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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DH forfeited the right to be a bauble-y fucker when he didn't help put up the Christmas tree?

57 replies

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 05/12/2018 10:54

He's a spoony fucker as well, so I shouldn't be surprised... Because ut he declared himself "not fussed" about doing the tree (it is a bit early, but it's a very busy month, and we'd never have been able to actually enjoy it if it didn't go up this week).

Then last night, in an accusatory tone "PaM, there are three sparkly ones together there, I'm going to swap one".

He kept hopping up to move a bauble two branches to the left, or would move one and then have move another four because he'd ended up with two red matte ones next to each other.

Does anybody else's turn into the Llewelyn-sodding-Bowen of the Christmas tree?! I wouldn't have minded so much if he'd hung up some of them (150+) in the first place!

OP posts:
halfwitpicker · 05/12/2018 10:59

Cheeky fuckery of the highest order.

He wants the ha'penny and the gingerbread does that lad

Downtheroadfirstonleft · 05/12/2018 12:48

Kill him. This is far too bad a crime for LTB..

[joke]

MoaningSickness · 05/12/2018 12:55

To be fair the same type of bauble being together does upset me to. But I'm nice enough to rearrange them as we put it up together. (Not sure DH considers this 'nice').

FetchezLaVache · 05/12/2018 13:04

Your point is entirely reasonable. DP is similarly prescriptive about the positioning of individual baubles, but at least he has the courtesy to insist on decorating the tree on his own and to snarl at anyone who tries to help, so in many ways he earns the right to be so protective of it.

You could always try snarling - works a treat for DP!

CryingMessFFS · 05/12/2018 13:06

LTB!

Original poster
PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 05/12/2018 13:08

Oh I don't mind the rearranging in concept, I know it's much easier to step back when it's all done and look. I'd have just preferred him to do it with me, rather than refusing to join in and changing it afterwards. Although I don't think a small red, a big red and a big gold sparkly one in the same area is that bad!

He can't leave anything though — in the kitchen he likes stirring and poking things or "just checking" them. Although he does look guilty now if I ever find him with a wooden spoon in his hand. We've just about got over the Chilli Flake Battle of 2016. Grin

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 05/12/2018 13:09

Good opportunity to fuck with him, though? Put the sparkly ones back together (in a different bit of the tree) and then mention his ‘mistake’ tonight as he sits down? Do it again tomorrow... and the next day....

AintNobodyHereButUsRavens · 05/12/2018 13:11

HIBU, baubly fuckers are the worst, and my DH is just the same Hmm

Tell us more about this Chilli Flake Battle

AintNobodyHereButUsRavens · 05/12/2018 13:12

Ooh yes I like your thinking Squirrels! Do this OP!!

5foot5 · 05/12/2018 13:21

He can't leave anything though — in the kitchen he likes stirring and poking things or "just checking" them. Although he does look guilty now if I ever find him with a wooden spoon in his hand.

Is that what you mean by being a spoony fucker. I was going to ask...

OverTheHedgeSammy · 05/12/2018 13:22

There was a thread years ago about 'spoony fuckers'. Quite funny and incredibly irritating for those who have spoony fuckers in their lives....

Sitranced · 05/12/2018 13:24

Baubly-fuckers, spoony-fuckers, they're all the same. Swoop in and fuck around with what whatever you're doing and claim they 'helped' and try to steal the limelight. fuckers.

Original poster
PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 05/12/2018 13:28

It was from this thread 5foot5. It's such a perfect description!

OP posts:
FetchezLaVache · 05/12/2018 13:28

Squirrels, you are an evil genius!!

RibbonAurora · 05/12/2018 13:31

'Sleigh' him, OP!

In every household there is a Chosen TreeDresser. She alone will have the taste and nitpickery necessary to stand against the forces of evil tinsel and novelty ornaments. She alone will perform any necessary bauble redistribution for a more pleasing spread of glittery v shiny v matte.

DH gets NO say. It's my thing, mine. When my DC were small it was acutely painful to me to have to share this activity with them; so much so that, though I struggled with my conscience, I don't regret my decision to abandon them on the firestation steps one snowy December night. Wonder where they are now.

pancaketosser · 05/12/2018 13:41

Wonder where they are now.

Ruining Christmas trees elsewhere I'd assume.

DS keeps asking me why I've moved ornaments from where he put them. He has much to learn.

OP - no help, no opinion. Tis the only way.

KurriKurri · 05/12/2018 13:47

My XH was a total grinch at Christmas, but he thought he could be overlord of the Tree decorations. He didn't want to actually do the decorating, but he liked to bark orders at us
'Lights first'
'No no no tinsel goes on last'
'Don't a large bauble near the top'
'Make sure you put this manky old bit of tat that used to belong to my Mum decoration at the front.'

etc etc. We all ignored him obviously.

Ditto Christmas presents - he had trouble understanding the concept of a surprise - one Christmas we had the famous 'hurry up and open that princess castle DD, I want to take a photo' incident Hmm

Travis1 · 05/12/2018 13:48

My cats are the bauble-y fuckers in our house. They appear not to like any of the baubles I've put on the tree and are making it their mission to remove them all Hmm

MinecraftHolmes · 05/12/2018 13:56

I feel your pain. My DH is more of a tinsel-y fucker than a baubley fucker though. I do the tree every year. He normally doesn't give a toss until it's time to put baubles on. I have to do the assembling. Light untangling. Covering the tree with lights. This year he was off work and had the audacity to question my tinsel placement. Every sodding year, I put some of our gold tinsel deep into the tree to pad it out a bit and give something for the lights to reflect off inside the tree. He actually tried to argue with me that "no-one" "ever" puts tinsel close to the trunk of the tree, and that "every year" "WE" put the tinsel on before the baubles, as though he's ever involved in that.

Knob.

Mumsnut · 05/12/2018 13:59

OP, next year just decorate half and leave his share of the baubles in a box at the foot of the tree.

Mumsnut · 05/12/2018 14:00

or maybe buy enough of these to spell out 'Hands off, you spoony fucker'

www.marksandspencer.com/l/christmas/christmas-decorations-and-christmas-trees/baubles-and-christmas-tree-decorations/alphabet-baubles-n-cwk5s

BishopBrennansArse · 05/12/2018 14:01

Yep, under the patio he goes.... cheeky fucker

Disfordarkchocolate · 05/12/2018 14:02

I always buy decorations in threes and they are placed fairly close to each other on the tree. The final tree would probably drive your DH to drink.

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 05/12/2018 14:03

DH is a spoony fucker but not a baubley fucker, bizarrely. He only touches the tree to bring it into the house and then bring it out again. As long as it's in the sitting room, it's mine and mine alone (he might look at it occasionally but I can allow that).

He's a dishwashery fucker though; he'll unpack it after I've packed it and redo it the way he likes it. Some day he'll find himself going through an eco cycle...

RCAR · 05/12/2018 14:05

I have a wipey fucker, although I call him 'Senor Wipey Wipey' - waits for all the cleaning, washing up etc. to be done then swoops in and pointlessly wipes a random surface, then stands back like 'I've done everything here'