Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get my DS a baby doll??

48 replies

JosephineB78 · 08/12/2018 10:52

Hi everyone. I'm a first time poster but been a lurker for a while now.

My DS is 20 months and an only child, he's not at the age where he's asking what he wants for Christmas yet and doesn't understand what it is so we (DH and I) get him things.

Backstory: We visit my SIL a lot and she has 4 kids and her youngest is a girl who's just a few months older than my DS and they've got a playroom area attached to their lounge and my DS loves pushing a little toy pram around with one of the baby dolls and he loves giving the baby her bottle.

So as he's shown interest in something other than cars I bought him a set that's got a baby doll and some accessories and a plastic bath. DH saw it in our room yesterday night and asked about it and was mortified when I told him I'd gotten it for DS. He isn't very stereotypical but he thinks I should've have gotten it as he hasn't asked but he he's not yet 2 and he can't ask for stuff and I'd gotten because he loved his cousins. DH told me to wrap it up for SILs youngest for Christmas.

AIBU?? Is it that bad?

OP posts:
StarsHollow123 · 08/12/2018 10:55

YANBU. What a lovely gift for your DS, especially as he has shown an interest in it 😊

DontWannaBeObamasElf · 08/12/2018 10:56

Ha! Give him the doll. What’s your husband scared of? That your son will be a dad in the future? Or that he’ll.....catch the gay?

Snowwontbelong · 08/12/2018 10:56

Every one of my ds's got a doll and a buggy for first birthday /Christmas!! Ds now 4 was obsessed with taking dolls home from supermarket shelves. Like he felt he was saving them or something!
Does your dh not push a pram /carry a baby?

NotTired · 08/12/2018 10:58

I've bought my almost 2 year old DS a doll and pushchair for Christmas too. He has been eyeing them up in shops for a long time and loves pushing the pushchairs at nursery.

ItWentInMyEye · 08/12/2018 10:59

YANBU. Both my boy's had dolls at a similar age

ExcitedForChristmas18 · 08/12/2018 11:00

Get him what he wants..It doesn't matter what toy it is, as long as he loves it!

quarterpast · 08/12/2018 11:00

Definitely give your DS the doll! My boys all loved babies and prams at that age. It's gender stereotyping nonsense that being nurturing and looking after babies is just for girls. Tell your DH the 1950's rang and they want his outdated opinions back!

Bouncebacker · 08/12/2018 11:02

Definitely not being unreasonable- and you know it! Does your DH object to any othe ethe other things you buy your son without him asking for them?

My DS has a doll and a buggy at a similar age - he changed its nappy and cuddled it because he was playing at being a parent and that’s what parents do! It’s a great gift for a child.

FishCanFly · 08/12/2018 11:04

I wouldn't make such a big deal of it to make it a X-mas present. Just buy him a doll

knittedjest · 08/12/2018 11:06

No problem what so ever.

I have a lot more daughters than I do sons and as a result had way more traditionally girl toys than boy toys and it never did my sons any damage playing with them. They can still pee standing up and kick a ball and all other sort of manly things despite playing with dolls as children.

Seriously, don't worry.

Buggeroffbingbunny · 08/12/2018 11:10

I’ve bought my bush thrned 2 year old a doll and pushchair for Xmas. He likes playing with them at preschool and is having a baby sister in spring so thought it might introduce the idea.

Original poster
JosephineB78 · 08/12/2018 11:11

DHs reasoning is that because DS didn't ask for it it wouldn't seem right Hmm so he'd basically be all right if DS had asked for it directly which makes no sense to me. Plus DS can't ask for stuff at his age! I think he may eventually agree - he even has a picture of DS wearing sparkly yellow fairy wings.

He's never objected to it when we visit SIL either so I don't understand why he has a problem now really...

Thanks for the replies. Will definitely show him them when he gets back from work

OP posts:
Marley45 · 08/12/2018 11:11

My nearly 2 year old DS has a buggy and doll for Christmas too. He loves playing with them at nursery and other people’s houses.

Lucylugs · 08/12/2018 11:12

My DS played with his sisters dolls and buggy and loved it so much we got him a baby doll for Xmas. He really loved that doll.Smile My DH didn't care but my brother thought it was odd.Hmm

A builder and his 16yr old son who was helping were visiting around that time and the Dad said " you used to love those dolls you had didnt you" son replied fondly "yeah I loved dressing them up". Neither of them cared a jot.

StorminaBcup · 08/12/2018 11:13

Both of mine have been through a doll phase. It's how they learn about social relationships and self care (washing, brushing, feeding). If he's going to play with it, let him have it. A toy is a toy. I bought ds a buggy to push his doll around in (pink because it was the cheapest off amazon), and a friend commented that she'd bought the same one but in blue (because he was also a boy). Always makes a me a bit Confused. It's a colour. DS didn't care.

EnglishRose13 · 08/12/2018 11:15

My son also loves a doll and his favourite colour is pink!

I'd love him to have a doll, the only reason he doesn't is because it's his favourite toy at group and I don't want him to get bored if he's got all the same toys at home.

I think boys with dolls is the cutest, and your husband is being an idiot (my brother was exactly the same when his son wanted a doll!).

knittedjest · 08/12/2018 11:16

Pfft. If I waited for my toddlers to directly ask for things before getting them they would have never received anything. Just 'compromise' with him and tell him that if you give it to DS and he doesn't like it you will give it to your SIL. Your son will love it and it will be fine.

Icklepup · 08/12/2018 11:16

Definitely give him the doll

JustABetterPlayer · 08/12/2018 11:17

Before he’s at school buy whatever you/he like, after that good god no.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 08/12/2018 11:19

Oh I do get so sick of these men STILL coming out with this claptrap.

Does he do any care for his son? Does he change his nappy, bath him, feed him? Does he push him in his pram/pushchair? If he does, then what the FUCK problem is there in his son doing that too?

Of course if he's a hidebound male chauvinistic pig, then I can see there'd be a bit more of a problem - but then why would you put up with him?

Just point out his cognitive dissonance - if it's ok for HIM to look after his baby, then it's ok for his SON to pretend to look after a baby.

FFS.

NottonightJosepheen · 08/12/2018 11:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PennyMordauntsLadyBrain · 08/12/2018 11:23

Go for it!

My BIL and FIL were up a few weeks ago and nephew started playing with DD’s pink pram. Otherwise lovely BIL was mortified and my FIL started teasing him about nephew’s choice of toy.

It pissed me off no end- I piped up that he’s probably attracted to it because he sees his Mum and Dad pushing his baby sister in a pram and he’s just role playing.

They don’t know what’s a “boy” or a “girl” toy at that age, and parents putting their gender stereotypes on a preschooler’s toy needs to give themselves a shake.

HopeGarden · 08/12/2018 11:25

I got one of my DS’s a doll st about that age because he really liked the dolls at playgroup.

Lindtnotlint · 08/12/2018 11:27

Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhh

Buy the doll.

Grin
FloatingthroughSpace · 08/12/2018 11:30

My son is almost 12 now and has chucked out most of his soft toys, but "baby Fred" still sits on the end of his bed and still gets the occasional cuddle. He has a jumper, some trousers and dungarees and every so often I notice his outfit has changed 😊

Your dh is being sexist. Such a shame.