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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not understand why 'incels' attract such a lack of empathy on here?!

61 replies

TheSilentLamb · 06/12/2018 22:48

Let's start with defining an incel

  • A man or woman who has trouble forming a romantic or sexual relationship with another person for any reason.

What it doesn't necessarily mean is that they use prostitutes, are creepy or socially awkward.

Many are just shy people who lack self esteem.

Some are highly successful, outgoing and friendly people who just freeze up when it comes to expressing themselves or their feelings to others in a romantic context.

I know of many many and women who this applies to - lovely people and to see the comments on here directed towards them is outrageous in some threads.

Why can't people understand that some people just aren't lucky when it comes to relationships?

OP posts:
Butchyrestingface · 06/12/2018 23:21

And I was referring to the posters haranguing the OP for being involuntary celibate, not the OP.

ClosdesMouches · 06/12/2018 23:21

Yet another faux naive first thread.
1/10

Hmm
ChristmassyJumper · 06/12/2018 23:22

Incel doesn’t mean what you think it means, OP.

TheSilentLamb · 06/12/2018 23:24

Yet another faux naive first thread. 1/10

Eh?! I dont know about you, but thanks to this thread I've actually learned two things.

  1. I was understandably confused - my use of the term was the original definition

  2. it definitely isn't correct these days

OP posts:
ChasedByBees · 06/12/2018 23:44

Probably best to double check a definition before posting and basing your entire post on that definition. It is worth reading further into as there is a movement of really creepy men out there

sackrifice · 06/12/2018 23:49

it's now been hijacked by woman-hating scumbags, unfortunately.

That's a first.

TheSilentLamb · 06/12/2018 23:50

Yep, lesson learned.

OP posts:
Slytherdor · 07/12/2018 00:01

Op listen to this! You will find it very interesting

itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/reply-all/id941907967?mt=2&i=1000411090966

Grilledaubergines · 07/12/2018 00:04

I think the first step OP is for you yourself to understand the term.

halfwitpicker · 07/12/2018 00:10

Isn't incel a think body?

TheSilentLamb · 07/12/2018 00:24

I think the first step OP is for you yourself to understand the term

I was right in my understanding. I was just 20 years out of date!

OP posts:
MarilynSlumroe · 07/12/2018 00:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee · 07/12/2018 02:02

Why can't people understand that some people just aren't lucky when it comes to relationships?

I’d imagine most people can imagine that. 🤷🏻‍♀️

GunpowderGelatine · 07/12/2018 02:16

Probably because Male incels believe they are entitled to sex and that women are bitches for not willingly fucking them. Sex is not a necessity for anyone, why on earth should they be shown empathy?

Seriously OP you sympathise with men who have strips because they can't get their dicks wet?

PyongyangKipperbang · 07/12/2018 02:29

I remember reading about Incels who thought it should be legal for a woman to provide sex to her brother if he couldnt get it elsewhere, and if he forced her to then it shouldnt be rape.......

Terrifying that these men are in the same world I am in.

Ereshkigal · 07/12/2018 02:34

manifesto of that guy who murdered women because he was still a virgin and couldn’t handle the fact that all these sluts

He wasn't the only one. There was an admirer of his. They call him "the Supreme Gentleman".

CoughLaughFart · 07/12/2018 02:36

And you know women ‘incels’. How does that work then?

The same as it does for male ones. Hope that helps.

Zfactorstar · 07/12/2018 02:49

I post semi regularly on an anti incel Reddit page. The shit that incels post online will make your toes curl. Condoning violence, rape, sex slaves and pedophilia to name a few. Personally have been messaged by some saying what a whore I am for having more then one sexual partner, that I only am good for having sex (in a lot more graphic terms). Incels, true incels, are not sad lonely virgins. They are raging, hate filled misogynists.

GunpowderGelatine · 07/12/2018 02:54

@CoughLaughFart when have female incels ever threatened to rape men?

Pachyderm1 · 07/12/2018 06:17

Why would you start a whole thread about this without doing even the smallest amount of googling first? No wonder you don’t understand, you haven’t even tried to.

NotANotMan · 07/12/2018 06:33

Well this thread is a trip

Gwenhwyfar · 07/12/2018 06:37

I am involuntarily celibate, but I'm not an 'incel'. The word incel is used by red pill followers. Look that up if you want to be horrified.

DarklyDreamingDexter · 07/12/2018 07:14

Why would you start a whole thread about this without doing even the smallest amount of googling first? Yes, that's what I was wondering too.

OP, if you want to know what an incel is, try Googling Eliot Rodger, the poster boy for incels,, then see if you have any sympathy for their plight.

gamerwidow · 07/12/2018 07:20

Incels aren’t just men who’ve been unlucky in love they are men who think they have a right to have sex with a woman just because they want to.
I have never heard the term being used for a woman.
No one has a right to sex. Women are not wrong to not sleep with you if they don’t want to no matter how sad you are about it.

DisrespectfulAdultFemale · 07/12/2018 07:24

OP, you need to learn the difference between "empathy" and "sympathy" if you're going to complain.