To ask if you grew up poor, what was your life like?

[SilverDoe]

Was it still positive? Did it affect you adversely? Do you still consider yourself to have had a happy/loving upbringing?

Sorry for posting here, not sure where else to post it and I know it’s a popular board so hopefully will get some diverse replies.

Poor but much loved and very happy. Lots of homegrown food no tv but weekly trips to the library and evenings playing board games. Had to look after our clothes, always take school uniform off and hang it up after school, wear an apron at meals. We were all very healthy.

Incredibly poor childhood with a mother who struggled to prioritise appropriately. We were quite feral from a young age. She’s loved us, undoubtedly, she wanted us to do well but was also a bit scared of us in some ways. My eldest sister in particular who was quite violent and had the signs of the personality disorder she went on to develop as an adult. I think she suffered most when our father died. We had an outside loo, cling film in the kitchen window as the glass was broken, we were (looking back) filthy. We were left on our own from 7am until about 2:30 most weekends as my mother worked part time for most of our primary school years. It meant our eldest sister ruled the roost from about the age of seven. It also meant we learned to shop and cook at a young age and became quite self reliant. In summer we spent our time on the beach, all day ever day in the holidays. No shoes, homemade swimming costume and sunburn that peeled off in sheets. It was huge fun and having learned to swim to the rafts and jump off the pier at a young age, we remain quite fearless.
My mother is very elderly now. I think she bordered on negligent sometimes. She tried to sell us the ‘poor but happy myth’ and I used to get quite cross that she’d buy cigarettes but not shoes for us. I now know she tried her best (which was a long way off good but it’s what she could offer) and it must of been horrendously difficult for her.

She did something’s right - banging on about the importance of education and a career for girls as husbands die. We’ve all got very good academic records. She taught us self reliance and survival. She also taught us kindness and compassion and to see there is always someone worse off than ourselves.
Poverty brings with it disadvantage but it is possible to escape poverty and build a good life - and education is key to that.

I grew up on a council estate in Liverpool ( born 1978 ) and my dad was always employed but was on low income or commission based saled jobs. My mum was a SAHM until I was 12.
I'm the eldest of 3 ( 2 brothers ) so had my own room and whilst our house wasn't posh, it was absolutely spotless and my mum cooked from scratch and we had a bath every night which I know wasn't normal in the 80's for many.
Christmas was a big deal in our family and we were spoilt i suppose and always had new clothes throughout the year but suspect there was debt and my grandparents helped out too financially.

We had a lovely childhood, playing out on summer nights until dark, holidays to Wales every year and a large extended family who adored us.
My parents bought their first house when they were 40 on a posh estate and we thought we had won the lottery! Looking back there troubled times but i wasn't really aware of them and I had a carefree childhood.
Since I've got older I know more and have heard stories about how tough things were but we were loved, clean, fed and warm and didn't go without anything.
My own dc in comparison have way too much stuff but we are in a better financial position than they were.

We were poorer than my friends I.e no holidays (apart from when the grandparents took us camping), never went abroad, didn’t have many clothes, didn’t do any out of school activities, drove a really old embarrassing car....but generally my childhood was happy and I didn’t become too aware of these things until maybe my teens but by then I got myself a job to be able to buy myself stuff. I think it taught me good life lessons to be honest.
I do over compensate a bit with my children as they get everything I never got.
I’m sure your children are all more than happy OP, I think it’s a good thing to not be materialistic and obsessed with money. They will grow up down to earth and appreciative.

I was poor but loved and well looked after. I do think it has had long term effects though. I still feel guilty about spending money even when I can afford it. I didn’t have the opportunity to learn nice manners or develop any taste, and I embarrassed myself a number of times in my teens and early 20s until I figured things out. I was never able to travel so my experience was fairly limited. I didn’t get to do activities such as music or dance, so I was very bored and isolated; I missed out on opportunities to socialise and develop and pick up skills, and it’s too late to catch up now because as an adult I simply don’t have the time to dedicate.

Basically it’s not so much about being poor as the opportunities that it denies you.

Thank you all so much for sharing.

It’s made me well up reading these posts, both the good and the bad experiences.

I think because my own parents had such an up and down money situation I don’t have the best relationship towards money. When growing up I had lots of material things and holidays to nice places in England, but at the same time I remember my mum being worried about debt and even having bailiffs round.

I didn’t have any accommodation sorted when I fell pregnant so securing a stable home in a very expensive part of the county to live was difficult. I need to be more mindful of what I do have - the kids even though very little always have nice new clothes each season, they have plenty for birthdays and Christmas, they have a lovely decorated room and although sometimes we have run short they have plenty of food on the table. I want a little bit more stability (as in not splurging at the beginning of the month and being skint at the end) but I know we are no longer imminently going to lose our home or anything like that. I need to relax a little and continue to focus on the good times.

In terms of reading my 3 year old already loves books and has lots of them, as well as her own library card. I definitely won’t be having any more children in order to not stretch myself any further financially or emotionally, as I like the attention I can give them at the moment.

Yes we were poor. And very unhappy. Dad died of cancer and mum had alcohol issues. I remember sitting in the dark because we had no electricity. No central heating and the gas had run out for the gas fire so we all used to get in to mums bed. Eating weird things for breakfast like custard because it was the only tin left in the house. Milk was always off, bread always mouldy. I never even ate lunch at the weekends, I didn’t know you had it at home, I thought it was just a school thing. Christmas presents from charity shops etc. Sharing bath water to save money.

It has affected me but in a good way because I am what some would call affluent now but still have skills I learned from then. I make sure the house is soft and warm and comfy, that’s number 1. I am very good at cooking on the cheap because I do it all from scratch, I get our holidays cheaply and we go around 4 times a year, I resell everything i can on eBay and if I can get away with it, I buy what I can there too. I suppose I hoard clothes because I am scared that if I throw something away and we become poor again, I will never be able to afford to buy it again. Or I’ll need it to sell.

I absolutely always 100% run my own fresh bath water now though 😂