To think that women like this make it harder for the rest of us to succeed in our careers?

[muddiecuddles]

An acquaintance has just had her DS2 - I asked her about her plans for going back to work after mat leave. Essentially, her job (in the legal profession) involved a long commute and she knew it wouldn't be sustainable with kids. She had not been getting on well in work and had had major clashes with some of her team which long predated her pregnancy but which she then reported as pregnancy related discrimination. She got signed off sick in the second trimester of her first pregnancy due to this. Subsequently got signed off sick again after her first maternity leave ended. She was very open about wanting to get pregnant again so as to not have to go back to work. Subsequently did get pregnant with DS2.

She is suing her company for bullying and harassment and anticipates getting a generous redundancy package taking into account the time spent in the company as well as the several years since she has actually worked.

If I was one of the managers in her company, I would think twice about employing females of child bearing age. AIBU to think that a small number of women like this make things incredibly difficult for the rest of us?

It wouldn't surprise me if she was discriminated against in a law firm. Equally, what is so cunning about having one child and then another in the space of 2 , 3 or 4 years- It is a pretty typical scenario? It hardly confirms this women had some devious intention to rip off her employer. Women do have maternity rights in this country and tbh I know someone that was in this scenario with a city firm 12 years ago, what's depressing is that things haven't moved on and mothers are still being treated like this in certain 'city' type jobs.

It's nonsensical to compare sexist generalisations from one (one!) example of a woman (possibly) playing the system to the very real and documented evidence of male violence. Which is something for men to consider because it affects society as whole, and if men don't address it then we won't get very far.

I'm pretty sure this is a zombie thread from 1976.

One of my colleagues once stole from the company and he was promptly sacked and reported to the police.

AIBU to think that a small number of men like this make things incredibly difficult for the rest of them? If I was one of the managers at that company, I would think twice about employing males again.

...Said nobody ever.

If the bad behaviour of one held back opportunities for others of their kind then bosses wouldn't want to employ men. But that doesn't seem to be a thing.

Oh, it’s a ‘Plopper’, at 20.47pm, they’ve not normally drunk enough by that time, usually nearer to midnight.

I think you work with her and are feeling bitter. It doesn't sound like a balanced (/true) version of events.

@racecardriver

You are clearly talking about yourself. (And maybe a few of your friends who are clearly the same as you.)

No-one I know - family, or friends, or colleagues, would get pregnant deliberately to get out of having to go to work. What a ridiculous and absurd thing to do. I can't imagine anyone well-educated, with high intelligence doing this.

That sounds very much something a certain section of society would do. The type you see on Jeremy Kyle.

@winterfellwench no actually. I can see that it’s unfair to expect my husband to provide for a family single handedly. Doesn’t mean that I would work if we had trust funds though. It’s very common amongst women who grew up like that. A lot of the girls I went to school with unashamedly have aspirations to marry a wealthy man and become a full time house wife. However men no longer find that kind of behaviour acceptable by and large so instead these women have a child then refuse to go back to work because it’s cruel to put a one year old in nursery or accidentally get pregnant on the pill and so forth. Some do go as far as to threaten a divorce if their husband demands they go back to work. I’m sure this rarely occurs in lower classes but when you reach the tier of women who are expected simply by virtue of birth to get a good education and have high flying careers this is visible. Like I said I only know two women who openly admit to using motherhood in this way but I have seen a lot of women who are happy staying st home getting accidentally pregnant again and so forth. It does happen. Women aren’t exempt from being deceitful.

@assasinatedbeauty I don’t see why you hold good men responsible for the actions of the violent minority

YANBU women who are bullied in the workplace should obviously put up and shut up, and as for getting signed off sick, well they should make an effort to show up whether the doctor thinks they're fit or not!

We've had a new female employee start and within a week she was telling us all in front of her line manager that she plans to TTC very soon and would look at moving to a job in a school after maternity as the hours suit better. I was gobsmacked.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Yes because all women are the same. We all think, act and do the same. Maybe these things actually happened? I know a radical notion that a pregnant women could be telling the truth.

Get over yourself.

Your friend needs to find better friends.

Interesting that you frame it as "holding all men responsible". I said it was a very real, evidenced, issue that affects all of society, and if men don't address it then we won't get very far. Nothing like this single example of a woman (possibly/allegedly) playing her work system to her advantage. Which isn't a widespread and evidenced issue affecting society as a whole.

My (employment law) lecturer has told us that employers will look at women of a certain age and whilst not able by law to ask of family status, will look for indicators such as engagement rings- as that means marriage, that generally means babies, which means maternity leave and that means money.