphorically speaking of course).

Desmondo2016 · 08/12/2018 15:59

What was the argument with your mum's boyf about? Look in the local Facebook pages for rooms to rent.

chicaguapa · 08/12/2018 16:00

Where do you work? Could you go there for shelter and warmth?

leveltime · 08/12/2018 16:00

Flowers Try Shelter? 0808 800 4444 (until 5pm at weekends) www.shelter.org.uk They have immediate practical advice and can also discuss longer-term concerns about where you can live and how.

recklessruby · 08/12/2018 16:00

@becky you re working so do you have money or credit cards to get hot food? You have your stuff so you have a blanket or duvet?
Sit in the car and call your local council s emergency homeless line (Google it).
I know I 've had rows with both dc over stupid things but if you were my daughter I d probably be furious at first then calm down and be worried about you.
Try and call your mum and apologise, she wouldn't want to worry about you sleeping out.
Everyone who s being mean give Becky a break. It can't be all her fault and it's not a good position to be in.

GetOffTheTableMabel · 08/12/2018 16:01

You have had some good advice already about where to look for a bed for the night.
When you have resolved the situation, even temporarily, please do consider whether your boyfriend is right for you. Knowing that you have been kicked out by your mum, he has also thrown you out over something trivial. This is not how someone who is supposed to love you should treat you. Your safety is not his priority. You deserve more.

HomeEdRocks18 · 08/12/2018 16:15

Is there any youth hostel's near you?
They are really cheap - £25 a night usually for a single person.

category12 · 08/12/2018 16:19

Christ, some posters are mean. It's at least as likely that the OP comes from a dysfunctional family and has found an equally dysfunctional relationship as she's "difficult". Bloody hell. Kick someone when they're down, why don't you?

OP, talk to Shelter - they have an online chat service and telephone services. england.shelter.org.uk/get_help

maxthemartian · 08/12/2018 16:20

Please can people not kick someone when they're down and in a scary position, right in the middle of winter?

Iloveautumnleaves · 08/12/2018 16:21

Have you phoned any shelters or hostels?

How’s your foot today? Did you go to the hospital...and I have to ask, why were you kicking a football in the house?

I hope/presume your tests were negative in the end? Because if you are pregnant you really should not be sleeping rough in the car & your boyfriend should be helping you, not adding to your problems.

You need to think about your relationship with him, I’m not sure it’s good for you.

Beachbiscuit · 08/12/2018 16:24

Wow some of the comments in this thread I feel are just cruel.

OP could be living in an area she didn’t grow up and/or had all her time wrapped in work/relationship that most of her friends are acquaintances and she wouldn’t feel comfortable to explain her situation.

I’m sorry this has happened OP Flowers I hope you have been able to get in a hostel or your mum has calmed down. Could you possibly just pretend to agree with your mum’s boyfriend and apologise until you find a place to live with some roommates? I would also try contacting shelter

I found this link: england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/homelessness/guide/homeless_get_help_from_the_council/how_to_ask_the_council_for_help

Maybe it will be of some use to you?

ILoveautumnleaves · 08/12/2018 16:28

Max your support and advice on this thread has been invaluable.

🙄

I don’t know where you live, but the OP is in the UK and winter doesn’t even start for two weeks yet 🤣.

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