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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Queue jumpers

135 replies

Mushroomsarehorrible · 06/12/2018 10:57

Why do us Brits get so wound up about queue jumping when other cultures / societies happily bundle and jostle and push in and no one gets angry about it?

I see so many arguments over people 'pushing in' on my commute into work. Queue pushers annoy me too, to me it just seems so obnoxious and ignorant to queue jump but I wish I didn't bother me! I usually bite my tongue but v occasionally I will say something. AIBU for being pissed off and if I am, can you tell me why queue pushers don't get your back up... I'm usually pretty easy going but this is my bugbear!

OP posts:
Annasgirl · 06/12/2018 12:01

Well I'm Irish and we hate queue jumpers too. The worst to me are drivers who barge in at the front while I have spent an hour in a left only lane.

Also I think in the US it is not accepted. Not sure where queue jumping is OK - but if you tell me I'll make sure not to waste my time in a line when I visit.

Panicwiththebisto · 06/12/2018 12:02

M&S cafe seems to be such a the queue jumping epicentre with older people pushing in front of those with young children, just to get to empty tables, that I don’t go to them.

BurningGubbins · 06/12/2018 12:02

As others have said, it’s situational in some cases. Rail replacement bus queue - you’d better not barge in, everyone’s already on the edge. South London normal day bus queue - everyone for themselves and you respect the skills of the person who gets that bus every day and knows exactly where to stand so the bus doors open right in front of them...Grin

Cakemonger · 06/12/2018 12:02

Ie When someone pushes in, it threatens the entire social order

KERALA1 · 06/12/2018 12:03

Arriving in the hellhole that was Cairo airport twenty years ago and to get through passport control was literally a scrum. You had to shove your way to the front, the strongest men were at a massive advantage my friend and I as slight twentysomethings reluctant to push had to wait for ages.

I couldn't live in a non queuing country. Survival of the fittest - literally living like animals. Eurgh.

BitOutOfPractice · 06/12/2018 12:04

My Dutch ex always said "when not in the UK, queue like a durchman" ie don't queue at all. Instead, stand in a semblance of a queue until the doors open or whatever, then just push forward.

theonlyKevin · 06/12/2018 12:05

It's a good thing that people are irritated by the injustice of somebody thinking they are more important than other people.

bearing in mind the UK is a Monarchy, that is hilarious Grin

BruegelTheEIder · 06/12/2018 12:06

bearing in mind the UK is a Monarchy, that is hilarious

Tbf, many many British people are irritated at the injustice of that, too.

Cakemonger · 06/12/2018 12:07

So relieved this thread is about actual queues. I thought it was going to be about Maybot's comments on immigration.

m00rfarm · 06/12/2018 12:10

I live in Portugal and we do not have queue jumpers here (or, if we do, they are frowned upon and occasionally pushed out of the queue). Most of the time it is done by numbers - you get a ticket and you come forward when you are called. This is for pretty much everything.

klixie · 06/12/2018 12:15

Where we are in germany, queue-jumping is entirely normal, accepted behaviour.

People push past older people and parents with prams to get on trains, no matter who was there first.

When a new cash-register opens at at supermarket, everyone from all the other lines run for the new line. Whoever has been waiting the longest does not get priority.

And whoever gets the attention of the cashier at a department store gets served first.

In some small way, I don't mind it. It is a bit thrilling bucking social norms running for the new check-out line. And if people are in a mad rush at the check-out, at least they get the chance to compete for first place at the next register.

Storm4star · 06/12/2018 12:18

It's funny, they say the British love queuing but for me that honour goes to the Japanese by absolutely miles. At every train/underground station there is a line near where each door will open and they patiently queue up there. No one would dream of diving in front of the queue! Whereas London underground is a free for all! They have chairs outside popular restaurants and people will sit there for an hour waiting to go in! I've never seen anything like it. If I tried to jump a queue in Japan I'd probably be thrown out of the country!

Lweji · 06/12/2018 12:18

I live in Portugal and we do not have queue jumpers here

Except in some busy bus stops.

But, yes, queues form regularly. When it's not an obvious queue we always ask who was the last to arrive and then form a neat queue behind those in front, or wait until they are served.

We are also supposed to give way to pregnant women, elderly people, and people with mobility problems by law.

BruegelTheEIder · 06/12/2018 12:18

I live in Portugal and we do not have queue jumpers here (or, if we do, they are frowned upon and occasionally pushed out of the queue). Most of the time it is done by numbers - you get a ticket and you come forward when you are called. This is for pretty much everything

God bless the senha system! Reserved in England solely for the deli counter at the supermarket.

