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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So my friend just killed some woodlice. Do you keep your own morals to yourself when in other people's homes?

136 replies

lynnepot · 06/12/2018 10:59

Just had a coffee at a friends house. We went into her conservatory and we noted there were three or four woodlice crawling around on the floor. She casually swept them up put them in an old ice cream tub outside, then went to the kitchen got some bleach and squirted the bleach over them. She did it so casually whilst telling me about how she dropped off her dd to the coach station last night for a school trip and without any hesitation of doing so in my presence. She didn't even talk about what she was doing. She just carried on chatting. I thought it was quite a mean thing to do really but it was her home and I didn't feel it was my place to comment on it. I walked home just now questioning myself whether we just have to accept other people have different moral thresholds and that we should just respect its her home and some people do things differently.

OP posts:
Caprisunorange · 06/12/2018 11:00

What would’ve been the point in saying something though?

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 06/12/2018 11:02

I don't understand why anyone would do that instead of just tipping them outside.

MrsJayy · 06/12/2018 11:02

I wouldn't have bleached them but what was she expected to do would you have felt the same if it was flies or ants she killed ?

MissionItsPossible · 06/12/2018 11:03

Well whilst I think it unnecessarily cruel, I wouldn’t have said anything. If someone was booting a puppy in the face whilst talking to me about the weather, then yes, I’d speak up, whether it’s in their own home or not.

StealthPolarBear · 06/12/2018 11:03

Ouch so they were already outside? I can understand swatting them like you would a fly but that seems so calculated

TenForward82 · 06/12/2018 11:07

I'd say something, and avoid that person with psychotic tenancies in the future.

Original poster
lynnepot · 06/12/2018 11:07

Yeah there is that too. What would have been the point in saying anything because the act was already done anyway. I just wondered if anyone else would say against something in someone elses home?

OP posts:
Original poster
lynnepot · 06/12/2018 11:09

Is it really psychotic tenancies though, or is it just a demonstration of different moral thesholds?

OP posts:
Alfie190 · 06/12/2018 11:10

I don't like insects, but they were already outside and there was no need whatsoever to pour bleach over them.

Psychotic tendencies, moral thresholds, whatever it was very weird.

thecatsthecats · 06/12/2018 11:10

I would and have commented on that sort of thing in the past.

I don't moralise, I just say something along the lines of, 'Leave the poor thing alone and don't be such a baby,' and hasten to sort the thing out myself.

Plus, bleach? Casually using bleach in such a horrid way is nasty on all sorts of levels. Woodlice are absolutely harmless.

TenForward82 · 06/12/2018 11:12

Killing insects is one thing (although I don't agree with it). Killing them when you don't need to is another. Killing them with chemicals in a calculated fashion is another another. IMHO.

BarbarianMum · 06/12/2018 11:12

Actually that would really put me off a person. I eat animals but I wouldnt go out of my way to kill them for no reason.

Biancadelriosback · 06/12/2018 11:14

I think I would have said something like "that's a bit overkill don't you think?" And made it clear that I was not impressed. At the very least, hopefully they won't do it in your presence again

nellieellie · 06/12/2018 11:14

I would definitely have said something. I detest this casual killing of living things. If I’d realised that someone was about to do this I’d have stopped her too.

TheHulksPurplePanties · 06/12/2018 11:16

That seems unnecessarily cruel. I am extremely arachnophobic but the most I would ever do to a spider is swat it with a shoe! Why would you pour bleach over them when they are already outside?

MayFayner · 06/12/2018 11:17

A close friend: I would express astonishment and ask why on earth they needed to do the bleach bit?

Someone I didn’t know very well: I’d think they had some kind of germ phobia and say nothing.

DoNotTouchTheTree · 06/12/2018 11:17

Unrelated, but I read recently that woodlice aren't insects at all, they are crustaceans!

Snowwontbelong · 06/12/2018 11:19

Would give me doubts about our friendship tbh.
Yuck.

Original poster
lynnepot · 06/12/2018 11:23

Its not a normal thing to do though is it. I'm glad we are on parity with that on here. Perhaps I should have said something like that yes Bianca

She is not a best friend but she has lived on the same street as us for a few years and her son is the year below my son at school so we cross paths often enough to invite the other for coffee etc.

OP posts:
howabout · 06/12/2018 11:23

I have conscience issues with evicting spiders in winter. The cold shock to the system usually kills them off so it would probably be kinder just to murder them myself. That is why my preferred method is to shut my eyes, count to 20 and hope they run back under the skirting board.

I can't tolerate slaters / woodlice in the house and if I evict them they tend to come back in on the soles of my shoe. So I kill them. I wouldn't bleach them and leave the carcasses in case some other wildlife ate them and ended up poisoned.

On balance I would have mentioned the use of bleach. I didn't even use it the year we had a trail of ants moving in with their suitcases. A kettle of boiling water in the queen's lair solved the problem, but I felt bad doing it.

ZacPosenatemyhamster · 06/12/2018 11:25

I would probably have said something, without being a dick about it.

Surely as well as being cruel using bleach rather than tipping them into the garden, creates work for yourself? What is she going to do with them now? Too lumpy for the sink and too wet for the bin?

DarlingNikita · 06/12/2018 11:29

howabout, my DP recently removed a spider from our bedroom and put it downstairs behind the sofa. I'd usually put them outside but it's true, they might well die if they're used to living in the house. I was happy enough about it being put behind the sofa; better than on the bedroom wall next to my face!

Anyway, OP, I think bleaching woodlice is really odd and a bit obsessive. Maybe she's one of those types who come on here having the vapours because a tradesman has had a shit in their toilet and shock horror it smells.

diddl · 06/12/2018 11:31

I'm surprised that you didn't ask what the bleach was for?

Seems rather overkill, and weird (imo)doesn't it-rather than just tipping them out.

Plus unnecessary waste of bleach.

SylviaAndSydney · 06/12/2018 11:32

I’d say something, definitely. Probably “aww, no need to kill them, surely?”, secretly thinking “you evil cow”.

MaryM82 · 06/12/2018 11:33

My next door neighbour had a problem with squirrels in her loft, instead of calling pest control she decided to drown them - I was so disgusted that I reported her to the RSPCA! I advise you do the same with your friend, a life is a life!

Sending white light your way!

M x