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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids in the hair dressers today

131 replies

adoggymum · 07/12/2018 12:04

I went for my haircut this morning, I always look forward to it as it's a nice salon- not bad prices and they make me feel really pampered (think head massage when washing it, fancy blow dry, glass of wine/fizz whilst you're having it done)

I paid £40 for a wash, cut and blow dry.

Upon arrival there was a family of 4- 2 young kids, one 3 ish and one probably 5 or 6, swinging around on the chairs and running around their (I assume grandmother) whilst she was having her hair coloured. The parents just sat back on the sofas watching- the dad was even on the tablet!

Neither of them made any effort to calm the children down, tell them off for swinging on the chairs/running around/screaming etc. And the grandmother even asked them to maybe take them out for a walk into the town for a while as she was having her colour set and the mother just took one look at the weather and said 'nah it's not nice out there is it?'.

It was myself, the grandmother and another customer in there- even the hair stylists were looking annoyed but obviously didn't want to say anything. For the entire hour I was there the kids were allowed to roam, the parents sat doing absolutely no parenting or attempts at distraction and none of them were even having their hair cut!

A customer came in towards the end of my appointment and didn't have anywhere to sit as the parents had all the kids stuff over the sofas and both were sitting on one each separately.

AIBU to have wanted the parents and children to leave? They weren't paying customers, kids were running riot, parents not parenting and they were ruining my special treat to myself, I couldn't relax with the kids running about and spinning on the chair next to me :(

What do you guys think? Should I have said something do you think?

Note- I'm not some grumpy old lady either, I'm a 20 year old student.

OP posts:
BumDisease · 07/12/2018 20:37

"They didn't have learning difficulties- the children were fine. I know children with learning difficulties and these children were undisciplined, hyper and not parented properly.

So what if I wanted compensation now? That's my decision, I was there, I know how it really was"

"I know children with learning difficulties"

lol you know nothing.

Fishandthechips · 07/12/2018 21:02

You have met every child with learning difficulties then have you..?
These children may have had learning difficulties, they may not have and it might have been a convenient excuse but you have no idea which one it is. If they did have learning difficulties it may well have explained why crayons and reading wouldnt have cut it...
I get why your annoyed by the way and do actually believe that they should have given you some kind of compensation. I also think that the children should have been removed when the grandmother basically said as much. I just dont like the 'they look fine so therefore there just naughty' attitude. My son is developmentally delayed and believe me its hard enough on a daily basis without throwing in the 'well he looks fine so your probably making it up' opinions in there. Also I cant tell you what id give for crayons and reading to distract him for more than 5 seconds...

BlancheM · 07/12/2018 21:04

Stay in my lane? What the fuck?
And you have NO IDEA whether the children have learning disabilities. The fact they do, doesn't suit your agenda for some reason. Don't be a dick.

StoneofDestiny · 07/12/2018 21:08

Oh come on........nobody wants to pay for a relaxing pampering experience while kids are running amok and parents look on! The kids shouldn't have been there, they were not customers. It was an inappropriate location for the kids and the salon should have dealt with it.
How would people react if the same scenario happened in the cinema while you are trying to watch and listen to a film. What about dining in a restaurant with kids yelling and running about. What about in the beauticians were you are having your massage?
If the kids can't behave, they shouldn't be taken in to places where a calm and restful environment is expected.

TeddybearBaby · 07/12/2018 21:14

How did the children manage to sit down calmly after a word if they have SEN preventing it? And they had no need to be in that situation anyway....... sitting with their parents watching their nan get her hair done. Sounds so boring. You didn’t get the full treatment experience so whether your hair is nice or not I’d still want to compensate you in some way if it was my business!

OrangeSamphire · 07/12/2018 21:22

So you had a shit time at the hairdressers because some children were noisy and irritating.

Maybe that mum has driven miles to see an elderly relative who can’t get to do things like going to the hairdresser unless there is someone to drive her?

Maybe that mum home educates her children. Because of SEN. Or maybe because it suits them.

Maybe she’s a shit parent. Maybe she’s not.

But all this ‘they should have been at school’ nonsense peddled on this thread is daft. Children legally have to receive an education. They don’t have to do it in a school or at a set time.

Original poster
adoggymum · 07/12/2018 21:38

@TeddybearBaby thank you! Exactly! You've nailed it.

OP posts:
Original poster
adoggymum · 07/12/2018 21:38

@OrangeSamphire the grandmother was perfectly mobile! She looked quite young too as well.

OP posts:
Original poster
adoggymum · 07/12/2018 21:39

@StoneofDestiny Thank you. X

OP posts:
woodhill · 07/12/2018 21:56

So drop the grandma off and do something with the dc

Schuyler · 07/12/2018 22:01

There were 3 adults and only 1 was having their hair done? YANBU to think the parents could have attempted to do something with the children.