The best thing about it is you don't have to stand around in the stupid physical queue. You can take a seat, chase your wayward toddler, (go buy a sandwich if the queue is massive) and you never actually lose your place.

piscis · 06/12/2018 12:18

That said I have never understood the rules of bus stop queues

Me neither. If it is a stop where only one bus stops then fine, but what are you supposed to do in a bus stop where 2 or more buses stop. You don't know who is getting in each bus, how is queuing possible in the situation? so I don't understand what is the right thing to do for buses...Can anyone explain please?

amusedbush · 06/12/2018 12:19

I went into a Burger King in Rome to use the toilet and I had to ask at the till for a code. There was no queuing system at all, everyone just milled around and charged forward if they made eye contact with the person serving. It was really stressful.

Finally I shoved in front of someone, who turned out to be a British man asking for a code for the toilet Grin

Rachel0Greep · 06/12/2018 12:23

Two of my most blatant 'being queue jumped' experiences were in England, so I'm not sure that the fabled queueing in the UK always happens Wink.

SylviaAndSydney · 06/12/2018 12:23

Can anyone explain please?

Here, we still form one orderly queue. You ask the person in front “are you getting on this?” Then wait for them to reply and get on or wait till they do accordingly.

brilliotic · 06/12/2018 12:23

Hmm having grown up in a non-queuing country this question got me thinking. (I stick to the rules here and never queue jump before anyone asks!). My country is not a 'strong men first' type of country, it has its fair share of mysoginy but no more than England does too. And yet no queuing.

One big difference perhaps that there are a lot less things to queue for.

  • There are no queues/waiting lists for hospital treatments. If you need the treatment, you get it. People would get upset/angry if they had to wait for something they needed. They would be angry at the politicians who were under-funding the health system, and probably soon throw them out of office. Whereas here people just accept hospital waiting lists as a fact of life, and direct their anger at queue jumpers.
  • There are not often queues at post offices. If a post office found that they were regularly having queues of any significance, they would open more counters at those times. People would call out the post office for bad customer service if they didn't. Whereas here, people just accept that going to the post office involves wasting time waiting in a queue.
  • There are pretty much never queues for boarding a bus (or train). Public transport is expensive (just about like here) so people expect decent service for their money. Bus companies that provided such bad service that people were forced to queue for a bus, and perhaps have to wait for the next one, would soon be out of business. Whereas here, people just accept bad service, despite the high prices.

Obviously there are times when you have to wait, and sometimes queue. And people are not good at it then.

Perhaps the queuing discipline is so much worse because a) people have a lot less practice, and b) you mostly only really have to queue for unimportant or free/cheap things. Once you've paid for something, you expect (and usually get) decent service which means minimal waiting.

purpleworms · 06/12/2018 12:23

@BruegelTheEIder in Dublin City Center when waiting for the bus everyone stands in a real queue starting at the bus stop.

Bus arrives.
Doors open.
Carnage. The orderly queue disappears and everyone heads to the doors at the same time in a scramble Hmm

LizzieBennettDarcy · 06/12/2018 12:28

I was in our local hospital Costa outlet the other day, after having had radioactive die injected for an xray and a heart stress test... I'd had to starve for 12 hours before and being diabetic, had to been told to go and get something to eat straight after. Stood in the queue and the woman in front of me was joined by 3 others..... I wasn't having it and said sorry there is a queue. I was then told they were staff and rushed on their break....... I said good for you but I'm diabetic, shaking, hungry and don't wait to wait for the 3 of your orders in front of mine! They refused to move. So much for compassionate nursing staff.....

brilliotic · 06/12/2018 12:28

That said, it has also occurred to me that making people wait/queue is one way of demonstrating your power over them. It happens in my country in job centres and at immigration offices. People are firmly shown their place by making them arrive hours before they are actually seen.

So I am not sure about queuing being an expression of equality. It can also be an expression of power, and of people (meekly or unwillingly) accepting authority. This is what you'll get and nothing more, put up with it or leave.

MutedUser · 06/12/2018 12:28

Brilliotic how could the bus company’s know or control the amount of people who turn up for bus at a certain time . So how would they be put out of business if too many people randomly turn up for the 9am bus one day so much so people had to wait for the next bus. It’s out of their and everyone’s control .

dapplegrey · 06/12/2018 12:31

When you queue jump you are essentially telling the people in the queue that your time is more important than theirs and so you don’t need to queue, whether intended or not that’s what it says.

This.

brilliotic · 06/12/2018 12:32

As a one-off, of course. But if it kept happening they would simply have to increase the frequency of their buses at 9am, no?

Of course one-off queues happen, the point is in England we expect to wait for things, whereas in my home country we accept occasional waiting as an exception.