Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my dh is being utterly stupid about our Christmas tree?!

43 replies

Owletty · 08/12/2018 13:32

So, growing up we always had a real tree.

When dh and I first got together and got our first house it was small and I had a couple of small artificial trees.

Then I asked for a real tree when we moved to our first normal sized home. Dh moaned and said no because;

  • disposal issues of the tree afterwards
  • we were away over Christmas so pointless he said!

I bought a lovely full sized artificial one which I decorate nicely. I really like it. We've used it for the last six years.

Roll forward to this year and we're, for the first time, hosting his family on Christmas Day. He's just complained about my artificial tree saying that it won't feel like Christmas without a real tree!!

Would you feel your day was a let down because horror of horrors your hosts tree was artificial? AIBU to think he's overreacting?

OP posts:
knittedjest · 08/12/2018 13:35

Wouldn't even notice if the tree was real or fake tbh. I only really care about my own trees and by the time Christmas actually comes I'm all tree'd out.

I would just do two trees. He can have his tree and you can have yours. And he can dispose of his tree when finished.

Original poster
Owletty · 08/12/2018 13:38

Thanks knitted I've suggested we get a small real one for the kitchen diner and keep my usual one in the living room.

Should have said too, that were off away on Boxing Day for a week and when we're back I'll just want the trees away / gone too!

OP posts:
WeeDangerousSpike · 08/12/2018 13:39

So it's only worth the trouble and expense for his family, not for you?

I'd actually be really pissed off about that.

reallyanotherone · 08/12/2018 13:43

I bought a lovely full sized artificial one which I decorate nicely. I really like it. We've used it for the last six years

Why do you do all the buying, decorating etc?

I’d suggest if he wants a real one he gets of his arse, go buys on and sorts the christmas decorations for once.

Charley50 · 08/12/2018 13:44

He sounds like a right twat. I'd be tempted to tell this story to his family.

Original poster
Owletty · 08/12/2018 13:44

wee yes, I feel sad and miffed as I often feel second best (but that's a different thread).

OP posts:
EdWinchester · 08/12/2018 13:45

I hate artificial trees, but I don't think they ruin anyone's christmas!

Original poster
Owletty · 08/12/2018 13:45

really because he's a grinch!

OP posts:
EnglishRose13 · 08/12/2018 13:46

I am a Christmas enthusiast and I would admire your tree either way. Being real or fake wouldn't even cross my mind!

UpstartCrow · 08/12/2018 13:46

He's being a dick. Why did he need to complain, why couldn't he just state he wanted a real tree?

10PollyPockets · 08/12/2018 13:46

He's crazy! If he wants a real tree now maybe suggest he gets one, transfers the decs and packs the artificial one away, I bet he changes his mind.
If you do get a real tree in the future it's worth checking if your council collects them. ours takes trees away for free with the garden waste so you wouldn't have to worry about how you would get rid of it.

Original poster
Owletty · 08/12/2018 13:49

It's got to the point where we've come full circle and I no longer want a real one as I'm happy with my one.

I'll tell him he can get a real one for the kitchen. I bet he'll do nothing about it though ConfusedHmm

OP posts:
knittedjest · 08/12/2018 13:54

That's his prerogative. If he wants one bad enough he will sort it, if not he won't. He can't blame you if he doesn't though because you've told/telling him he can if he wants.

GreenTulips · 08/12/2018 13:57

I agree if he wants to do that then let him do it

Funny how something is only important if it's delegated to someone else

CemetaryGates · 08/12/2018 14:06

Have you asked him why it's ok to get a real tree for his visiting relatives, but it wasn't ok when you wanted one?

I think that is really shitty.

Maybe it would be a good idea to let him manage Christmas. He can decorate the (real) tree that he has been and bought, and he can cook the Christmas dinner, and play the bountiful host to the people that mean the most to him, your in laws. Then he will feel like he has had a proper Christmas.

Tinty · 08/12/2018 14:14

We moved to a house with a high ceiling in the Hallway. DP researched many trees up to 14' tall, that were very expensive. I thought he was being ridiculous looking for huge expensive trees. Eventually he found one in a sale for £150. Still too much for a tree but it was his money, he was very proud of his massive tree massive pain in the ass to put up, but it looks lovely-- we had to buy extra decorations to fill it also.

Roll on 3 years later, DP, "I think we will just get a small tree for the hallway so I don't have to get the massive tree out of the loft and spend hours decorating it". Me and the DC, "not on your nellie, you bought it, we are putting it up every year until it goes bald". Grin

It is 7 years later now, the DC and I are looking forward to the annual, whinging about fun decorating the massive tree he insisted on buying. Smile

Shoxfordian · 08/12/2018 14:16

He wants a real tree for his family but not when you wanted one. Sounds like a twat

FrostyMoanyWind · 08/12/2018 14:24

He's being utterly ridiculous. We have an artificial one because we couldn't afford a real one that size each year. (Tall ceilings). My neighbour didn't even realise it wasn't real! No one has ever commented negatively on it. and it's much nicer than the real one MIL had last year!

m0therofdragons · 08/12/2018 14:25

I'm not sure I'm best placed to comment here. We've always had a fake one as we're not usually here and dc were little. 3 years ago we decorated the tree and I looked at it and cried, threw a dramatic strop and insisted on getting a real tree the next day. I went out and bought a massive 8ft tree that took up about 1/4 if the room. We've had real trees since and it's a joke in our house that mummy chooses the tree as it's too risky for anyone else and it's always too big. I'm honestly normally quite sensible Blush

BumbleBeee69 · 08/12/2018 14:26

He's a Dick OP Flowers

Oldraver · 08/12/2018 14:27

Well surely his family have sen your tree before ? He's being a twat

user1484424013 · 08/12/2018 14:30

You decided to marry an arsehole. Stand your ground.

StroppyWoman · 08/12/2018 14:32

I'd be more upset that a real tree is out of the question when you want one but needed when his relatives visit.

musicposy · 08/12/2018 14:33

I'm sure his family won't care a jot whether you have a real tree or not - and if they do they're being twats.

I too would be upset that it's good for his family but wasn't good enough for you.

I certainly wouldn't go to any extra expense or effort; let him do it if he's so keen.

We have an artificial and have come up against a bit of snobbery about it not being a real tree from a few people. I just ignore. We can't have a real tree because we have a rescue ex-stud dog. He struggles to differentiate between indoors and outdoors at the best of times. He would look at it and think, "hmm it's a tree. I know what to do against trees" Grin

DarlingNikita · 08/12/2018 14:38

So it's only worth the trouble and expense for his family, not for you? I'd actually be really pissed off about that.

Yes, this.

Have the tree you want. Tell him if he wants another, he can knock himself out.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread