to fantasise about another man?

[candymom]

I have been married for 10 years and have 2 kids but cannot stop imagining myself with another man.

I have a good life, for example 2 great kids, a nice home etc,and feel guilty for imagining myself with another man.

I have been a SAHM for 5 years now and feel now is the time to return to work. The last 3 months I have been applying for jobs but have not even been invited for an interview. I feel totally useless. i take ADs for anxiety which seem to help and because of these tablets I now feel ready to get a job.

Sorry to go off the rails a bit but I feel my life is going nowhere. I know I should be grateful for what I have got but I do not feel happy and it is frustrating me. Any shrinks on tonight

what other man do you fantasise about? a film star or someone in rl!

Someone in rl.

i think it's natural, sounds like a crush, but if you enjoy it why not?

I think this ultimately comes down to 'types' of people. You get couples that are so devoted the idea of going with someone else makes them feel sick and you get couples at the other end of the spectrum who have open marriages. Monogamy just doesn't suit some people. I will say this: don't go behind your husband's back. Discuss it with him. Your sex life may have just stagnated and you can sort out the problems together by either putting the shine back or altering the terms of your marriage. If you have any close friends in a similar predicament then maybe the occasional wife swap? A change is as good as a holiday they say. There lots of people out there who lead alternative lifestyles and it isn't something to be ashamed of. But don't break the trust.

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RM - I don't do swinging. Friends of ours do and have even hinted to us about it but honestly I am not interested.

I can't stop thinking about being with only
one man on my own. There is one particular guy I think about all the time but realisticaly I know it will never happen.

i reckon most women feel the same all the time about someone or other. i know i do! (daniel craig latest)yum

I do it all the time .

There is always the possibilty you married the wrong man and then have stumbled across your soulmate. But if you take that step everyone's world is going to come crashing down.

I have a fantasy affair with a dad at the school gate but if he actually turned around and tried it on like in my fantasy I would run a mile!!

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admylin - would you really run a mile?

Yes I would! He's got 4 kids for a start off!

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Fantasies are a form of wishful thinking though. You start to live a life in your imagination because your real life is incomplete, so I don't think they are harmless.

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That is true about men, just put that Shakira - roll in mud - video on in a room full of men and it goes strangely quiet.

Do you have that video?

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I often catch my sweetheart eyeing up pretty girls, but it would hurt me if he was fantasizing about one particular person. I would think he secretly wanted her and not me.

Shakira works every time, even guys who don't usually pay any attention to music videos!

Pretty much everyone has fantasies, whether they are about sex with acertain individual or punching the lights out of the annoying person ahead of you in a queue. What goes on in your head is your business. However, if the fantasy is beoming obsessive or making you miserable then maybe you need to work out what's going on - but if it's just an idle distraction that puts a smile on your face, don't stress about it.

my man always eyes up other women. He particularly likes women with big breasts and I don't have those.

The way I feel right now i could quite happily have an affair with someone.

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