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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How tired is normal? Work 4 days, 1 DC

71 replies

onechildortwo · 06/12/2018 21:51

I work four days a week (full time but compressed hours), DH five. We have a DD aged 2.5.

If I do nothing all week, no social engagements and very little housework etc in evenings I can just about survive but am still shattered by the weekend. Work is pretty stressful but office based. Commute only 45 mins which I think is not too bad (work in London).

It feels like a very fine balance and if anything messes it up (extra long day at work or - shock horror - social engagement during the week) I am so tired it's just not worth it and actually end up feeling very ill.

I guess what I'm asking is, is this just life with young DC, especially if you work? Can't decide if it's my lifestyle that's the problem or if there is actually something wrong with me. How do others cope?!

For full disclosure, I've been to GP and had blood tests which showed slightly underactive thyroid so have been taking meds which help a bit. Not anaemic. Eat quite healthily, drink only very rarely. Don't get enough exercise...

OP posts:

Furgggggg12 · 07/12/2018 16:54

Lone parent working FT. Can be tired but not exhausted, I look forward to Fridays though. Having a routine helps.

Zoflorabore · 08/12/2018 05:39

I definitely recommend Michael Sealey on YouTube, he's brilliant. Been listening to him for about 6 months now and he has lots of videos, I've still not got through them all!

lljkk · 08/12/2018 06:57

Compressed hours is exhausting.

FreeButtonBee · 08/12/2018 07:29

I had my bit d levels checked and they were barely adequate, just above insufficient (57, ‘normal’ range apparently 50-100 but having. I did some reading, over 100 is better.

So I’ve been taking a spray vit d with vit k (which helps you absorb it better) - 3000iu or 75mg - With a once a week dose of 9000 to get my levels up given there is practically no chance of making it through sunshine this time of year.

I feel about a million times better than this time last year, physically. I don’t get none crushingly tiredness.

I’ve also been taking vitamin b12 on top.

It’s very cheap and worth a try!

StormcloakNord · 08/12/2018 08:03

I'm also permanently exhausted.

1 DD, she's 4. I'm at work 2 days a week and college the other 3 retraining.

It doesn't sound like much but I'm just absolutely knackered by the time the weekend is here. Mentally I'm spent and want to do nothing.

masterandmargarita · 08/12/2018 08:07

exercise helps. The fitter you are the higher your energy levels.

Original poster

onechildortwo · 08/12/2018 08:17

master I read this as I'm lying in bed having skipped the exercise class I was planning to attend in a bid to be a bit healthier...

Still, at least DH has DD so I get a lie in!

OP posts:

pickledparsnip · 08/12/2018 08:18

I'm a single parent to a 9 year old, and work 4/5 days a week. I'm usually exhausted.
I find if I stay up past 11 I'm ruined the next day. I need early nights. I go running when I can, and have been taking Vitamin D and Magnesium. Really trying to look after myself. Too many social engagements (and booze) wipes me out.

I think being a parent of young children who don't sleep is incredibly hard. I didn't work when DS was little. His sleep was so bad, he woke up every hour for the first 2 years. Anyone who manages to go to work as well as deal with that is a total fucking legend. I salute you.

masterandmargarita · 08/12/2018 08:27

I like exercise but i'm not sure i'd get up early on a Saturday to do it! Enjoy your lie in.

Seniorschoolmum · 08/12/2018 08:31

I’m 55, one dc (10), single mum work full time. Short commute (thank god).

I’m not tired most of the time, but that’s taken a real focus on exercise & staying fit, taking a daily multi-vitamin to ensure I get enough vit D and eating healthy stuff. I find eating more veg and fewer biscuits, bread and pasta mean I have more energy. Less alcohol too.

I also took a conscious decision for a less stressful job/commute which helped massively. Stress was the most toxic bit, reducing it made the most difference.

I’m post menopause and battling my age now but I’m coping ok.

Broken11Girl · 08/12/2018 08:32

My first thought was thyroid. OP and all the other ladies with underactive thyroid, get blood tests. Do NOT take your thyroxine before. Do not be fobbed off with 'normal' by your GP, ask for actual numbers.

pinkhorse · 08/12/2018 09:06

I'm not sure this is normal. I work every day (although shorter hours some days) and have ds 8. I go to bed around 11 every night and get up at 6am in a normal day (even weekends). I go to the gym 3 days a week (sometimes get up at 5am for this), I run twice a week, cycle to work and back every day (11miles) as well as walking the school run and dog. Occasionally I'm tired but usually not and nowhere near the levels you are saying.
Exercise gives you energy. You would think the opposite but you'd be surprised. It wakes everything up. Try exercise for a bit to see if it helps.

Xenadog · 08/12/2018 09:16

Definitely look at Vitamin D levels and take supplements. I had this deficiency and I can’t describe the degree of exhaustion I felt. Working full time hours and having a little one is incredibly hard. I don’t do social things mid-week very often because I don’t have it in me and likewise a Friday night out never happens as that’s when I’m really fit for nothing.

Eating well, and by this I mean limiting the starchy carby quick fix foods, really helped me. Get as much sleep as you can and doing things like online food shopping to limit the extra work really does help.

I ended up seeing a naturopath and she really helped me turn things around, I gained energy, lost weight and felt healthier.

NerdyBird · 08/12/2018 09:32

I take VitD, B complex, do exercise and try and eat healthily and I'm still exhausted! I've had my thyroid tested but because of the reference range used it always comes up normal even though in other countries I'd be given treatment.

lljkk · 08/12/2018 13:56

Is privately purchased thyroid medication very hard to get or too expensive?

Alwayscheerful · 08/12/2018 16:02

I would think you could have a consultation be issued with a private prescription and then take it to your doctor and ask them to issue an NHS prescription.

Alwayscheerful · 08/12/2018 16:02

Sorry that should have said private consultation.

Bettyspants · 09/12/2018 22:36

Er no....you can not simply take your prescription and ask for an NHS prescription! When prescribing for a patient I go by my own examination and results, there's no way I'd prescribe a medication on an NHS script or private by the above suggestion , i very much doubt any other medical professional would...

Alwayscheerful · 10/12/2018 16:44

@Bettyspants I was passing on advice I had been given -I did wonder if it was actually possible, which is why I said I think but my friend/ colleague was successful.

Original poster

onechildortwo · 10/12/2018 18:43

So I reached the conclusion tonight that something has to change and I think it's going to be work. I simply cannot carry on with this lifestyle any longer, it just seems so unhealthy!!

Obviously there is that slight little issue of money so it's going to be tough - I can't just quit, I'll have to find something else - but I can't carry on like this. I'm sick of feeling like a zombie!!

OP posts:

FeatherStrong · 10/12/2018 19:24

I was alright, had my first kid young at 20..loads of energy. Worked very hard after graduating.

30+ and 2 more kids, one of which has with SEN, im shattered! Exhausted!
Even if i go to bed early, I wake up tired.
It's horrendous and saddening.

I feel your pain @OP :(

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