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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if anyone else's parents did this?

360 replies

Storm4star · 04/12/2018 12:10

All the Christmas threads have got me thinking! I grew up in the 70's and obviously parenting was different then so I'm wondering if it's that or if my dad was just mean! (He was mean in general so it wouldn't be surprising!). Basically, he would never let us open our presents on Christmas day until after the Queen's speech (which I believe was on about 3pm). If we asked in the meantime then half an hour would be added on to this time, for every time we asked. I honestly used to dream of being like other families and sit round the tree in our dressing gowns in the morning and opening gifts then. Needless to say with my own children, we've always opened presents first thing! So I'm curious if anyone else was subject to these kinds of rules?

OP posts:
Limensoda · 04/12/2018 13:31

We opened presents from Father Christmas in the morning and presents from other people after Christmas lunch along with presents to and from each other.

Excited101 · 04/12/2018 13:34

We would open our stockings together in DSis bed while parents stayed in bed then main presents were generally after getting dressed (nicely!!) and with DF calling us into the living room once the video camera was set up and rolling on the tripod...!

Iloveautumnleaves · 04/12/2018 13:35

Stocking and one present on the bed from Santa, which we could open whenever we woke up, we could wake my parents from 6am onwards. Presents in Pj’s. Perfect if you ask me.

Church - nope.
Queen’s speech - not that I remember.

Still nope to church (never except for others weddings, christenings & funerals) but yes to the Queen’s speech, but don’t make the kids watch if they don’t want to, as long as they’re not completely drowning her out it’s fine.

Natsku · 04/12/2018 13:35

Stocking in the morning and one present (to take and show at Church) and then we had to wait until after lunch, and we had to stop for the Queen's Speech and carry on afterwards if we still had presents left to open (we opened one at a time, taking turns, first guessing what we got)

Was so frustrating to wait! But now it's pretty much the same for my DC, stocking and a few presents in the morning (ones from my family and anything too big to take in the car to FIL's) and the rest wait until after dinner when Joulupukki (great-grandma's boyfriend in a costume) comes and hands them out. So I guess I am mean like my parents were.

Witchend · 04/12/2018 13:37

We used to have stockings first thing, then no presents until after lunch, which would finish way after 3pm.
We also went away over Christmas and so didn't take presents with us, so maximum presents after lunch were 2 (one from gran, one from cousins). The rest waited until the day after we'd got back, which was often into January.

But actually I liked that. I found dh's family everything was open by not long after 8am and then they started being a bit snipy due to anti-climax and feeling of everything finished.

My dc choose (we gave them several options) to do the same as my family. In fact, if we're away or have visitors we do two Christmas days. We have a small stocking with 1-2 things in and the visitor presents when with them on Christmas day, then when we're back/they've gone we have our own Christmas day with the rest of the stocking presents and presents to each other. The children suggested it, and now miss it if we don't have it.

DontMakeMeShushYou · 04/12/2018 13:38

We did this when I was a child, and we've carried on the tradition with our children.

Stockings first thing (which never include big presents, but have enough small things to keep the children occupied). Then croissants for breakfast, and then shower and get dressed. Then my parents arrive. The kids usually sit at the kitchen table decorating gingerbread. At some point in the late morning the local silver band arrive in our street and play carols and everyone comes out of their houses to listen and share mince pies and say hello to each other. Then it's back inside for huge Christmas lunch and then we light the fire and open all the pressies.

Blinkingblimey My children always wait until everyone is around before they open their stockings as well. In fact DH and I are usually up first so waiting for them to come down. They have also always insisted on opening them together.

It's magical, to me at least, and the magic and fun gets spread throughout the day.

Natsku · 04/12/2018 13:39

Oh except that my DC get to do it all on Christmas Eve rather than Christmas Day so actually, they're opening a whole day earlier than I did - I'm the opposite of mean!

Notgoodatchoosingnames · 04/12/2018 13:40

Father Christmas presents in the morning on my parents/grandparents bed, then would have to wait until after lunch for the presents from friends and family under the tree. I used to hate it when my mum insisted on making her own custard for the Christmas pudding!! But it was good as it meant we played with the father Christmas presents for half the day before moving on to the new stuff!!
I try to do similar with my family now. though it's a blended family and my husband and his side think I'm the mean one :-)

5foot5 · 04/12/2018 13:41

Child of the 60s.

We opened ours first thing, although the definition of first thing would be at least 7-ish and we had to wait until Mum and Dad had got a cup of tea and then we sat on their bed to open them.

I did know a family though who were not allowed to open their presents until tea time, although they may have had stockings for first thing.

BlueStockingUK · 04/12/2018 13:43

Awwh x well at least you can choose how you do Christmas now.
We had stocking's to open in our room and instructions to stay there I think til at least 7am!
We all came down together, had to eat breakfast at the kitchen table, then we lined up at the door " on your marks, get set, go ..."Smile

Best Christmas's ever and do most traditions as a youngster, with mine now x

EdisonLightBulb · 04/12/2018 13:43

We always opened presents first thing, and I was born in the 60s and a young child in the 70s, BUT we always had to get dressed first before going downstairs.

