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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are they BU to do this publicly?

41 replies

PurplePenguins · 07/12/2018 23:14

I'm a nurse. I work with a young, Muslim girl who chooses to wear a niqab (the only one who does in our section). She removes it as she enters the hospital and puts it on again as she leaves. She never wears it on the wards etc.

Every Friday, we have a debrief and it was mentioned, in a general sort of way, that wearing a niqab hinders communication and puts up a barrier. It is also very unprofessional. AIBU to think that, if they have a problem, they should have pulled her to on side and had a quiet word?

OP posts:
GaryBaldbiscuit · 07/12/2018 23:17

Sounds very cowardly, I guess they had their reasons

Fabellini · 07/12/2018 23:19

But if she’s not wearing it when she’s actually working, then their arguments are invalid surely?
It can only hinder communication and put up a barrier if it’s being worn, and it’s not - so.....non issue.

VictoryOrValhalla · 07/12/2018 23:22

Why were they discussing it if no-one wears one at work? Do you think she has been told in the past not to wear it and that’s why she takes it off?

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 07/12/2018 23:23

YANBU
It often makes sense to do a general talk to everyone rather than singling someone out. But in this case the object is defeated as your colleague is the only person it could apply to. In effect she was pulled up on something in front of everyone else.
Also: if she doesn't wear the Niqab at work I don't even see what the problem is.

Notreallyhere23 · 07/12/2018 23:30

Without hearing the whole talk, my comment might be irrelevant but could it possibly be something genuinely general (ie. a new document or patient issue elsewhere) but because of knowing your colleague you’ve mistakenly thought it was directed at her when it wasn’t intended that way?

Like I say though, I don’t know the whole thing or the tone of the speech etc.

babysharkah · 07/12/2018 23:39

She's not wearing it at work though so I can't see it's aimed at her?

Marcipex · 07/12/2018 23:50

It seems a pointless talk topic if no one wears a niqab anyway.
Do any nurses or other medical staff wear one? Is it allowed?

wafflyversatile · 07/12/2018 23:55

Why would they say it's unprofessional? That's pretty insulting.

Also lots of things hinder communications. I've been in my job a long time. No niqab wearers yet communication comes up again and again as an issue.

FeeLock28 · 07/12/2018 23:57

Presumably there's a uniform policy, which should define what is acceptable for patient contact. She doesn't wear it whilst on duty, from what you say.

What people wear to and from work is pretty much none of anyone's business, particularly in a debrief as it's not relevant to the clinical situation.

Maelstrop · 08/12/2018 00:03

Many schools have an unwritten policy of no face coverings. There was one in the news a couple of years back which asked a TA not to wear hers as the primary children she was helping found it intimidating. 55% of communication (according to one study) is non verbal so covering the face/expressions can make it more difficult for people to understand others.

JamForBrains · 08/12/2018 11:53

@babysharkah
It had to be aimed at her as she is the only one who wears a niqab outside of working hours.

JamForBrains · 08/12/2018 11:55

@notreallyhere23
I wasn't the only one who thought it was directed at her. Nearly everyone else thought so too. She is the only one in our department that wears one.

JamForBrains · 08/12/2018 11:58

@marcipex
No it's not allowed as it means people cannot see her face and therefore can't read her facial expression or read her lips if they have a hearing impairment. This is especially important for children.

OutragedERIC · 08/12/2018 11:59

It sounds like a generic brief tbh

Caprisunorange · 08/12/2018 11:59

Are you sure they were talking about her? Maybe it was just a normal update thing

Caprisunorange · 08/12/2018 12:00

Eh? Did you name change OP?

GaryBaldbiscuit · 08/12/2018 12:00

perhaps someone raised it because they saw her, so they looked into it and decided to put above brief out

JamForBrains · 08/12/2018 12:04

@wafflyversatile
It is seen as unprofessional because it covers her face and it can scare some patients. It hinders communication because patients cannot see her expressions or, if they have a hearing impairment, cannot read her lips. All this this my friend understands and agrees with so doesn't wear it on duty.

JamForBrains · 08/12/2018 12:06

NC a while a go. Old name is coming up again although new name is on the reply ??????

OutragedERIC · 08/12/2018 12:06

Interesting name change fail. OP has been a teacher and a bus driver so far. Now a nurse.

Guess some people just can’t hold down a job eh Grin

JamForBrains · 08/12/2018 12:14

@outragedEric
That is how it was worded but, with only 1 person in the department wearing a niqab, nearly the whole department have assumed it was aimed at her. We have a uniform code stating what is and isn't permitted which states that anything which covers the face is not permitted including surgical masks. This was emailed out about 3 weeks ago and then this comment in the debrief was just about women wearing a niqab.

JamForBrains · 08/12/2018 12:15

I've never been a bus driver but I was a teacher before retraining.

GaryBaldbiscuit · 08/12/2018 12:17

and no the are NBU to be raising this publicly

Lifeisabeach09 · 08/12/2018 12:34

I don't feel you are being unreasonable.
Perhaps someone should have pointed out at the debrief that no one wears the niqab whilst at work currently so it's a bit of a redundant unless it was a trust-wide debrief.
If your colleague feels singled out, she should address with HR and management.

AlaskanOilBaron · 08/12/2018 12:35

If this did happen, I presume it's a box-ticking exercise.

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