To think DH forfeited the right to be a bauble-y fucker when he didn't help put up the Christmas tree?

[PolkadotsAndMoonbeams]

He's a spoony fucker as well, so I shouldn't be surprised... Because ut he declared himself "not fussed" about doing the tree (it is a bit early, but it's a very busy month, and we'd never have been able to actually enjoy it if it didn't go up this week).

Then last night, in an accusatory tone "PaM, there are three sparkly ones together there, I'm going to swap one".

He kept hopping up to move a bauble two branches to the left, or would move one and then have move another four because he'd ended up with two red matte ones next to each other.

Does anybody else's turn into the Llewelyn-sodding-Bowen of the Christmas tree?! I wouldn't have minded so much if he'd hung up some of them (150+) in the first place!

Yanbu

Dh has said this year, after years of not giving a shit, that he wants to help us with the tree

🙄🙈

Those that do not partake in decoration hanging are therefore stripped of any right to rearrange or offer opinions or bark orders whilst others are partaking
(Bangs gavel)
His punishment shall be
Wrapping the presents (if you don’t like doing it)
Cleaning up behind xmas dinner (including washing up)
And bringing you tea in bed

He needs to learn.

Senor Wipey Wipey

He wants you to do all the hard work and then pitch up for the 'ta-da' moment.

My DH does this too. Like when he gets the blow torch out to do the top of the creme-brulee I spent ages making and everyone goes 'oooh-aaah' like it was all his own work - Fucker

Chilli flake battle?

Crying with laughter at the idea of spoony fuckers and baubley fuckers.
Then realised to my shame that I am a dishwashery fucker. I thought I was a dishwasher goddess. The shame.

RCAR Ooft that would make me eye twitchingly furious! If DH did that to me I’d get the ketchup bottle out and pointedly eyeball him whilst I squirted some on the work surface, plonk the bottle down then walk off. My passive aggressive isn’t very passive tbh

Ooo that would annoy me so much! DH knows he's not allowed to rearrange MY tree. He gets it put it up, attaches tinkerbell to the top of the tree, and follows me around whilst I put lights on it. Apart from that he stays out of it.

Buy your DH one of these, and then he can rearrange his own tree to his hearts content! It seems to keep my DS entertained.

www.hobbycraft.co.uk/decorate-your-own-felt-christmas-tree-kit-80cm-x-70cm/637533-1000

My H effs & jeffs every year I ask him to get the Christmas tree out the loft. I decorate it, which takes ages, and everybody compliments me on it, only for CFH to take photo's on his phone, and tell everyone, 'Do you like my tree'.

Decorating the tree is my job, MINE! And I will guard that task with a reindeer head and prod you with the antlers if you dare try to adjust any ornament on that tree after I have placed them perfectly. And if I haven't placed them perfectly then it's my job to fiddle about with them until it's just right. This might be after Christmas, tweaking goes on a long time

Fortunately I can do the tree while DS is at school and DH at work. But first of course DH must do the legwork of going up into the cobwebby loft to get the tree and thousand boxes of baubles down for me. Bwahahahah

I don't think mine can actually see when there are two similar ones together. He usually leaves that task to me - and unlike some people here I would quite like it if it wasn't my job! However he did suddenly announce this year that he doesn't really like white decorations and asked if we could leave those ones off (after accepting them without comment for years!)

@PolkadotsAndMoonbeams - thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for linking to the spoonyfucker thread - it is one of my all time favourites.

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Ha ha .. my ex husband was a dishwashery fucker and a shopping trolley packery fucker .... when I was newly single I used to revel in chucking it all in haphazardly and running the dishwasher half empty.

That is inspired Squirrels. I'm very tempted!

The chilli flake incident... I made the mistake of saying that chilli flakes gave something a nice kick, and began to add them to everything I cooked. Goulash — "it gives it more heat". Spaghetti Bolognese? "I like it a bit spicy". Macaroni cheese? "It goes well with the bacon". Roast dinner? Probably, but I stood guard over the gravy so he didn't get chance to try it.

I could grit my teeth (well, if I could feel them through the tingling in my mouth), but then I was making Kung Pao from scratch. The ingredients were a bit fiddly to find (especially the chillis) and I'd spent ages making the sauce. I fried the chicken/vegetables, poured the sauce over it, left it to simmer for two minutes while I nipped to the loo, came back and caught him red-handed tipping about a quarter of a pot of chilli flakes into it because "they weren't out, so I thought you'd forgot to add any when you cooked the chicken".

Never mind the considerable amount of actual chillis in there... I might have offered to insert the chilli flakes somewhere that would save him the bother of eating it. I refused to eat it, and had cheese and crackers while watching him saying it was delicious whilst turning redder and redder with tears streaming down his face. Funnily enough, he's gone off chillis a bit (although I still have to watch him with the salt pot, the seasony fucker!). We laugh about it now.

Sorry, he began to add them to everything.

Oh, and I've never tried to cook Kung Pao again — perhaps I should give it a try!

I do find DH rearranging ornaments that I have carefully set out. He also eats my seasonal chocolate display and leaves the wrappers next to it! It is for eating but the rubbish surrounding it ruins the effect.

He also eats my seasonal chocolate display

Seasonal chocolate display??

Seasonal chocolate display?

Does nobody else do that? Like for Halloween there will be little chocolate foil pumpkins and ghosts? Currently there are little chocolate sprouts and chocolate christmas puddings. For Easter we would have little eggs or rabbits, Valentines/anniversary would be little hearts. Any time there isn't some sort of festival coming up I put werthers in there as I love them.

In... where?

Oh God, I am the bauble fascist in this house

I get irrationally rage-filled when the kids just CHUCK the decorations on the tree any old how, even when they were really little. I know I'm supposed to smile indulgently and say "Well, it may not look perfect but we all did it together and that's precious" yadda yadda, but it doesn't, it looks shit luckily now they're old enough that they make a bit more effort to compose things properly. I still spend hours adjusting the tinsel and making sure the right glinty bits are in front of the right coloured lights etc...it matters!

It's in the dining room in an iridescent champagne saucer. Next to the other seasonal ornaments. It makes me happy, I just thought other people must do it or why would so much seasonal chocolate be sold? Someone else must display it too.

Maybe DH is right and it's a bit odd. Won't stop me doing it though.

DH did a Halloween chocolate display this year, with skulls and coffins and things. It was pretty cool. We do have an old fashioned glass sweetie jar with a red velvet ribbon round it full of multicoloured Lindor during December as well.