to quietly withdraw from washing his clothes?

[DailyMailShitheadNewspaper]

DH and I have a shared laundry bin and we both put on a mixed load as and when. All very equal.

Last night I was shaking out one of his jumpers to put it on the rack to dry. DH stopped me, when I asked why he said that I "don't do it right" before correcting himself to say I "don't line the seams of the jumper up when I put it on the rack"

I said that I have never heard of seams having to line up (What seams? Line up where?)

I added that he doesn't even bother to turn my tops back the right way round before putting them out to dry (I wash them inside out); he replied that he does. I said no you don't; then he said that he treats my clothes the way I treat them (supposedly with not as much care and attention?) as I clearly don't mind if my tops are inside out or not seam-aligned.

Did I mention the Daily Mail is a Shithead Newspaper?

So, AIBU to quietly withdraw from washing his clothes any more? To in future, only put my clothes in the machine, and hang them out with as much care as I fancy?!

You should both do your own washing if this is a source of conflict. Withdraw, OP!

But he's right about the seams. If you get it right, there is no need to iron anything.

Buy him his own laundry basket for Christmas ! 😄

Buy him his own laundry basket for Christmas !

No, that's how wars start.

@Dragon3 We haven't ironed in a decade. As you say, there's no need!

My DH once criticised the way I ironed the collars on his shirts. My solution - to never iron a shirt for him ever again! I don't think I have ever borne a grudge about anything else for so long but I hate ironing so he picked the wrong thing to pull me up on .

I think the solution is, you ask him how he would like his seams aligned and he always turns your tops back the correct way. .

Although if you dry clothes outside, tops turned inside out are better because they fade less just throwing that spanner in there .

DH criticised me once for how I did his shirts.

After 3 months of doing them himself, I had a very sincere apology.

Not a word said since. He values being alive

I was going to say that your DH was right and the seams should be lined up but then read your update that you already do that! So I have no idea what he means. Please let us know when you find out!

My DS has been doing his own washing for a few years now and it sets my teeth on edge when I see him hanging things in a slapdash way, but I resist the urge to change it or say anything!

Get all of his clothes. Put them in a pile in the garden. Douse with petrol. Apply match. That will show him.

Also - hang your own clothes out to dry still inside out and they will look better for longer (less fading).

If someone told me the seams have to be lined up when hanging clothes out to dry I think I would just laugh. No way I could be married to somebody that uptight.

I just tip the clothes basket out over the rack and then spread the clothes around a bit so that they're not too piled up. Later in the day I move them around a bit/flip them over to avoid any covered patches staying damp. Job done.

Why on earth would it matter if he didn’t turn your tops the right way around before drying them? It’s not going to stop them drying.

My DH doesn't match the pegs on each item ...

@DorisDances 😱😱 The pegs have to match! What is he thinking?!

Your DH is right. You should stop doing his laundry if your standards are such.

I am shocked at the lack of ironing on MN in general. My DH irons his work shirts and always has done because my methods are slap dash. I do, however, iron absolutely everything else although he thinks it unnecessary.

We used to share packed lunch making duties but the first time he started moaning about our different approaches we agreed to each do our own to avoid divorce.

I think that laundry techniques are a fairly healthy thing to quarrel about. My gripe is that DH does not follow the thin rail, thick rail rule. Items that won't be ironed, like T shirts, go on a thick rail so that you don't get the thin, wrinkled drying line across it. Underwear and ironable items can go on any rail, but only once the thick rail items have been hung.

Thanks @RoboticMary I am glad you understand x

bigbluebus Thu 06-Dec-18 11:24:06 My DH once criticised the way I ironed the collars on his shirts. My solution - to never iron a shirt for him ever again! I don't think I have ever borne a grudge about anything else for so long but I hate ironing so he picked the wrong thing to pull me up on.

This. DH once compared my ironing his shirts unfavourably to the way his Dmum has always ironed his shirts. Dh has been forced to iron his own shirts ever since.

Withdraw OP! It's the only way forward.

I have ways I hang stuff - t-shirts, are hung on the airer with the wire down the centre front, so that the sleeves hang straight down (if you hang them with the wire horizontally across the front, then the arms are creased from the angle they hang at), and I can just pick them off and fold them without any further shaking/mucking about. Boxers and socks go on the fold out wings etc. ie. I have habits, that have developed for efficiency over years of hanging out washing to dry.

I expect I've explained these things to DP before, because if I've found the best way, I'm going to share it.

BUT. If someone's doing my washing, unless they're actually ruining something (eg. the woolly jumper hung on a peg, or DP trying to kill the cashmere cardigan of mine that he doesn't like by putting it in with the towels.. HA! little does he know that Boden cashmere can cope just fine with that!), I'll let them get on with it however they want to do it.

I only withdraw washing labour if I discover that he's 'done a wash' and yet again not bothered to hang it out and it's just festering crumpled in the corner of the spare room). Oh, and if it's not in the basket, I'm not going hunting.

Yes, it sounds very petty. You don't like the way he hangs up washing, he doesn't like the way you do it. Your clothes are clean, you are both helping by doing the laundry when it needs done. That's good, don't spoil it and start splitting chores to prove a point.

my DH told me, early in our marriage, that I didnt iron his shirts right.

Over 20 years on, he is still ironing his own shirts.

If he doesnt like the way you do it, let him do it himself.

I'm very particular about hanging out the washing, and what can and cannot go in the dryer safely. Therefore I do all the laundry in our house. I'm not so particular about how the bins are emptied so DP does that :)

I don't own an iron