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Original poster

To ask if anyone else's parents did this?

360 replies

Storm4star · 04/12/2018 12:10

All the Christmas threads have got me thinking! I grew up in the 70's and obviously parenting was different then so I'm wondering if it's that or if my dad was just mean! (He was mean in general so it wouldn't be surprising!). Basically, he would never let us open our presents on Christmas day until after the Queen's speech (which I believe was on about 3pm). If we asked in the meantime then half an hour would be added on to this time, for every time we asked. I honestly used to dream of being like other families and sit round the tree in our dressing gowns in the morning and opening gifts then. Needless to say with my own children, we've always opened presents first thing! So I'm curious if anyone else was subject to these kinds of rules?

OP posts:
Panapan · 04/12/2018 14:16

Yes! We were never allowed to open presents until after the Queen's speech. We also had a rule that you could only get presents from under the tree to give to someone else (not grabbing them for yourself). My first Christmas with DH's family I was horrified to watch his nephews ripping open all their presents at once without even knowing who they were from!

DH and I fully intend to carry on my family's tradition - the anticipation was wonderful, also I think our culture has a bit of a problem with everything having to be immediate. A bit of delayed gratification is healthy in my view!

WendyWoofer · 04/12/2018 14:19

Born in the early 70’s, we’d have a stocking in our bedroom and we could tear into that whenever we woke. Big presents in the living room to open once our parents were up, about 8.00am

Same here except we took our stockings into parents room and sat on their bed to open them, before we all went downstairs, together, to see what Santa had left 😊🎅

onalongsabbatical · 04/12/2018 14:26

Storm4star Ok, rough calculation, so he was nearly 40 when you were born, say you were born 1970, so he was born 1930-ish, in the 30s anyway. You realise his own parents would have been very much Victorian? So none of this is a surprise and while it may seem mean I suspect to him it was completely normal. That's how I'd reckon it anyway.

Limpshade · 04/12/2018 14:26

My DH was born early 80s and had to wait until after the speech for his presents, too - I thought it was barbaric when he told me the first time I was at my ILs at Christmas Grin

I'm a little younger and as kids we opened them all as soon as our parents got up (usually around 9am). We'd play with our stocking presents while we waited!

megletthesecond · 04/12/2018 14:27

We weren't allowed to open presents until our grandparents had arrived around 12 o'clock.

mostdays · 04/12/2018 14:30

No- apart from the fact that we never watched the Queen's speech, for us Xmas was always purely about fun. We were allowed to get up at silly o clock, present opening was the first thing that happened, the day was about playing and eating and drinking and enjoying. My parents would have thought your dad was a bit of a tit.

oh4forkssake · 04/12/2018 14:31

@Babdoc that makes me so sad for little you and your sister. I hope you've managed to have a happy life despite what your parents did to you. Flowers

@WendyWoofer I sat on the end of my parents bed to open my stocking until I brought now-DH home for Christmas when I was 31 Grin. He felt a bit funny about that bit of my family's Christmas tradition so it stopped!

WhyOhWine · 04/12/2018 14:31

When I was growing up, all presents were available as soon as we got up. In fact, my parents did not even bother wrapping anything - they were just set out on a sofa/chair.

In DH's family, they had a small stocking and then presents after lunch.

We have ended up somewhere in the middle, with a decent size stocking from FC (including some "proper" presents) when they wake up, then presents from family (including "main" present from us) after lunch. DC are happy to wait as they have had a decent pile in their stocking first thing.

The odd Christmas we have spent at my parents (which involves staying a few days), they have opened all of their presents in the morning as that it how my parents do it (and what my DNs who live nearby are used to). I do still bother to wrap through! DC have in fact said they prefer how we do it and like the anticipation of waiting for some presents until later.

They are now teens and we are going to shrink the volume of stocking presents this time for the first time so will essentially have more of the presents after lunch. I think they are old enough to cope!

nottakingthisanymore · 04/12/2018 14:32

Every family is different. We didn’t have stockings. No tree presents/ Santa presents. Just presents from family and friends all delivered by Santa. Opened first thing.
Dh family took it in turns to open a present. Would never have worked in our house of 10. We’d still be opening on Boxing Day!

WendyWoofer · 04/12/2018 14:35

@WendyWooferI sat on the end of my parents bed to open my stocking until I brought now-DH home for Christmas when I was 31. He felt a bit funny about that bit of my family's Christmas tradition so it stopped

😂😂😂 I wonder why! 🤣

TheOrigFV45 · 04/12/2018 14:37

Stocking from Father Xmas was opened first thing, then we had to wait UNTIL IT WAS DARK and all lunch things cleared up before opening tree/family presents, which included our main present (when older).

It was hard to wait, but I do look back fondly and we do similar now, though there is some flexibilty. We do wait for tree/family presents until the afternoon but it doesn't have to be dark (don't tell my Mum!).

Original poster
Storm4star · 04/12/2018 14:38

To those asking, yes my dad was a bully in other ways so I think it's all merged into one bad memory! He'd never let us watch any of the Christmas movies that were on. He'd sit in his armchair getting slowly more pissed and grumpy throughout the day. I think that's the thing, he was usually quite drunk and moody by the time we were allowed to open the presents so I remember it being very tense rather than fun. If he'd been a nice dad maybe I wouldn't have minded waiting!

