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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to quietly withdraw from washing his clothes?

54 replies

DailyMailShitheadNewspaper · 06/12/2018 10:49

DH and I have a shared laundry bin and we both put on a mixed load as and when. All very equal.

Last night I was shaking out one of his jumpers to put it on the rack to dry. DH stopped me, when I asked why he said that I "don't do it right" before correcting himself to say I "don't line the seams of the jumper up when I put it on the rack" Confused

I said that I have never heard of seams having to line up (What seams? Line up where?)

I added that he doesn't even bother to turn my tops back the right way round before putting them out to dry (I wash them inside out); he replied that he does. I said no you don't; then he said that he treats my clothes the way I treat them (supposedly with not as much care and attention?) as I clearly don't mind if my tops are inside out or not seam-aligned. Confused

Did I mention the Daily Mail is a Shithead Newspaper?

So, AIBU to quietly withdraw from washing his clothes any more? To in future, only put my clothes in the machine, and hang them out with as much care as I fancy?!

OP posts:
TwistedChristmas · 06/12/2018 10:55

LTB

MrsSpenserGregson · 06/12/2018 10:57

YANBU, because nobody should ever have to do another fully-function adult's washing if they don't want to.

(But he's right about the seam alignment Grin)

Strawberrybelly · 06/12/2018 10:57

I think you are being very unreasonable to question his methods. He is right, If you put things to dry correctly they don't end up in a crumpled mess. My Dp just chucks things on the airer any old way and it drives me mad.

Original poster
DailyMailShitheadNewspaper · 06/12/2018 10:58

None of my clothes are a crumpled mess!

I shake things out to get rid of the creases (he doesn't shake) and hang things up very neatly.

OP posts:
jessstan2 · 06/12/2018 10:58

Let him do his own laundry - maybe even some of yours except very personal stuff - if he thinks he does it better.

Cheeky sod.

magoria · 06/12/2018 11:00

How can you not line the seams when you hang the stuff out! I am with your DH on that.

However if he wants it done his way, he should do it.

DonDrapersOldFashioned · 06/12/2018 11:00

The seam alignment makes sense with some items, it helps them keep their shape.

BarbarianMum · 06/12/2018 11:01

I wouldn't quietly withdraw but my dh is very clear that, if he wants his washing done by me, its my way or not at all. Likewise he does his share of household chores his way.

The kids on the other hand do it my way or have to redo it. Because, actually, my way is right. Wink

thecatsthecats · 06/12/2018 11:01

Can you go one better and make him solely responsible for the laundry and you do more of something else?

We have split laundry and washing up between us - I do all laundry, he does all dish washing.

I had to be spectacularly restrained about commenting on his laundry practices (putting them on 'eco' mode, but also 'spin and drain' TWICE taking 3 1/2 hours, whereas as I bang out three small loads for 25m each and get them dried in the same time). He has not returned the favour.

He commented on the load I picked out of the basket yesterday - mostly his shirts. I just put them back and wandered off.

KittiesInsane · 06/12/2018 11:02

Well, depends on the jumper. Wool-based jumpers and some cotton ones go truly weird shapes if you don't reshape them before you dry them. Shaking them would probably just encourage their nefarious habits.

But if you're bunging everything in one washload anyway, I'm guessing these aren't particularly delicate woolly items?

Original poster
DailyMailShitheadNewspaper · 06/12/2018 11:02

Which seams are you all talking about please?! Do you mean the vertical seams down the side of the jumpers? Because yes, I shake the tops out and then hang them so those seams are both parallel. I honestly have no idea what he is talking about.

OP posts:
Original poster
DailyMailShitheadNewspaper · 06/12/2018 11:03

@KittiesInsane I wash his wool jumpers on a hand wash before reshaping them while damp and then drying them flat.

OP posts:
UrsulaPandress · 06/12/2018 11:03

We do our own washing here.

MrsDeaconClaybourne · 06/12/2018 11:06

My X once criticised a shirt I'd ironed for him and I never did another for him - we were only together for about another 6 months anyway. He was a knob though. If DH asked me to do something a different way cos he preferred it I probably would. We have an on-going debate about pegging out washing because he does it wrongly we have a different technique.

RoboticMary · 06/12/2018 11:07

Yes, I think YABU. Seems a ridiculous argument to be having. There are bigger problems in life, and you can’t have that much washing between the two of you. Isn’t that what marriage is about - helping each other out and looking after one other? Your DH’s method sounds right, btw. If my husband asked me to do it a certain way, I’d do it that way. I wouldn’t consider it a slur against my capabilities, I’d chalk it up to personal preference. It’s not a big deal.

DonDrapersOldFashioned · 06/12/2018 11:10

Well for one thing, I wouldn’t be ‘hanging’ jumpers. I dry them flat (or near as damn it). Hanging them encourages them to stretch.

Original poster
DailyMailShitheadNewspaper · 06/12/2018 11:10

Ok, tonight I am going to ask him to show me what he means by 'my seams don't line up'

OP posts:
ExplodedPeach · 06/12/2018 11:10

Depends on the item. My DP hangs my stuff up wonky and it's really annoying because they're made of light fabrics that then get stretched. Once he left a wool jumper hanging over the corner of the rack so it had a massive stretched dent in. I don't hang his stuff up with the same attention I do my own because they're made of thicker more robust material and I know he doesn't care as much. I also don't see why it matters if an item dries inside out.

On the other hand, if he's just anal then YANBU

Original poster
DailyMailShitheadNewspaper · 06/12/2018 11:11

@DonDrapersOldFashioned The non-delicate tops are draped over 3 rows of the maiden, at a sort of 45 degree angle.

OP posts:
DonDrapersOldFashioned · 06/12/2018 11:12

Ah, just seen that you do dry flat.

Alfie190 · 06/12/2018 11:13

I cannot believe you would not line the seams up when drying something! DH is right.

As to how you organise your washing up to you, we have separate laundry baskets still after 14 years and neither of us has ever washed or hung up to dry, anything belonging to the other.

Elfinablender · 06/12/2018 11:13

If he doesn't like the way you do the laundry, he should do his own laundry. That seems fair.

cjt110 · 06/12/2018 11:14

My husband hangs clothes willy nilly, unshook, and not straight on the maiden. He also does not follow the "rule" that smaller item's (DS clothes, tshirts etc) go on the top two tiers and large items (trousers etc) go on the bottom for free hanging. Then I just give up when he just flings the underwear on top in a pile..... SadShockAngry

There is not room in this world for disorderly, inappropriate washing hanging people like that and as such, even though I moan like fuck, I do the washing hanging.

DonDrapersOldFashioned · 06/12/2018 11:14

TBH, I don’t know who is ‘wrong’ (probably no one). It’s just preference. If it’s causing this much tension, I’d probably just have a calm conversation about each doing your own laundry.

cjt110 · 06/12/2018 11:15

BTW, I would boil wash his jumpers in revenge