Shoes off house

[acornfed]

We are a shoes off house. I've grown up that way, I've lived in countries where that is the norm and with small children
And crawling babies I hate the thought of dog mess being trapsed into my house of which there is plenty around.
I am not a clean freak, my house is not full of precious rugs or floors. We just don't like shoes in our house.
Recently a couple of friends have been noticeably offended that we've asked them to take their shoes off (so politely) before they come in.

Why are people like this?

Well maybe my shoes off friends do think I am “disgusting” for not removing them in my house (I always do in theirs) - fortunately they are kind enough not to tell me, and they are still happy to come round and eat my food and let their children play on the floor. Though perhaps they all bath in dettol when they get home, I wouldn’t know.

m confused does shoes off mean I’m common?
of course it does, you and I both. Nothing wrong in being common and working class.

You can picture a WAG wearing slippers in her mansion, but you never see the Queen or the royal family in their slippers when they have guests in their home despite the fact that the royal family seems to love carpet for some reasons.

Little George was wearing slippers when he met Obama in his living room, but he was in his pj, bless him.

Because it is a question to which you don't want to hear the answer 'no'.

Yes, your home your rules blah blah but if you have any manners then once you have invited someone into your home then your priority should be their comfort. If it's not then it's simple, don't invite people round.

Shoes off seems to be lower middle class.

Working class/Aristos tend to be shoes on. Middle middle/upper middle more of a grey area.

This is what I have gleaned from extensive exposure to these threads on MN. Perhaps I should do a PhD on the topic

I don’t even own a decent pair of slippers anymore Kevin, so I’m definitely a commoner! Need to add it to my Christmas list.

Ime shoes on is WC and UC, shoes off is aspiring to be UC ( but they are actually just normal WC)

This is very interesting. Thanks everyone for your opinions.
Looking up the definitions just now I guess I am in the "upper middle" bracket, but I wouldnt have thought this would be a factor for people responding about shoes. We are not a country, hunting shooting fishing family, plucking pheasants at the table with dogs running around. I know those people are generally always shoes on. We are a professional and "dual cultural " family.
We sit and lie on our floor. I don't like the idea of outdoor shoes on it.
I just find it odd people are offended when they are asked to take them off.
I've lived in lots of countries and I think I agree with the posters that say it's a "small island mentality" . Those tend to be the people most offended. Some may find it mildly odd which I can understand. I just find outdoor shoes inside horrid.

After a couple of awkward encounters recently when we have hosted a dinner (which we do a lot) I have even thought about sending a jokey email giving people heads up about it as part of the invitation.
Has anyone done this? !!

I think the consensus is that for a party etc people get trussed up and would then feel uncomfortable about removing their shoes.

Depends how friendly you are with your guests.... perhaps just say that you have a New carpet and would appreciate if they bought slippers?

After a couple of awkward encounters recently when we have hosted a dinner (which we do a lot) I have even thought about sending a jokey email giving people heads up about it as part of the invitation.

Good idea - ask people to bring their slippers!

Yes, your home your rules blah blah but if you have any manners then once you have invited someone into your home then your priority should be their comfort. If it's not then it's simple, don't invite people round.

This is unbelievable stupid. You should be reasonably accommodating to guests but their comfort doesn't trump everything. If they felt more comfortable sleeping in my bed than the guest bed that doesn't mean they get to. If they're more comfortable putting their shoes up on the dining room table they don't get to.

It's just a cultural norm. In other parts of the world everyone takes their shoes off, in this part it's about 50-50 split (where I live almost everyone does take their shoes off in other parts of the country it's different). It's nothing to do with good manner - you just find it difficult to understand that some people are different to you without being wrong.

I don't have carpets downstairs and don't care if people keep their shoes on (unless they've been walking through muddy fields and are going to leave actual footprints) but still can't believe the fuss people kick up.

This again......

This is why I don’t like carpets.
I have wooden floors so outside shoes don’t bother me too much.
However my kids don’t wear shoes at home.
If I go to other people’s home , I ask if they would like me to remove my shoes

We are a shoes off house. I personally feel more comfortable in barefoot or slippers. I also don't want what ever my kids have walked in all over the house. But I don't make guests take their shoes off.

We're shoes off with a balance.

We always remove shoes (my husband not as carefully as I'd like - wood floors, but even on a rainy day he'll tramp right to the kitchen before taking them off RIGHT WHEN THE CLEANER HAS BEEN), but guests aren't asked to remove them for parties or if they're just popping in.

If people are hanging around they de-shoe at the door innately, as we're already in our socks.

But, honestly, I do think it is very bourgeois

How very bourgeois to care

We had to have shoes on growing up as the floorboards were exposed in the living room so there were splinters in feet otherwise. My DDad used to get cross if visitors were unshod. We have cats so remain shoes on and no carpets downstairs (9/10 of the mud comes in with the cats). We do, of course, take shoes off elsewhere...but I confess I’ve taught myself to ask rather than revised my internal views on the necessity. Nobody has ever brought dog poo in.

Everyone I know takes their shoes off in the house.... except my parents. Don't understand how people keep them on, I can't wait to get home and kick mine off, love walking barefoot.

It baffles me! When I go to someone's house I automatically take my shoes off or I at least ask - sometimes they tell me not to worry and I feel more uncomfortable keeping them on!! I would feel terrible if I had something on my shoes and I ruined their flooring because of it.

What on earth would you have on your feet that would ruin their flooring that you hadn’t noticed you had walked in??

In what cultures or countries is it rude to take your shoes off?

If you're a shoes-on household, do you put your shoes on in the morning when you get dressed, or do you just keep them on after you've been outside?

Shoes on for me just means I don't make guests take theirs off. We all take ours off when we get in from work/school but that's just for comfort.

What on earth would you have on your feet that would ruin their flooring that you hadn’t noticed you had walked in??

Mud, dirt from the street, ocassionaly dog muck (much more rare but a bloody pain when it happens and yes some people don't notice - god knows how because it bloody stank!).

Hisaishi

But you wouldn't be mortified at making hosts uncomfortable?

It works both ways.

Honestly, here, the onus is on the host. Maybe there's more of a hospitality culture here? As a guest I'd obviously show consideration, wipe my feet etc. If my shoes are covered in mud or poo, of course I'll take them off. But I live in the suburbs, my shoes are worn in my office, car and on urban pavements, where I don't make a habit of walking in dog shite. Everyone I know is the same. A quick wipe on the doormat and I won't be tracking anything into the house.

As a host, I feel there's more of an onus on me to set the tone and make people feel comfortable. The idea of telling people what to wear as they're just through the door makes me cringe to my very core.

I hate taking my shoes off in other people's homes. I feel like I'm being too familiar and comfy.

PermanentlyFrizzyHairBall I asked what wouldnt you notice you had trodden in. I would know if I had trodden in those things.

Honestly - even in shoes on households it is rude to trail mud all over the house. I don’t know how that isn’t obvious.