My DC have always woken up around 2 or 3am for their stockings so I managed to get them to wait till 7 or 8am for getting up properly! My only rule was let me make a coffee first! But after 4 hours with their stocking fillers they were ready for main presents. I couldn't imagine making them wait longer. We always have Christmas dinner on Christmas eve though. I realised pretty quickly that being so tired and stuffed full of chocolate on Christmas day was not conducive to them then eating a full roast dinner! So it made more sense. So I guess ours is a kind of 2 day thing. Dinner and then new PJs etc Christmas Eve. Christmas day is presents and then a relaxing day eating leftovers and snacks.

OP posts:
Charolais · 04/12/2018 14:40

I grew up in the 50's and 60's and we opened presents first thing in the morning.

ABitCrapper · 04/12/2018 14:42

Presents after church here. Which I can sort of understand what with it being a religious celebration.

Original poster
Storm4star · 04/12/2018 14:42

@onalongsabbatical
Yes he was born in 1932, god that makes me feel old! And he was one of 13 children so I can't really imagine what his childhood was like! So yes, you may well be right on that one. He was definitely never a hands on dad. Much more of the "children should be seen and not heard" variety.

OP posts:
steppemum · 04/12/2018 14:44

we did stocking s when we woke up (at 5 am)

Then we all had to sit down to breakfast (with Granny, who insisted on the real thing, tabel laid etc, no bowl of cereal on the go)

Then everyone dressed
Then, when everyone had their coffee (that took a while) and the turkey was all under control THEN and only then could we begin.

The youngest was the postman, and gave out the presents, and we didn't start opening until we all had our presents. We had to show each one to Mum and dad too (which I now realise was so they knew who had given what).
If the person wa sin the room we had to go and say thank you nicely beofre moving on.

We've pretty much stuck to that.
Nothing like a bit of eager anticipation to help spread the day out.

Only problem is one 11 year old who is up at 6 and her big teenage brother who would like to sleep in until 11!

onalongsabbatical · 04/12/2018 14:49

I think that's a lot of the answer, Storm4star, and as one of 13 - 13! - I can't imagine he really ever got any attention and therefore may have felt rather lost as a parent. Thirteen children in the 1930s - and presumably either the 20s or 40s too - is really another world to the one we live in now.

steppemum · 04/12/2018 14:49

Can I just say, Victorian does not = horrible parent?
I realise OP's experience was very negative, but my grandfather was born in 1899. I was in my twenties when he died, and while he was not the sort of hands on dad that today's dads are, her was a very loving and gentle man, and was a great dad to his girls (my mum and her sister)

He ws a fab person to have around on Christmas day, especially when we were older, he was full of jokes and word games

KonaMum · 04/12/2018 14:54

We did stockings pre-breakfast, everything else post-breakfast (9ish I guess?). We’ve always done one present per person at a time. It can make the unwrapping process last hours but really spreads out the fun IMO!

CoodleMoodle · 04/12/2018 14:54

I wasn't allowed to open my tree presents until after lunch. Then my Grandad would always fall asleep and I'd have to wait for him to wake up... it was torture! But I was used to it. I had my stocking first thing and DM (she wasn't the one who made me wait) always put things in it to keep me amused until it was time. Sometimes we wouldn't start until 4pm!

DD(4) has her stocking in the morning, then after she's dressed she has a couple of tree presents, then the rest after lunch. She hasn't complained yet but it's DS's first Christmas this year so she'll be even more desperate to get opening I think.

Roomba · 04/12/2018 14:56

The most magical part of Christmas day was seeing whether Father Christmas had been and diving straight into the pile of presents! I was a kid in the late 70s/early 80s.

My ex's family did presents after Christmas Dinner and I remember telling my mother this before we spent Christmas there with DS1 for the first time. My mother was appalled and said this was fine for adults but just cruel for excited little kids. She was actually disgusted that they may try to make DS wait all day (they didn't in the end, they were perfectly happy for him to open presents first thing). My ex's mother confessed that they used to do this because she'd been so busy working long hours and was so broke she'd buy everything last minute and had to wrap the presents upstairs during Christmas morning! She'd always felt guilty about it but my ex had just accepted this as how it was always done.

JammieCodger · 04/12/2018 15:04

Stockings (well, pillow cases) in the morning then after lunch the grandparents would watch the Queen and and rest of us would wash-up and/or walk the dogs. Then home for presents and cake.

We do the same with our kids, apart from letting them choose one tree-present to open before lunch. It means everyone, including the cooks, can unwrap their presents together without having to rush off to baste the turkey or whatever. I never felt hard done by.

headinhands · 04/12/2018 15:07

Free for all here when everyone is in the lounge.

BadBadBeans · 04/12/2018 15:07

I'm an 80s kid, but we were allowed to have stocking presents as soon as we woke up, no matter how early that was - we took them into our parents' bed and opened them together. Then once it was a reasonable hour, we would go downstairs and open the tree presents.

However, when I became part of DH's family (and he is also an 80s kid) I was a bit Shock to discover that they indeed only did presents after the Queen's speech. This was a tradition dating back from FIL's family that had stuck. MIL and I have since joined forces and changed the tradition, I am pleased to report :D

seventhgonickname · 04/12/2018 15:14

We were up very early to open presents.
With my dd though she used to wake at about 8am(the only day of the year it happened!).
She would creep in beside us and open her stocking.We opened presents at about 1030 when there was nothing kitchen wise to do.Even when we had others over who opened all their presents from parents first thing dd was quite happy.
Her role was handing out the pressies which she loved and saved all hers in a big pile for the end.!
Like me she likes the anticipation I think .
She did cry when she was about 3 because she thought she had no satsuma(exh had helped wrapping and had wrapped the satsuma).
When I was working(when she was 5)then she got her Santa present but waited until I got home to open anything else.