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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Im losing weight but I feel worse

32 replies

ImFreezinMyTitsOff · 04/12/2018 12:48

Not really an AIBU but posting here because I don't know where else to put it?

In mid October I started SW. I was 17st 11lbs, and I felt disgusted in myself every time I looked in the mirror. I barely left the house. I decided I couldn't live like this anymore more. As of yesterday I'm 15st 12lbs. I've lost all this weight but I look in the mirror and I look the same. I've been completely devoted to this diet. But almost 2stone lighter and I look the same and feel worse. At least when I was binge eating I felt better. I just start crying when I see myself. I don't understand what's happening. Is it normal to lose weight but look no different. I'm 7 weeks in I thought I'd notice by now.

OP posts:

Hiphopopotamus · 04/12/2018 12:50

Two stone is amazing! It’s always harder to see the difference in ourselves as we look in the mirror every day but I bet it is noticeable. Keep on going - you’re doing so well!

HappySeven · 04/12/2018 12:51

My guess is that you don't look the same but the change has been gradual so you can't tell the difference. Did you take any photos at the start? If not take some now and compare in a month. Are your clothes any looser? That can be another good guide.

And well done!

thecatsthecats · 04/12/2018 12:52

I have lost 4st and some days I can't see it at all. In it for the long haul, sadly - you've done brilliantly so far, and you can keep it up. I was very surprised by my last weigh in, because people kept telling me I'd lost even more, but I couldn't see it at all.

Are you able to add some exercise goals in, so you have an objective that isn't about how you look to look forward to? I find my body feels a lot better for weight lifting than it did when I was in a more diety phase for weight loss, and tones me up so I feel better too.

Houseonahill · 04/12/2018 12:53

The trouble is it's hard to see when you look in a mirror, like you expect to see a fat figure you aren't happy with so you do. Have you got any before and after photos? Have you noticed a difference in your clothes? You've lost over 10% of your body weight you're doing really well don't be disheartened.

LostInShoebiz · 04/12/2018 12:53

Some people don’t change much in the face or from the front generally. I’m like that. Thin or fat I’m much the same from the front but turn to the side and I’ve got a big pot belly and hams for arms. Could something similar be the case for you? If you’ve lost two stones (which is marvellous, well done) it will have come off somewhere.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 04/12/2018 12:55

Well done so far OP. Are your clothes feeling looser? Don't give you've done brilliant.

R3b3kah · 04/12/2018 12:56

That’s an amazing achievement.

But forget what the scales say, take your measurements and I bet inches have fell off

HollyBollyBooBoo · 04/12/2018 12:57

You won't look the same at all. Have you to a pic of you at your heaviest and take one today - we will all be able to see the difference!

2 stone is amazing and your body will really be feeling the difference! Don't give up, don't let it creep back on!

Cherries101 · 04/12/2018 12:59

When you start off big it often takes a lot of weight loss to change the way we look. For example, it took me 2 stones of weight loss to drop 1 dress size when I was 15 stones. After I got down to about BMI 30 the weight loss started having a lot more impact on my looks. So be patient and keep going!

slashlover · 04/12/2018 12:59

Most people notice weight loss LOADS more in other people that they do in themselves. Did you take measurements before you started and do your clothes feel looser.

I lost 4 stone in total but didn't see it until I'd lost most of that, even though I'd dropped a couple of sizes.

OohBabyBabeh · 04/12/2018 13:00

I'm not going to lie I have a pretty crappy ED and I can honestly say at my thinnest I was no happier than now after having a baby and being my heaviest. Sure, I looked better in photos and could buy clothes without worrying about how it would look; but overall I was still just as obsessed about my weight and I still wanted to lose more even though people said I started to become 'too thin'.

But you have done well so far OP you should be proud of yourself, but try to not dwell on those numbers so much, happiness comes from within, not a number on a scale

thecatsthecats · 04/12/2018 13:06

Just noticed that you’ve apparently lost 2 stone in about seven weeks - no wonder you feel awful! I would honestly slow down the loss, and aim for sustainable, manageable loss.

I’m guessing you want the weight gone for good? In which case, you need to make it less about punishing yourself for daring to have gained in the first place, and more about healthy, sustainable choices.

All the people I know who’ve lost weight quickly and dramatically have put it all back on. The only people I know who sustained the loss have done it over a long time. I intend to take a ‘pause’ when I’m at 14”6, to allow my body to get used to living at a lower weight - if I can maintain that weight for 6 months, I think I’ll be better at retaining a lower weight.

TidyDancer · 04/12/2018 13:07

OP I'm almost the same as you. I have lost nearly three stone recently and can barely notice a difference some days. I can tell in my face because my cheekbones have become a bit more 'pronounced' and my clothes size has gone down but other than that there's not much of a noticeable difference.

