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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So my friend just killed some woodlice. Do you keep your own morals to yourself when in other people's homes?

136 replies

lynnepot · 06/12/2018 10:59

Just had a coffee at a friends house. We went into her conservatory and we noted there were three or four woodlice crawling around on the floor. She casually swept them up put them in an old ice cream tub outside, then went to the kitchen got some bleach and squirted the bleach over them. She did it so casually whilst telling me about how she dropped off her dd to the coach station last night for a school trip and without any hesitation of doing so in my presence. She didn't even talk about what she was doing. She just carried on chatting. I thought it was quite a mean thing to do really but it was her home and I didn't feel it was my place to comment on it. I walked home just now questioning myself whether we just have to accept other people have different moral thresholds and that we should just respect its her home and some people do things differently.

OP posts:
halfwitpicker · 06/12/2018 12:46

She drowned a squirrel?

U2HasTheEdge · 06/12/2018 12:52

I would say something and did to my friend who killed a spider.

I couldn't watch that and say nothing.

Original poster
lynnepot · 06/12/2018 12:53

Nooooooooo, my friend didn't drown the squirrels. Someone else up thread had a neighbour who did.

OP posts:
NotANotMan · 06/12/2018 12:55

I'm hardly militant about my veganism but I really couldn't be ok with someone who killed creatures so cruelly. I doubt any of my friends would do so in front of me anyway but if they did I would either challenge them (if we were very close) or distance myself if we weren't.

halfwitpicker · 06/12/2018 12:58

Yes I know Lynne, it was a pp up thread

redfruitgum · 06/12/2018 13:01

Let me get this right. So, whenever it gets hot in the summer and people's bins get invaded by maggots and the inevitable maggot bin thread comes up on here, people in their droves come on here saying bleach, bleach, bleach. So bleach is ok for maggots, but if its a woodlice everyone goes into a meltdown? Classic Mumsnet Grin

SonOfSaturn · 06/12/2018 13:04

Classic mumsnet, taking a bit of nuance in their perspectives instead of seeing everything in absolute black and white! Darn you mumsnet!

Oliversmumsarmy · 06/12/2018 13:04

I haven’t killed maggots. I have never had them in my bin.

But I think the reasoning is maggots turn into flies and flies spread germs where as wood lice are not germ spreaders they are the good guys

Felicitycity · 06/12/2018 13:06

I would defo have said something.
' Please don't put bleach on those woodlice, they are living creatures'.

redfruitgum · 06/12/2018 13:09

Yeah but if the outrage is the bleach is causing a horrible death then that suffering is still being dished out to another creature, all be it a maggot, instead of a woodlice this time round. The maggot doesn't know its done no wrong.

Claredogmum · 06/12/2018 13:14

Would definitely have said something. I'd have taken them off her and released them in the garden then fought her for the bleach bottle. I remember falling out with a good friend for casually standing on a spider. No need, I think it's cruel.

redfruitgum · 06/12/2018 13:30

There is a lot of preaching on this thread. You have to accept that other people have the right to a different outlook from yourselves.

KonekoBasu · 06/12/2018 13:57

I'm sure somebody was being criticised fa while back for pouring bleach on maggots because birds could eat them and be poisoned.

I wouldn't pour bleach on any living creature. Not even maggots and I detest them. If we have them in the food recycling I pour them out on the lawn.

Allaboutmeandyou · 06/12/2018 14:03

I haven’t killed maggots. I have never had them in my bin.

You have never used nappies on baby Oliver then?

MsGrohl · 06/12/2018 14:09

That is very odd behaviour of your friend OP! I really don't understand why you would do that at all but I don't honestly know whether I would say something or not... If it wasn't a friendship I particularly valued, it would probably make me question them so much that it out me off wanting to spend time with them. A good friend, I would probably excuse and just hope I didn't witness that sort of thing again!

SonOfSaturn · 06/12/2018 14:09

There is a lot of preaching on this thread. You have to accept that other people have the right to a different outlook from yourselves

Well, that's kind of the point of the thread. To talk about where the line is between accepting somebody else's outlook, and speaking up.

If you saw your friend kick her puppy in the face for misbehaving, would you "accept that other people have the right to a different outlook"?

MyNameIsArthur · 06/12/2018 14:13

All life is important no matter what size so I try to avoid hurting or killing insects.

TenForward82 · 06/12/2018 14:14

Arachnophobia lady: no one has the right to kill something just because they're afraid of it.

Also, I think people brands themselves as phobics when what they really mean is "I don't like this thing". If you were genuinely terrified by them I suspect you would have run, not gotten its oozing corpse on your shoe.

SylviaAndSydney · 06/12/2018 14:17

Agreed TenForward.

howabout · 06/12/2018 14:17

DH's teenage bedroom was a garage conversion on the South Downs. He informs me bleach doesn't kill them there - I can only assume indiscriminate use of chemicals has made them resistant.

Google was unable to confirm but states blow torches are a popular extermination method - not recommended if as is usual the woodlice are in close proximity to wood.

I think sea bears are related to woodlice (?) They can survive irradiation and unprotected trips to outer space (in theory)

redfruitgum · 06/12/2018 14:31

Kicking a puppy in the face is animal abuse. I'm sure the rspca would have something to say on the matter as a criminal matter. Thereby yes you should stop it. Killing some insects is not criminal matter. The nitty gritty of it is OP's friend was just carrying out a form of pest control. If you are offended by this then you should probably be sat outside the HQ of Rentokill with your placards.

SonOfSaturn · 06/12/2018 14:33

Lots of people do not determine moral lines based solely on the law, though.

redfruitgum · 06/12/2018 14:35

I'm confused then. So is the problem? That the woodlice were killed full stop? Or that they were killed with bleach?

Snog · 06/12/2018 14:36

Bleach seems psychopathic
I would have found this freaky behaviour OP.
If she had crushed them, it would have been less shocking to me than the bleach.

Unobtainable · 06/12/2018 14:40

Very cruel of her and Im sure my face would have registered my disapproval in your place but Im not sure Id have said anything as i cant imagine being friends with someone who’d do such a thing. I would have probably left then and there.

The casual nature of it is a worry more than anything. Very sad. I’d get up in the middle of the night and go outside in the freezing cold to release a spider.

Whats your relationship with her?