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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To raise a formal complaint regarding school isolation

664 replies

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 07/12/2018 19:13

Last week a group of 20-30 kids were throwing acorns at each other in the school playing field, a child who also throwing the acorns, got hit in the eye which I've been led to believe required medical treatment, teacher asked who hit the child and DS said he believed it was his acorn, and that he was sorry, and did not mean to cause anyone harm.

He was given a days isolation plus after school detention, however on the day with only 10 mins notice.

His head of year called and said as he admitted it was him, they had no choice to follow the isolation process, however admitted they thought it was harsh, however rules and rules which we will adhere to and support the school with.

DS has NEVER been in isolation.

My AIBU is, Ds was made to sit in a 2 by 4 booth, being made to sit upright and face a white wall for the whole of the school day. NO SCHOOL WORK WAS GIVEN AT ALL

He could not tell the supervisor he had no course work as he isn't allowed to talk while in isolation, and tbh nor should even have to ask for course work, its the supervisors role to ensure DS has course work, which is the policy in DS school.

Only one teacher called the isolation supervisor to ask if DS was present, however did not send course work, not one of his other 4 teachers called to ask if he was present.

The isolation supervisor has confirmed all of the above is true Hmm his HOY has advised us that they have passed it on to the isolation manager who will be calling me, however even after chasing it up everyday for the past week and leaving messages for them to call me I am still awaiting the phone call.

My own DS ended up requiring medical treatment as he endured a headache with sickness and sensitivity to light, ds has never had a migraine before isolation, which the A&E doctors advised was the cause.

OP posts:
skybluee · 07/12/2018 23:07

Yeah the poster that said what it's done is taught him to lie is right.

For what it's worth I've had horrendous migraines triggered by bright white surfaces.

Anasnake · 07/12/2018 23:07

5 mins ??? Yeh that'll work Hmm
Child is 12 by the way

Original poster
HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 07/12/2018 23:07

YouCantTourniquetTheTaint - you've summed up exactly how I feel and what questions I want answered. Thank you

ReanimatedSGB - DS has never been in a position to question adults tbh, this is the 1st time hes really has any punishment of any type, except at home... hes always getting wrong for not doing his chores.. however I completely agree with you, however ds owned up, he told his teacher it was him, and he accepted he was wrong in his actions, I can't argue, and tbh nor would I have had.

Bumsex what on earth are you talking about! I didn't say he was diagnosed with a migraine YOU DID, I also didn't say that him looking at the wall caused his migraine, HIS DOCTORS DID!

It is not DS responsibility to ensure while in isolation he has course work, the school policy is that the supervisor is responsibility for ensuring DS has course work, and considering this was DS FIRST TIME in isolation, he adhered to a set of rules he was given on a sheet of A4 paper, in which he was told he was not allowed to speak at ANY TIME!!!

Anasnake*, No DS was not on a laptop, he was given NONE work at all, not even a pen and paper.

FGS he could be in the middle of an asthma attack or something, if he was, what would he do? Just die politely and quietly? Worra have you ever had an asthma attack? I have, and I can assure you anyone having an asthma attack will be unable to put there hand up, again it is not my childs responsibility to ensure he has course work, he also did not know about his isolation until 10 mins beforehand.

BooForYou as could it have easily have been the injured child injuring another child, they were also bang in the middle of throwing acorns in the air, it could have easily been them injuring someone.

I'm already governor at my youngest childs school, as well as working full time in a very senior role, not to mention I am Chair to a chartered football club, as well as being a Mum and wife.

I should NOT also have to become a governor so the school adheres to their own policies Hmm

OP posts:
Iamrightok · 07/12/2018 23:07

The dukes
When you become a School governor you will be able to go in and observe lessons, talk through behaviour policies etc. and hare your ideas on suitable punishment

HolyandWild · 07/12/2018 23:09

You sound like a sensible mum who knows he made a daft choice and had an unreasonable consequence but I would still let it go and know that he learned his lesson

Thedukes · 07/12/2018 23:09

The child was told he couldn't speak. As a young normally obedient child, he probably took that quite literally. He had never been in isolation before, so didn't know anything about it, just that he was told to not speak, sit up straight, and stare straight ahead.
I challenge any of you right now, to sit up straight, shut your mouth and sit straight ahead at a wall for just 10 minutes.
Come back to me when ye're done. Thanks.

Original poster
HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 07/12/2018 23:10

Bugger I would normally agree that you would not normally need to call the isolation unit, if he was on the isolation list, however DS was not, his HOY has confirmed this.