That said, I've seen people recently who I haven't seen since I started losing weight in the summer and they have commented I look smaller so it must just be that I see myself too often to notice!

bananamonkey · 04/12/2018 13:18

2 stone is amazing, well done! There will be little changes you don't necessarily notice right away, your clothes will be fitting better, your body will be feeling healthier. I bet other people can see a difference! Losing weight is a long, hard road but it's all about consistency.

I know it's tough, I'm 2 stone less now than before I was pregnant and in my head I look the same (sometimes worse!). However, I've found I can stick to things much better if I let go of the negative thoughts and focus on being positive like how I'm nourishing my body to be healthy and strong instead of punishing myself by bingeing on crap. Be kind to yourself

ButtMuncher · 04/12/2018 13:40

When I lost 7 stone a good few years ago it took a good 3/4 stone before I 'felt' it and reaped the benefits. Those first few stone came off quickly as has yours (and you've done brilliantly) but try not to beat yourself up that you don't feel it yet - it takes time, and congratulate yourself for what you've done so far.

I've got the same journey coming up soon

Crunchymum · 04/12/2018 13:51

Well done OP, and to the PP who said about it being a "quick loss" I think it depends on a lot of things? I'm assuming (and correct me if I'm wrong) that OP is quite overweight and still has a bit if a way to go? Hence the seemingly fast 2 stone loss but the not feeling or looking all that different.

I'm one and half stone into a goal of losing 3st (well ideally it will be 4st) and I can see feck all difference. And it's been such slow progress as well. I feel close to giving up half the time..... but I don't.... because I know deep down thay slow and steady is the only way to get there and I know that it's going to take a fair bit of weight loss for me to really see and feel the difference.

Don't give up OP and honestly, you WEREN'T happy when you were binge eating, you were full if shame and self loathing and hatred for your body. Whilst you may not be seeing much difference yet, you are doing something positive and not getting fatter.

Stick with it.

AdamNichol · 04/12/2018 13:55

I dropped 1.5 stone in 6 weeks a while back (diet of breakfast bar, sushi and fruit for lunch, small dinner). It was sustainable, but weightloss plateaued after a while.
I never thought I looked different. Probably lost weight all over, so relative body shape didn't change. With no frame of reference, you appear the same. Other people noticed, however.
Dropping the fat is excellent - well done. Make sure you don't drop too much water. You may also want to think about doing something like yoga (at home). The development of muscle tone will alter your body shape (for the better).

RTFT · 04/12/2018 13:55

I've lost 8 stone and it took about 3 before I could tell and wear smaller clothes, stick with it OP and we'll done so far

SpoonBlender · 04/12/2018 14:04

Two stone is fantastic! You're doing it all right!

When you've done the same again you'll definitely start to feel it - lighter, more energy. Keep going.

Prisonbreak · 04/12/2018 14:18

I’m losing weight too. I have lost 3 stone but it took me over 3 months to notice it. You need to be patient with yourself

CrabbityRabbit · 04/12/2018 15:48

I am nearly half my previous body weight. The first stone made no difference whatsoever. The next two made small changes and my clothes were comfortable. It took 4-5 stone for people to properly start noticing.

The smaller I got, the more difference each pound made. Now I can lose a dress size in half a stone instead of 3 stone. I am a healthy BMI. It feels great.

You feel demotivated and crap but remember its a marathon not a race. It took time to gain the weight and it will take time to lose.

AamdC · 04/12/2018 15:56

Hi op im also doing slimming world i was abput a stone heavier than you and have lost nearly 2 stonr simce the beginning of September, i havent noticed but other people have .

thecatsthecats · 04/12/2018 16:12

Crunchymum

That was me, and I'm also the first responder who's lost 4st. I've lost in all sorts of patterns between 9lb and 3.5lb in a month. I have just passed the OP's starting weight AFTER losing 4st myself, so I know that you can lose a lot quickly at a high weight!

27lbs in seven weeks is a huge amount by anyone's standards and I don't know anyone reputable who'd recommend that - almost 4lbs a week! I would honestly talk to your SW coach about losing slower.

Weight loss as a form of self-punishment is a terrible thing.

Omzlas · 04/12/2018 16:27

Firstly, well done OP!

Did you take or do you have some photos that you can compare side by side, to show how far you've already come? It might help to be able to see the difference

alreadyinchristmasmood · 04/12/2018 16:31

OP, but this is such a great achievement! You should be really proud!!!! I am sure you are beautiful.

As other pp have said, do take pics and you'll see a massive difference! Also, you could meet with someone you haven't seen since the weight loss and they'll notice for sure!

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