Hi
I have always been a silent member and always appreciated the support this group provides. Today I need little help and sanity check from you. Please bear with me as it will be a long post. DH and I almost been married for 10 years and have two beautiful DS. We had our ups and downs over those years. In the last two years I thought that our relationship was doing really well and was stable. We had few fights which every couple has. In the last few months DH started becoming close to a female work colleague. She is married and has three DDs. The colleague had given him presents over the last year or so which he had told me were from her. He asked me to bring few presents for her daughters and her when I went abroad to visit my parents which I did. till then I didn't suspect anything. Few weeks ago she had arranged a party at her home where only work colleagues were invited and not spouses. As her place is at an hours drive from where we live. DH said that she has offered him to stay her place after the party as there was going to be drinking etc. I found that strange because DH is someone who is very reserved although her husband and daughters were going to be there too. I told him why not get a hotel room to which he decided that he will come back home and not stay the night. Few days after that I was going through his phone looking for something and saw texts between him and her. DH is not someone who shares his emotions easily but with her he was very appreciative for all her support and had put a heart at the end. She had sent various texts to him as well thanking for his support etc with smiley and heart eyes. In all our married life he has only sent me heart in a message once or twice in a text. DH and the colleague had gone away in October to a conference together where he had been asking her where is she and what time will they meet up for dinner. In all her replies she had smiley with heart eyes. I didn't say anything to DH about texts as I thought I am being paranoid. What I did do though was ask him whether it was ok for work colleagues to exchange hearts in a message. He asked me whether someone had sent it to me and I said yes. and his reply was that is not right and shouldn't happen. The other change in our married life was that in last few months DH had become more sexually active and saying things you are hot and other things when he never said that in last 10 years. We started experimenting new things too. which all made me think that our relationship was going really well. Over the wknd we had a fight about how he is not actively trying to look for another job opportunity. He currently works at two places. One is permanent position and other contract. His excuse was I don't have time. I asked why not leave permanent (that's where the colleague) is and do contract. His reply was that I am never going to leave that workplace as I get support from that work place which I don't from you at home. That's when I brought up the texts. He first got offended and then said that she is just a really good friend. I then asked about the heart messages to which he said that we are like brother and sister. We had a major fight and I left the room. I then received an e-mail which informed me that he had changed his e-mail password. I hadn't even looked at his e-mails. When I asked him he said that he was just protecting himself. Since then we haven't been talking. I am mentally and physically exhausted. Can't stop myself from crying. He insists that there is nothing and I am being paranoid,. I don't know what to think. I have lost faith in him. 9 years ago we had a similar fall out where I had seen an e-mail where he had confessed that he is still in love with his ex and marrying me was biggest mistake of his life. Is it normal for work colleagues to exchange heart text messages? Does any of the above sounds normal. or am I being paranoid.