Why? I never minded if my DC wanted to stay in PJs all day, if we were staying home.

cropcirclesinthefields · 04/12/2018 13:46

I'm a child of the 80s but we always had a stocking in the morning, usually diary, calender, chocolate etc. Then tree presents after dinner and when everything was washed up and put away, then we could have presents.

Vanillaradio · 04/12/2018 13:46

Born in the 70s. Santa left one present on the end of my bed that I could open and play with as soon as I woke up. Was allowed to get up at 7am and view presents- had to eat breakfast, get dressed and clean teeth before I could open them. Never watched the Queens Speech!

ChocolateTearDrops · 04/12/2018 13:46

Stockings first thing, then all wash, dress and full breakfast. One table present for everyone. Church, family popped in for a Christmas sherry, Christmas dinner, Queen's Speech and then presents.

Boxing Day we visited relatives to exchange presents and have high tea.

babybythesea · 04/12/2018 13:56

Stocking presents first thing here. Then dog walk, followed by Christmas dinner, followed by watching the Queens speech, followed by main presents.
We did this as children because we would wake up in our house and have the stocking presents there, then go to my gran for Christmas dinner along with other relatives, and we'd all bring the gifts for each other, so we weren't sitting at home surrounded by unopened presents all day! Also, then so people got to see you opening the things they'd bought you.
It never felt mean. It was what we had always done and I loved the anticipation. We'd opened some presents, and used to take some bits to my gran's house to show people and play with. There were lots of elderly relatives there, and only two children, and we were doted on, so plenty of people to fuss over us! We'd stay the night at my gran's house, and do the whole thing again on Boxing Day, but with a cold cuts and salad lunch, and time to play games. Big whole family card games, Trivial Pursuit, and often the adults would help us if we didn't understand the rules on any new games we'd been given and wanted to play.
With my own kids, we do the same thing, for much the same reason. We stay with my parents but my sister comes up around lunch time with her children. So, we do stockings first. Play for a bit, dog walk etc. Others arrive for lunch, Queens speech just as lunch finishes, main presents now everyone is there. It works for us. And strings the whole day out (add in Boxing Day and it's a really fun family couple of days).

bananamonkey · 04/12/2018 14:00

Our neighbours' parents did this (89s/90s kids) and I remember we always felt sorry for them! We got ours first thing, it was so exciting to see Santa had been and take it turns to open a present each, taking a break for breakfast.

Mydogisforlife · 04/12/2018 14:00

I was a child in the 50s. Our stockings were left at the end of the bed so they were opened as soon as we were awake, then down to the living room for the other presents.

My upbringing was very strict (but not cruelly so) but we never had to wait to open our presents, and as far as I know, neither did any of my friends.

Mari50 · 04/12/2018 14:01

Born in the early 70’s, we’d have a stocking in our bedroom and we could tear into that whenever we woke. Big presents in the living room to open once our parents were up, about 8.00am.

bobstersmum · 04/12/2018 14:03

My dad was a killjoy but he didn't do that. My mum used to creep down with us whatever time we woke up and we'd sit and open our presents, don't ever remember my dad being there though, he must have stayed in bed.

AriadnePersephoneCloud · 04/12/2018 14:04

We had stockings from father Christmas first thing then main presents after lunch. Mine get there's before lunch so they can play with them all day Grin

spidey66 · 04/12/2018 14:05

We always had our presents first thing, they'd be in pillowcases at the end of our bed waiting for us.

Never watched the Queens Speech as a child, my parents weren't particularly interested (well my mum was into royal gossip but that was it) and we'd be eating our turkey at that time anyway.

My parents were practising Catholics, so going to church was a Must. Some years we went to Midnight Mass , others during the day.

arranbubonicplague · 04/12/2018 14:10

It varies. In my family, there was a Christmas morning opening when we were young. Post the Father Christmas phase, we opened some presents after returning from Midnight Mass.

In DH's family, they weren't allowed to open gifts until early evening when the 2nd set of grandparents arrived.

TeaMeBasil · 04/12/2018 14:12

We did stocking/Father Christmas presents in the morning and then the bigger family/under the tree presents after dinner. We were occupied with the Father Christmas presents & Christmas movies & games all day with round two of presents still to look forward.

I never thought they were being mean Grin if anything the anticipation made it more fun. Wouldn't do any other way Smile

Storm4star · 04/12/2018 14:15

@onalongsabbatical

My dad actually was a bit older, nearly 40 when I was born. Nowadays that isn't old for a dad but back then I think it was a bit. I know he was older than a lot of my friends dads.

OP posts:
GU24Mum · 04/12/2018 14:15

We had a similar thing though substitute "healthy walk" for Queen's speech. I've done the same thing but ironically my parents now tell me I'm inflexible and hard on the children........!!!