StoneofDestiny · 07/12/2018 22:03

Not every kid running amok has special needs. Sometimes it's bad behaviour unchallenged by bad parenting.

GabsAlot · 07/12/2018 22:10

so they managed to sit down quietly after u left

how conveinient=bit lame i woldnt be going back there

Original poster
adoggymum · 07/12/2018 22:17

@GabsAlot that's what I thought :/ it's funny they decided to finally say something AFTER I left😕

OP posts:
tillytrotter1 · 07/12/2018 22:42

unfortunately this kind of benign parenting is becoming more and more common

Should be 'non-parenting' not benign.
My foot would have developed a terrible sticking out twitch!

tillytrotter1 · 07/12/2018 22:43

Maybe that mum has driven miles to see an elderly relative who can’t get to do things like going to the hairdresser unless there is someone to drive her?

Always someone to make excuses for brattish behaviour, that covers the parents and the children.

Thehop · 07/12/2018 22:47

Shitty parenting, they are brats of the future. Sorry your appt was spoiled. I very rarely go to the hairdresser because I can’t organise childcare very often and refuse to inflict my children on women who have escaped theirs.

StoneofDestiny · 07/12/2018 22:56

Maybe that mum has driven miles to see an elderly relative who can’t get to do things like going to the hairdresser unless there is someone to drive her?

Many the OP had just been to the funeral of an elderly relative, is suffering a terminal condition and has had no sleep all night from a teething child! This appointment might have been her rare chance at 'me time'.

Who knows what is going on in people's life? You don't inflict your bad parenting on others.

tor8181 · 07/12/2018 23:12

all this rubbish comments on its a school day makes my angry

not every one attends school as its optional

its a parental choice to choose where you want your childs education to take place,a school or educate them yourself

thousand if not millions are home educated and its rising very rapidly by the day by either parents taking children out of a system thats failed their child or not ever send them to begin with

dont just assume a child over 4 is supposed to be in school as home education is a legal option

also size might come in to it,you think they were 5 or 6 but they might have been under school age

at 3 my now 8 y old was in 6-7 clothes and looked roughly 6 adn people would talk to him and treat him like he was as he was and still is a big boy,hes 8 and 5ft 1 now in mens s

i agree with the annoyance of the parents lack of actions and its wasnt acceptable behavior of the kids or adults,but the judgmental posters posting about well they should have been in school to begin with pissed me right off

Original poster
adoggymum · 07/12/2018 23:24

@tor8181 the older one was DEFINITELY school age. No doubt about that.

Surely if they were homeschooled anyways they should have been home learning at 11am on a Friday?

Also the parents paid no attention to their kids- how on earth could they home school if they can't commit to basic parenting?

OP posts:
Original poster
adoggymum · 07/12/2018 23:25

@StoneofDestiny thank you. Thankfully none of those circumstances applied to me but our puppy has just recently had surgery so we've had many sleepless nights up with him crying and I am a full time law student so studying never stops! It was my only free morning this week.

OP posts:
Original poster
adoggymum · 07/12/2018 23:27

@Thehop you are a very kind woman- I'm sure your children are too, being brought up by you! I don't have any kids but I'm a full time law student so only had this morning off in 2 weeks. Plus pup has just had operation so we're up all day/night tending to him when he's crying in pain.

OP posts:
Original poster
adoggymum · 07/12/2018 23:27

@tillytrotter1 😂😂😂 I wish you'd been there!

OP posts:
Fontofnoknowledge · 07/12/2018 23:28

God forbid these two useless self absorbed twats for parents have any part in Home education. It just adds to the scary lack of regulation in the Home Ed field .

Parents who Home educate properly would have plenty of tactics and experience of entertaining restless youngsters. From the sound of what OP has described, these were you common or Garden feckless parents whose child(ren) should DEFINITELY be in school but instead had been taken out , in order that the parents could hand them over to grandma.

You can make every excuse under the sun, they maybe super anxious parents with SN children whom they normally Home educate in a self created forest environment... but usually the simplest answer is the most accurate. They are a couple of lazy self absorbed parents who simply can't be bothered.

Original poster
adoggymum · 07/12/2018 23:34

@Fontofnoknowledge THANK YOU.

I'm friends with a parent on my Facebook who home educates (took her 2 youngest 7&9 out of school last year due to one having an illness) and she consistently uses the wrong 'their, there & they're' + grammar on Facebook- it's honestly crazy!

Is there not a system to vet which parents do have the ability to home school? Surely some knowledge of standard child education should be mandatory? Some parents do it right but so many kids must suffer and have bad educations because of home schooling🤔

OP posts:
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