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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I have effectively been dismissed?

541 replies

Autumnwindinthewillows · 04/12/2018 17:05

I worked at an office less than 5 mins walk from a major transport hub. The firm then moved to an office with no easily accessible public transport but the arrangement at the time (or so i thought) was that staff with cars would pick me up from the old office. With staff changes this is no longer happening and I cannot get to work without an hour long journey on public transport plus a 1.5 mile walk which is not feasible.

The bosses have basically reneged on the deal and said it is my problem so it would seem i am out of a job. Can I claim constructive dismissal?

OP posts:
gamerchick · 05/12/2018 18:22

Look OP posting on here isn't doing you any good anymore. Why dont you have a chat with your husband and see if you both can't work out a way to deal with this together. This is what I would do. 2 heads are better than 1.

JustHereForThePooStories · 05/12/2018 18:24

As for a long term solution - unless they let me work from home for 3 days I don't actually see one

What does your job involve?

TrippingTheVelvet · 05/12/2018 18:29

Can you answer these 2 questions in the same post? A) How long does it take you to get to the old office from your house using public transport? B) How long does it take to get to the new office using public transport only to get there for your start time? Apologies but this is still unclear to me.

PengAly · 05/12/2018 18:34

OP clarification on your disability would help your responses. However if it is bipolar disorder then i fail to see why this doesn't allow you to commute...
What exactly made you think that your collegues HAD to drive you? Was there some kind of formal agreement or was it a casual comment? Also its very unreasonable to give an employer that ultimatum but they probably are currently trying to find a way to sack you because of all this

Ginandsonicscrewdriver · 05/12/2018 18:49

OP do you receive DLA/PIP

What does that have to do with the price of fish?!

PoutySprout · 05/12/2018 18:50

Aren’t those benefits meant to address the additional costs of being disabled?

Alfie190 · 05/12/2018 18:50

I just saw it as part of their job role

Eh? How on earth could driving a colleague to work be part of somebody's role.

Ginandsonicscrewdriver · 05/12/2018 18:52

They’ve got sod all to do with work. The correct “benefit” (although it’s not) to address this is access to work. And the mobility component wouldn’t cover many taxis anyway.

Tistheseason17 · 05/12/2018 18:55

Won't have to pay insurance as no insurance is valid without a licence

I had some sympathy with you until this, OP.

As someone who has serious injuries caused by an uninsured driver like you are proposing, I am pretty p*ssed that you have even thought about writing this down. Shameful.

Alpacanorange · 05/12/2018 18:56

You have not been dismissed. You are being given a new address from which to work, the rest is up to you. No legal obligation to transport you there, only to make you can access the building.

PattiStanger · 05/12/2018 18:59

Now that you've explained that your disability isn't physical I'm wondering what adjustments would be possible. Do you have something in mind?

If you've said what kind of work it is I'm sorry I've missed it but it would be so unusual for an employee to have it in their job description to take another employee to work that I can only assume it must be quite unique, is it actually something that you could do from home?

masterandmargarita · 05/12/2018 18:59

You tried cycling once and then gave up? Even my kids don't give up so easily. It's a 10 min cycle ride. It'll give you exercise and endorphins as well.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 05/12/2018 19:12

It would be cheaper to just buy myself a car for a couple of hundred pounds and drive. Won't have to pay insurance as no insurance is valid without a licence. Tax on most cars is very low or nothing. Chances of actually getting caught are minimal.

Wow completely irresponsible, idiotic and stupid.

Alaaya · 05/12/2018 19:17

Hi OP. I have bipolar disorder too, so empathy. I know that managing stress and energy levels is an important part of managing the condition and a long commute can be shit.

However, I think that commuting times come under the category of "shit we have to manage ourselves". It's totally fair to look for a new job because this one isn't working with your brain chemistry anymore, and I get that makes you feel depressed and abandoned and I suspect that is a lot of the attitude that is coming over in your posts. People are giving you shit for it, but I reckon you maybe aren't thinking clearly. Your work aren't being U or sacking you. It's just one of those things.

