To be unhappy

[YoucancallmeMasha]

I feel like dps roommate... 2 nights out of 7 if I'm lucky he'll come in to bed, he sits up watching podcasts n footie rubbish all night n when I get up to make ds breakfast I kick him through to the room we are literally like roommates it's horrible we sit on seperate seats on our phones while ds sleeps I watch stuff I like n he listens to stuff on his phone

Why are you still together then if you're so unhappy?

It does sound horrible. You clearly feel that you are not being unreasonable to be unhappy. You don’t need us to tell you that.
He is obviously not happy either. He doesn’t enjoy your company. He doesn’t want to be where you are. Unless you are both committed to discussing the problem honestly though, there is no way for things to change.
It doesn’t sound as though there is much hope for the relationship. It just doesn’t sound as though either of you really likes the other one. You might have shared history and even some residual feelings of love but if you don’t actually really enjoy each other’s company, what’s the point?

I am really unhappy it literally is like ships passing in the night here, we're not living but merely only existing n the stupid thing is I love him and I do enjoy him company when it's just us n ds those days are the best we spend the whole day laughing, I actually feel loved we cuddle up etc but the very next day it's back to square one. If I wanted to go to bed every night I'd be single and chose to but the issue is I don't and I love having him in the bed with me I feel loved, safe and happy

Meant go to bed alone every night **

I don't agree that it sounds doomed, perhaps you've just become a bit disconnected, got stuck in a rut. How old is your son? A baby can affect the dynamic of a relationship. Have you talked to your partner about it? Arranged some nice things to do together??

Have you spoken to him about it?

My DH and I could be like this (will the novelty of the internet in the palm of your hand ever wear off?!) but we had a chat because we were both unhappy about it and try to limit our own screen time - and we're in our 50s FFS!

Ds is 6 months n nah we never get any time to arrange anything n when I suggest something he just shrugs n says maybes then it never happens anyways so don't see the point now. I've severely limited my screen time n all my programs get recorded for when I've got time to catch up but there's nothing worse than staring at the top of someone's head

Are your 'A' and 'D' keys broken?

No they work perfectly find but what's that got to do with anything... Go correct someone else's grammer

Can you turn off the wifi and see what happens?

You need to reconnect before this goes too far.
Can you both sit down and have a conversation about all of this?
Would he agree to some counselling?
I think you both need to compromise to get this back on track.

Oh god forbid I did that, the WiFi was down for day AND (proof the a&d works) he threw a massive hissy fit

Same thing happened with me and my DH, although the lack of proper communication was there really from the beginning and then got worse with arrival of DD. I got more and more angry and my situation,
he got more distance. Fortunately we made the decision to go to a marriage counsellor. What was good about it was the tools and techniques they give you to help kick start the communication again. We are not fixed, but in a much better place.

Today has to be the day, he doesn't understand him sleeping in the living room isn't only annoying me cause i miss him it's only unfair for me to be up n down all night with ds then up at crack of dawn I'm wearing myself down and constantly knackered

Also not only ** my brains still sleeping sorry for typos

What's he doing during the day if he's up all night watching stuff?

Sleeping till god knows when, then straight on his phone comes off it to help with ds feeds, changes etc then instantly its back in his hand

Is he not working?

Nope, that's another issue I keep nagging at him for

Wtf? What are his working hours like? You

Dp doesn't work

Why does he not have a job?

Hasn't bothered his arse looking for one tbh

That is a bigger problem. So he doesn't work, do you? Or are you living on savings and /or benefits?

This is no environment for a child to grow up in. DP has to DO something either be a hands on SAHP of work and bring in the money.

Do not enable this. He is too comfortable and this could go on forever

Currently on maternity and yip he's defo got too comfortable I let him away with it which is the major problem cause I'd rather have a quiet life iyswim