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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Queue jumpers

135 replies

Mushroomsarehorrible · 06/12/2018 10:57

Why do us Brits get so wound up about queue jumping when other cultures / societies happily bundle and jostle and push in and no one gets angry about it?

I see so many arguments over people 'pushing in' on my commute into work. Queue pushers annoy me too, to me it just seems so obnoxious and ignorant to queue jump but I wish I didn't bother me! I usually bite my tongue but v occasionally I will say something. AIBU for being pissed off and if I am, can you tell me why queue pushers don't get your back up... I'm usually pretty easy going but this is my bugbear!

OP posts:

RTFT · 06/12/2018 11:14

It's fucking rude and if anyone tried to push in front of me I'd push then right back

agedknees · 06/12/2018 11:16

It’s just rude and entitled. Their time is more important than yours.

babycatcher411 · 06/12/2018 11:18

Because it is rude, because it’s not what we do.

If it was the norm, then you’d be doing it too, and this you wouldn’t be annoyed by the rude ignorant people trying to push in

Sparklesocks · 06/12/2018 11:31

When you queue jump you are essentially telling the people in the queue that your time is more important than theirs and so you don’t need to queue, whether intended or not that’s what it says.
It’s very rude and I think it’s good we call it out. Also if we didn’t bother and just mobbed transport/restaurants/pubs everything would be a scrambling mess!

Original poster

Mushroomsarehorrible · 06/12/2018 11:31

Babycatcher, that is true, but I don’t understand why other cultures, etc don’t get annoyed by it when it is blatantly NOT ON

OP posts:

PatchworkElmer · 06/12/2018 11:32

It’s arrogant and rude.

Caprisunorange · 06/12/2018 11:32

I find it so hard to understand how cultures where you don’t queue function

Ime it’s usually aggressive men who get everything first in those situations

longwayoff · 06/12/2018 11:33

Waiting for Ikea to open Boxing Day sale, the queue being drizzled on waiting for ten n o'clock.Jag pulls up as doors open and Mrs Me First gets out and marches to front of sodden queue. Ouch. Use your imagination people; firm words were exchanged.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 06/12/2018 11:34

I am that person that will call you out for pushing in, even if it isn't in front of me directly.

What makes you think you're more important than everyone else that your needs should be seen to first? We have a major issue with this in our local post office depot (where you get missed parcels). There is always someone who comes in running to the desk saying "sorry I'm on the double yellows can I just grab mine and go". It does my head in!

SnuggyBuggy · 06/12/2018 11:35

I think it's about fairness. Do cultures where this is ok maybe have less time restraints?

SylviaAndSydney · 06/12/2018 11:36

It's fucking rude and if anyone tried to push in front of me I'd push then right back

Second answer nailed it for me.

SnuggyBuggy · 06/12/2018 11:37

Sneaky tripping up is more fun

SeeSpotRun · 06/12/2018 11:37

For me it depends on what sort of commuting queue situation it is;
queuing to get on a bus/tram/tube and someone pushes past to get on, not okay
queuing to get on an escalator with the intention to stand and someone pushes past with the intention to keep walking on the escalator, okay by me, the rude person was the one blocking the path for those who want to keep moving

SnuggyBuggy · 06/12/2018 11:40

That said I have never understood the rules of bus stop queues.

nonevernotever · 06/12/2018 11:41

I suspect snuggybuggy and caprisunnorange have it between them, and acceptance of pushing in is more common in cultures where time is more elastic and/or where it's accepted that men get first pick and I think may therefore be more likely to reward the pushiest man if you see what I mean?

jessstan2 · 06/12/2018 11:42

I hate queue jumpers and actually still have a panic attack at the thought of how I was pushed out once, when I had got off the tube to allow others to get in off the platform! Someone actually held me by shoulders and put me back when I had left a big bag of stuff on there! Maybe my fault but I didn't think anyone would do that. I did get on & found my bag but feel rising panic at the thought.

theonlyKevin · 06/12/2018 11:42

to be fair, queue jumping is extremely rare in this country, whilst it's nearly a national sport in others. The only exception is public transport, but the system is so unreliable and there are so little spaces, it's a fight of the fittest.
yes, it's rude, but when people are racing not to be late or to catch a train because the one after is 1 hour later, it's understandable.

SylviaAndSydney · 06/12/2018 11:42

That said I have never understood the rules of bus stop queues.

My personal rules are to observe who was there before me, and make sure they’d get on before I did. Anyone arriving after me is getting on after me, by hook or by crook. Unless they were infirm, then I’d let them on first.

SnuggyBuggy · 06/12/2018 11:50

But what if it was a bus stop with more than one bus? Say the person first in the queue wasn't getting the bus that was approaching, the people further down the queue would still be able to board if they wanted.

If there are clearly enough spaces on the bus I just get on, I certainly wouldn't bother considering who got to the stop when and stand around in the cold to let someone on first for the sake of it. If the bus was crowded I think it's better to hang back and let someone obviously in need of a seat board first.

RoboticMary · 06/12/2018 11:55

Two young boys in Sainsbury’s pushed in front of me the other day. They were loaded up with sweets and claimed not to understand English when the cashier asked them to stand behind me. They were getting very irritated that she wouldn’t serve them and started mouthing off when they realised they weren’t getting anywhere. Never heard so much swearing in my life, even from adults!

PermanentlyFrizzyHairBall · 06/12/2018 11:55

It's all to do with convention and etiquette. Our convention is you get served in the order you arrived. Other cultures have a more casual queuing system where the most bolshy gets served more quickly.

I think our way is much better, it's all clear, well defined and you can just wait without worrying about jostling and pushing your forward.

We just need a better punishment for queue jumpers - I don't think the passive aggressive stares quite cut it.

SylviaAndSydney · 06/12/2018 11:56

If the bus was crowded I think it's better to hang back and let someone obviously in need of a seat board first.

Me too, but with anyone else, no chance if I was there first.

BruegelTheEIder · 06/12/2018 11:58

In which cultures do people queue and then not worry about people queue jumping? That's pretty illogical, I'd imagine if anything they just don't queue at all.

Queueing is a fair system that makes everyone equal. It's a good thing that people are irritated by the injustice of somebody thinking they are more important than other people.

cowfacemonkey · 06/12/2018 11:59

We went to Disneyland Paris a few years ago and we’re pretty shocked at the queue jumping so when we went this year we just embraced it and went with a when in Rome attitude. It was bizarrely liberating and saved us getting pissed of with others. Wouldn’t dream of doing it back home though (except at a busy bar where all bets seem to be off as to who gets served when!))

Cakemonger · 06/12/2018 12:00

Maybe it's because we're so reserved - the question of who goes next is automatically sorted out without us having to speak to each other

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