Advice - don't post on AIBU. Mental Health might be better or even the bipolar UK forums which are very helpful.

I also think while you have not a hope of getting a lift from colleagues, a reasonable adjustment might be to reduce/adjust hours while you are struggling. Perhaps look at getting a doctors note suggesting you adjust your hours to ease the burden of commute for six weeks and take that as some space to job hunt and plan for something new.

Jubba · 05/12/2018 19:24

My husband used to have a 2.5 hr train ride and a 10 mile walk each way!!!

ABoozedMoose · 05/12/2018 19:24

Are you 9?

Seriously though, I assume this is your first job if you genuinely think your colleagues should interrupt their work to collect you because you can't be bothered to catch an extra bus. And it sounds like you didn't even contribute when your colleagues were kind enough to help out. How could you ever see it as a long term solution?

Also telling your boss that you're not coming in IS an unauthorised absence. If they decide not to pay you for today you will be worse off than if you had forked out a tenner for a cab. A day off to research the bus timetable Grin

I am also interested to know how bipolar stops you walking for half an hour? I appreciate you might feel better when things are familiar but I can't see how it stops you physically.

Madein1995 · 05/12/2018 19:26

Another person wondering why you can't get tram to old office and if new office not far from old, get a taxi. Expensive but cut your cloth while you job hunt. Better than benefits

Also I can't imagine being cheeky enough to ask for or even accept a lift in your situation. They leave work, drive to you etc, purely for your benefit. It's not like they're already on their way. The effort and fuss and expectation just wasn't fair. You must have had some seriously nice colleagues. I would probably do it, as I am a walk over with self esteem issues, but even if someone offered to do it for me I would decline. It's rude.

Xuli · 05/12/2018 19:37

Did you really, honestly think that it was part of your colleagues job to pick you up to work?

What was the exact conversation and offer when your office moved, and was it written?

I have sympathies if you find traveling and commuting stressful and that impacts your mental health (though its not like anyone loves it) but this really not the way to go about solving this problem

PengAly · 05/12/2018 19:44

I may get flamed for this but im very curious...are you trying to get them to sack you for poor attendance just in hopes of twisting the truth to then claim compensation by accusing them of dismissing you because of your disability? Because if so that is despicable and honestly unbelievable.

Aridane · 05/12/2018 19:59

My husband used to have a 2.5 hr train ride and a 10 mile walk each way!!!

And that helpa the OP how ? Grin

Anyhow, that’s nothing. My sister walks three hours to work, barefoot, with the last mile being over broken glass

Milly848 · 05/12/2018 19:59

The more I read of this thread the more baffled I am.

OP you have to be the most entitled person I've ever seen on MN. WHy should your colleagues leave work to give you a lift? Do you realise how much it costs to run a car? Not to mention the CFness of it all.

Your colleagues don't owe you a living. If I were them I'd be pissed off too.

FunkyKingston · 05/12/2018 20:07

Anyhow, that’s nothing. My sister walks three hours to work, barefoot, with the last mile being over broken glass

Luxury.

I used to dream about a mile walk on broken glass.

category12 · 05/12/2018 20:11

Walk, walk? I had to crawl on my belly through gravel to get to work, and I was glad of it too.

Ss770640 · 05/12/2018 20:13

Explain all of your post to HR and have it logged. Ask for a change to your working hours.

Generally it's your job to get to work Ontime

Chances are slim imo

Lostwithinthehills · 05/12/2018 20:13

@Avrannakern

You realise that buses won't always go exactly where you want to go? Do I really need to answer that?

She's obviously looked into the transport, and the only route to get from her home to the new office is those 2 buses.
She's looked into public transport. The 2 buses are what she needs to take Yes, I agree, I think the op is saying she needs to take two buses to get to the new office so why is she complaining about the 1.5 mile walk from the old office location?