OP posts:
Iamrightok · 07/12/2018 23:12

Thedukes
But I didn’t hit another person in the eye with an acorn, so I don’t have too?

Thedukes · 07/12/2018 23:13

I'm hoping for no posts for 10 minutes until I see how all you dudes fare out at just a fraction of the punishment this young child got.

Coyoacan · 07/12/2018 23:13

We can’t bring back actual draconian punishments like the cane

I was caned all through primary school. When I got to secondary school and we were given detention or extra homework I honestly would have preferred the cane.

However these detention booths are whole other level of unpleasantness.

Hubbleisback · 07/12/2018 23:13

Boneyback to some extent it would be good to go back to a time when children with severe difficulties could be taught by teachers qualified to teach them . Also when teachers could teach without having to spend a disproportionate amount of time disciplining those who for whatever reason are unable to engage in learning. Many children have been put in mainstream education not for their benefit but for financial reasons alone. Don't be duped.

BachAtTheMoon · 07/12/2018 23:14

the option to put your hand up and ask for work My son did this. He was sent for a day offsite isolation. Whole school day of sitting in a small room with a desk, a chair, pen and a piece of paper.

With toilet breaks When my son was 'permitted' to return to school he had to complete his original day in isolation. He was too anxious to ask to go to the toilet, so after four hours of sitting staring at a wall he wet himself. At 14. In front of other children.

All of the above were fully corroborated by the school. They apologised but sent him back to isolation two days later for 'knocking his water bottle off a table' which they admitted was probably accidental

But I shouldn't be 'that parent' and complain because I have to follow the procedures and support the school? Like fuck.

BoneyBackJefferson · 07/12/2018 23:14

When you become a School governor you will be able to go in and observe lessons,

Just FYI, this isn't true.

Thedukes · 07/12/2018 23:15

Well 20 to 30 of them were throwing acorns. He just happened to be unfortunate to either have good aim or bad aim whichever way you want to look at it.

BoneyBackJefferson · 07/12/2018 23:16

Hubbleisback

I'm not being "duped" by anything, the education system in England could be improved upon. But lets not pretend that the olden days of education where some sort of utopia.

caroloro · 07/12/2018 23:17

Isolation booths are torture, pure and simple torture. No wonder your poor son was poorly, his body will have been hugely stressed. I genuinely do not understand the mindset that allows people to think this is an ok way to treat another human being. I do not understand why there isn't a huge safeguarding outcry, or legal action over breach of human rights. It's more damaging than corporal punishment.

Fortunately, our local secondary school recognises this and uses restorative practices rather than punishment. No isolation, not even any detentions. Their exclusion rate has dropped from about 200 days a few years ago to just two days last year. Their model of behaviour management is recognised as exemplary and they frequently have delegations of head teachers from other parts of the country and even from other countries visiting to learn more about how to do things differently.

I think you're entirely right to be concerned that someone has tortured your son in this way. However, I'm guessing you signed up to the behaviour management policy Confused

Iamrightok · 07/12/2018 23:17

BoneyBackJefferson
Happens in my school. Pre planned and with a specific focus but governors can, and do, come into the school regularly and sit in on lessons.

SmileEachDay · 07/12/2018 23:18

Bach

That’s shit, and it sounds like you’ve done exactly what you need to do to get your son closer to what he needs.

That is not the situation described by the OP.

Thedukes · 07/12/2018 23:18

Why not punish the whole lot of them. Because this boy was honest and owned up as he believed it was his acorn that had hit the other boy (who was also firing acorns).
I honestly can't believe some of you on here.
Sometimes I read MN and it's co-sleeping and breastfeeding and mollycoddling, then you want them tortured at 12? Haha.

I give up.

BachAtTheMoon · 07/12/2018 23:21

It's not the same situation, no. But these incidents all stem from the isolation oriented behaviour policies which are now wide spread in a lot of schools, and to read that people are condoning this kind of treatment towards children is disgusting.

Anasnake · 07/12/2018 23:21

I was on isolation duty today, most of our staff have a timetabled lesson supervising the iso room. 5 kids working quietly on laptops. They went to lunch 20 mins before the rest of the school. Toilet breaks allowed (the loo is next door). No one was tortured Hmm

SmileEachDay · 07/12/2018 23:23

Yep. It’s the same at my school ana

SmileEachDay · 07/12/2018 23:24

dukes it isn’t solitary confinement.

Iamrightok · 07/12/2018 23:25

The dukes
It was solitary confinement.
There were other people in the room.